How to tell the difference between ‘listening to your body’ and being lazy ?

[Chocchops72]

I’ma fifty year old woman. I’ve never been sporty, but always been active. I cycle to work daily, I can walk up a (small) mountain without too much difficulty, but I’ve never found a sport I like enough to devote much time / energy to.

over the last few years I feel like my body is suddenly, dramatically, ageing.

I’m peri menopausal - very heavy periods, middle aged spread, tired, grumpy (though the latter has passed mostly). I’m due to have an operation to remove uterine polyps soon, which might alleviate the heavy periods.

idk why but all former injury sites have suddenly become painful. I broke two fingers about 18 years ago, they were never set properly, and the places where they broke are aching and sore. Ditto a wrist I broke like 30 years ago - it’s swollen and aching after anything I do with it, like housework or changing bedsheets. Ditto an old shoulder injury - I damaged my rotator cuff about 20 years ago while skiing. For the last couple of years it has become really painful and restrictive. It’s been diagnosed as tendinitis, I’ve had physio which didn’t make any difference, and am now looking at a steroid injection. I’ve got long standing lower back issues (4 bulging discs) which cause pain and sciatica: these have flared up really badly and are stopping me from sleeping now.

I’ve just had my third bout of COVID 🙄. It was the mildest so far, but three weeks later I am finding myself utterly exhausted. Not all the time, but every few days I wake up exhausted already. Idk if it’s post COVID or what, but it’s horrible.

at the back of my mind there is this little voice telling me that I’m just being lazy and making excuses. That this general malaise is because I’ve never been fit in the first place. That if I’d been a regular runner or a cyclist or a swimmer or gym go-er i wouldn’t feel like this - old and sore and gaining weight.

am i being lazy ? Or it’s my body telling me to slow down and try to heal all the above ?

The joint pain and swelling, in multiple joints, and without any specific recent injury to cause it, is a red flag for rheumatoid arthritis or other inflammatory conditions, so I'd ask about that too.

I'm wondering about long covid. I have ongoing joint pain and muscle aches and have been checked for everything! Screened for all autoimmune illnesses and have had hands and feet scanned. Doctor is referring me to a menopause clinic but I just cannot believe fluctuating hormones could cause such pain?!

Oh good question, I'm 52 and have been far less active the last year. Is this me listening to my body or am i just settling in to a muffin top with too much acceptance. I don't knwo.

oh that's helpful actually. I like that.

Even tidying up, sometimes I get home to a pigsty kitchen and I put on the oven timer for ten minutes and think eugh, just tidy for ten minutes. And that much I can face, just about, so I know this approach would work for figuring out if I can go for a walk or if I just don't have the energy in the tank.

You say you are peri-menopausal so why not try HRT? I have heard that joint pains are a symptom, but the general lethargy is also an indicator. I was amazed at how much more energetic and mentally positive I felt after starting HRT.

Ugh to all this, I have the joint pain too. Really bad aches in hands and feet and can't walk that far without the pain in my feet starting to become too much. Take Vitamin D, doesn't seem to do much. Took Health and Her tablets which seemed to make it worse. Don't know whether to try more exercise or less.

If I'm like this at 48, the thought of being 60 scares me.

@user654387811

If you are overweight it needs shifting

Otherwise HRT is worth a shot

You don't sound remotely lazy. Your post suggests you have quite a high level of inflammation though, (possibly as the aftermath of Covid) as all those old wounds are flaring up. I'd try eating a very anti inflammatory diet (berries, oily fish, greens) and avoid inflammatory ones (sugar, refined carbs) for a few weeks.

You could also rest. I usually do a lot of workouts a week, however a busy work schedule led to me having to stop for two months. I got flabby but it did my tendons so much good. I had been in constant niggling pain from old wounds flaring up and the two months of doing nothing but walking gave them a rest and they calmed down.

You could add some very gentle exercise like yoga and swimming. Both beneficial as we get older.

Nope, size 8 and always have been, exercise for about 5 hours a week, never smoked, healthy diet, little alcohol.

But for OP, I had flu about 8 years ago and it took a good 6-8 weeks or so to get back to feeling normal again (a colleague had it too and said the same) so you will need to rest if you have post viral fatigue

I can't speak for the long covid, but I recommend that you manage your meno actively - my joints got terrible with menopausal arthritis but I am FINE now. What really helped (apart from the HRT which helped me have the energy to do it)

• way more strength training, sore joints sometimes need muscles to support them, and increased muscle helps metabolism I think.
• reducing sugar dramatically and lowish carb highish protein wholefoods only diet
• less alcohol

As to your question, when you are too tired, get out there and do something not nothing, and you will work with your body better I think and feel better.

Omg OP your body is desperate to heal and rest, please listen to it.

Laziness is a capitalist idea to make people feel guilty for not being “productive”. Listening to your body is so much more important. A question I consider in this situation is: does my health/fitness allow me to live the life I want/need to? If the answer is yes then great! If it’s no, then the follow-up question is: what do I need in order to be able to answer yes to the first question? That allows you to think about what would be helpful; for example if it’s because your symptoms are making life difficult, then it’s about seeking medical intervention. If you find you’re out of breath more quickly than you’d like to be, then the answer might be to think about allowing for some appropriate cardio. If it’s flexibility that you’re struggling with, then maybe yoga could help, and so on. Good luck and take care of yourself!

I feel very similar OP (but haven't had covid). I've been tested for RA, thyroid and everything is normal but it all HURTS SO MUCH. I work part time and find I have to go to bed in the afternoon to get through the day. I actually exercise (run usually) three times a week. I stopped for a while but it didn't help and if anything I felt worse. I really hope it's related to menopause and won't be forever.

I really hope it's related to menopause and won't be forever.

Do women get to 55 or whatever and feel better? Genuine question!

@user654387811 , I would say no, because the cause is lack of oestrogen and that is ongoing once you hit perimenopause.

Personally I was having joint pain and started hrt and 6 months in, it's a lot better.

I do a lot of sport and exercise and I felt old and sore and putting in weight

Upping my HRT made the pains that I'd been getting physio for for the last couple of years, go away. I had no idea that it'd have that effect and no one suggested that the pain could be due to the menopause

Agree with HRT really helping with joint pain. I was at the point where it hurt to put my feet on the floor in the morning and I’d be hobbling across the room to open the curtains. I don’t have that anymore.