How to tell the difference between ‘listening to your body’ and being lazy ?

[Chocchops72]

I’ma fifty year old woman. I’ve never been sporty, but always been active. I cycle to work daily, I can walk up a (small) mountain without too much difficulty, but I’ve never found a sport I like enough to devote much time / energy to.

over the last few years I feel like my body is suddenly, dramatically, ageing.

I’m peri menopausal - very heavy periods, middle aged spread, tired, grumpy (though the latter has passed mostly). I’m due to have an operation to remove uterine polyps soon, which might alleviate the heavy periods.

idk why but all former injury sites have suddenly become painful. I broke two fingers about 18 years ago, they were never set properly, and the places where they broke are aching and sore. Ditto a wrist I broke like 30 years ago - it’s swollen and aching after anything I do with it, like housework or changing bedsheets. Ditto an old shoulder injury - I damaged my rotator cuff about 20 years ago while skiing. For the last couple of years it has become really painful and restrictive. It’s been diagnosed as tendinitis, I’ve had physio which didn’t make any difference, and am now looking at a steroid injection. I’ve got long standing lower back issues (4 bulging discs) which cause pain and sciatica: these have flared up really badly and are stopping me from sleeping now.

I’ve just had my third bout of COVID 🙄. It was the mildest so far, but three weeks later I am finding myself utterly exhausted. Not all the time, but every few days I wake up exhausted already. Idk if it’s post COVID or what, but it’s horrible.

at the back of my mind there is this little voice telling me that I’m just being lazy and making excuses. That this general malaise is because I’ve never been fit in the first place. That if I’d been a regular runner or a cyclist or a swimmer or gym go-er i wouldn’t feel like this - old and sore and gaining weight.

am i being lazy ? Or it’s my body telling me to slow down and try to heal all the above ?

Not trying.

If you try something and can't (body says no) then you're listening to your body.

If you don't try then you haven't given your body a chance to air your opinion.

You don't sound lazy to me.

Well I clicked on this link expecting to see an “I’ve got a severe cold, should I rest or am I overindulging and it won’t make any difference if I carry on as normal” type post, which is my usual dilemma. Your list of injuries sounds like one well worth resting, not least because of the covid.

I would say DEFINITELY rest, and if you’re still bad in a week or two, get to the doctor to talk about long covid and about how much the menopause might be affecting you (make a double appointment if pos and make it clear that you have two issues!).

💐

My litmus test usually is “could I even just try to do 10 minutes?” And if the answer to just do it feels so wrong in my body, then I know I’m generally not being lazy but genuinely ill/fatigued/needing adequate rest.

Quite likely it's a bit of both.

Maybe you need to adjust what you're doing, and also your expectations. I think there's good reasons why Pilates and yoga classes tend towards more mature women. I'm 61, find a combination of Pilates and walking pretty good though I need to do a bit more on strength and aerobic fitness at the moment.

I think calling yourself lazy is being unkind to yourself.

It takes a bit of practice to break the habit, but when you start being kind to yourself, healthful habits follow.

Menopause is unpredictable. I know a woman who was at the peak
of fitness, took her diet and supplements seriously, has done everything right and menopause has been hellish.

My advice is go see someone who specialises in menopause and women’s health. Skip the gp, and get yourself in front of an expert. The problems with your fingers and bones could be exacerbated by oestrogen deficiency.

Another voice who came to yoga late in life and love the way it focuses on alignment, how you can try the same thing on both sides of the body and notice an, albeit small, difference between the feeling on each side. Do it a few times and whatever the restriction was might have freed up a bit.

Different from side to side, day to day.

I struggle with being gentle with my self and am learning with the help of a good teacher. It's very easy to think you are doing something when actually the muscles being used are other than you expect.

Also found Katy Bowman's work late in life www.amazon.co.uk/Dynamic-Aging-Exercises-Whole-Body-Mobility/dp/1943370117

You need to do gentle exercise op.
Try swimming, yoga, walking...

Full on cardio is going to stress your system out currently.

A physiotherapist I know who worked in a Long COVID clinic told me that part of long COVID is that old injuries flare up so this may be part if it. But also I’m a few years younger but have similar issues and dilemmas. The niggling injuries keep piling up, mostly tendonitis in various places. I also get crippling fatigue but all bloods fine. I routinely grapple with whether I should push myself or rest.

You’re not lazy. You’ve got a lot of issues. Me too. I have lupus, asthma, joint problems etc all sorts. I have found HRT helps. And lots of painkillers! 🙈 But it is important to rest. We’re all conditioned to be going full speed all the time but actually it’s good for our body’s to rest too.

I'd start yoga session ( YouTube ) or a short walk ( keep it very simple and light while you recover ) and see how I felt after 5 mins - still feel crap then stop and try again a few days later - it always takes a push to get going again

I had very good advice from my osteopath and GP about keeping active, low key if needed, but not to start resting/lying down unless you absolutely have to

my issues are not exactly the same as yours, but also slipped discs and shoulder ache and stiff hip (the joy of 50!)

it’s been good advice, I walk and swim on days where I have pain

on good days I get very active with cardio/tennis

so yes. Listen to your body. But also ask it some questions iyswim

Listen to your body. But also ask it some questions iyswim

I'm going to try and think about it this way I think.

I think I am over-estimating my ability to control what's happening to my body as I am ageing. It's always served me well, I've always been quite flexible and able to basically do what I've wanted to do and I've never had to pay all that much attention to it tbh. But all of a sudden everything hurts and I feel a million years old!

I used to do yoga, but am struggling to find a time / place atm - we are in a small-ish apartment, with all 4 (DH, me, 2 x teenage DSs) coming and going at all times, I rarely if ever get any time or space where I can exercise at home. I'd have to get up at 5am - which just isn't possible when I am this tired. So that means a class, which just feels like... another thing to cram into my day. Excuses, excuses, I know.

I do think some people who 'listen to their body' are indeed just lazy. They are often the same people who are 'giving myself permission to rest' when actually they do fuck all anyway!

But you don't sound like those people. By the way I'm almost a decade younger than you and am already starting to feel my years!

Check your vitamin D levels, mine were low and I was old. I checked and took lots of supplements as recommended by GP and am now much younger again .

not really old or younger but used to have aches and now don’t at all.

and do Pilates, as it helps with the aches too

Definitely rest, but I think your symptoms need more investigation. Has your GP tested for rheumatoid arthritis? That can present like this, and is more common in women of your age group.

Widespread inflammation like this is likely to have a cause beyond just tendinitis - tendons don't usually swell up for no reason at all, it's either an injury or something else.

I'd also ask your GP for a blood test to test for the usual culprits for this sort of tiredness - anaemia etc.

I am wondering what difference is between sporty & active.
I like AnImaginaryCat's distinction. That's workable.

You don’t sound lazy. keeping mobile with your injuries and age is important though so as others have said something not heavy impacting or intensity cardio - instead walking, swimming, yoga etc.

You (we all) need to focus on getting heart rate up and some strength work. The above can do that without stressing you.

If it’s long covid then exercising will make you worse, not better. You need to #StopRestPace.

This is absolutely not the time to push yourself or feel guilty about not doing much. Take time to rest and recover. The alternative could be a whole lot worse.

The other thing that can be worth women getting checked In their 50s is thyroid function - quite a few develop some degree of hypothyroidism

I’m so pleased you posted this OP. I was thinking of posting on the same subject.
Like you, I’m 50 and in the last 18 months my body seems to be giving up the ghost !! In the last 3 months it’s getting worse and worse and I can hardly walk when I get home from work. I do have a very physical job and work long hours but at home I’m completely useless and like you I’m fearing it’s laziness.

But god it hurts most of the time, my legs and feet are the worst and I’ve tried every piece of footwear under the sun, but now it’s also my back (slipped a disc 8 years ago) neck, shoulders and elbows. Constant joint pain or aches. I actually cried this week because I feel so useless. I’ve been convincing myself I manage at work because I’m getting paid and have no choice (and I enjoy it) but I’m lazy because at home I have nothing left to give - single mum so no one else does it either.

Likewise I’m under investigation by the hospital for gynae related horribleness and extremely heavy periods. My doctor doesn’t want to start me on HRT until I see them (now waiting over a year for an appointment).

I’m sorry this is no actual help to you, but I needed to vent and hopefully offer a bit of solidarity. I almost feel betrayed by my body at the moment and am at a total loss at what to do.

Do you have long Covid? You might from your symptoms. Pushing yourself will only make it worse

I’ve got a dr rdv on Monday and I’m going to be asking her opinion on:

post COVID
thyroid issues (my mums on thyroxin, I remember that extreme fatigue was one of her symptoms)
anaemia due to months of heavy periods

joint pain (never had everything hurting all at once before)
specific treatment for my shoulder.

i hear you loud and clear @MangoMask , it’s very hard going. I’ve never had to pay all that much attention to my body (except for pregnancy, childbirth and treatment for my back issues) - it just worked. I’m not on any regular medication, my blood pressure’s always been fine etc. It’s like everything went pear-shaped, all at once.

I had a lot of pain in pregnancy and the physiotherapist O went to told me to find any painfree comfortable movement and do that for a bit as it’s better than being completely static. I found it a useful idea.

Hope you feel better soon

Sounds tough, and echo to check for vit D or iron deficiency

Both quite common for women our age group!