Adult adhd experiences please?

[RooksAndRavens]

We're awaiting an appointment for our son to be assessed for adhd.

My husband and I have both wondered about ourselves having adhd too. We both tick the boxes.

So for me, I'm chaotic and disorganised. I'm always late for everything. I get overwhelmed in places like supermarkets. I can be very restless and anxious. My concentration is very up and down.

Experiences of adhd in adults would be great? Thank you.

Sounds very much like ADHD to me.

Losing things is another one I can add to the list.

Also I have no idea how people leave the house on time without it being massively stressful. I'm trying really hard to be on time, so every morning is very stressy :(

I have adhd. Been recently diagnosed and your symptoms sound very much like me. I am a bit scatty. ADHD is hereditary.

A few other symptoms of ADHD

I find it hard to prioritise tasks and equally start / finish tasks. I jump around from task to task whether that's email to email, or laundry pile to dish pile. It's a pain because I start 10 things and very rarely finish any. Thinking forward onto the future is very difficult. It's hard to set and work towards goals and think about the results from my actions now and how they will benefit / impact my future.

I have a terrible memory. Cannot remember faces and names for the life of me. I could be talking to a parent at school one day and then bump into them in a different setting like Tesco 2 days later and have no clue of their name or why I may vaguely recognise them if I do at all.

I'm also very creative. I ask lots of questions - often ones that people wouldn't think to ask. There are some benefits to adhd, but the majority of the time it is a real struggle. I have found medication so far to be very helpful.

Have a look at the Neurodiverse Mumsnetters board here on MN.

Also wanted to add that Adult ADHD is just ADHD that has gone undiagnosed from when you were a child. It won't be a new thing. If it truly is ADHD you will have always had it and struggled with it, but just never knew.

Stand out comments that many people including myself have had throughout their school and work careers are things like:

Daydreams a lot
Very bright, but fails to apply herself
Fails to achieve potential

😔

I have the symptoms already mentioned.

I'm recently diagnosed, at 42. It makes sense now, as I've always struggled. The lack of filter, and incessant talking. And I hadn't realised until I got the report, that the over thinking is a huge part of it for me.

Apparently it can worsen with the menopause. I'm perimenopausal and this is true for me. I haven't been able to do a "proper" job for a few years after burning out. And now am failing miserably at my current new job.

I paid for a private diagnosis and am waiting for meds to start. Am hoping for a miracle!

Can I ask how much you paid and how you went about it?
Or if anyone has any other experiences of diagnosis? I don't know where to begin!

Overthinking.
Constant brain-chatter, like five radios going off at once.
Inability to tune out distracting or annoying noises.
Difficulty retaining facts.
Difficulty keeping things tidy, yet unable to relax in an untidy room.
Forgetting where I’ve put things such as keys, glasses, purse, etc.
Easily overwhelmed.
Difficulty concentrating on what someone is saying to me.

That’s off the top of my head.

Oh, an inability to manage time. Thinking I can do more in the time I have available than I actually can, which leads to chronic lateness.

Oh the brain chatter is something else, I can't believe other people don't have this. I even wake myself up with it. At the moment it's like screaming as I'm overwhelmed.

I've lost my purse, but the house is so untidy I can't find it. I've spent the day looking for it, which started in the porch. I've now ended up cleaning the airing cupboard, and haven't made it to the kitchen.

Its not in the airing cupboard, I haven't been in there for fucking weeks!

Anyway, the assessment was £695 which includes the cost of the prescriptions during titration. But obv not the cost of the meds. And then I'll need to pay for a meds review after a month.

I can PM a link of where I had it done.

Most accurate description I've seen and fits me like a glove. Thank you!

@ContSalw thanks so much, but that's beyond my means at the moment!
Apologies OP for asking questions on your post!

I cant afford the diagnosis but pretty sure this is me (daughter asd) . Dr just said the nhs doesn't pay for "self exploration" 😡.

I could have written this :)

Placemarking for later

I am certain I have ADHD... It takes me forever to do jobs that don't seem like big jobs. I can be in the middle of typing and then find I am wandering around the house. I start millions of jobs and struggle to finish anything. I hate clutter and mess, yet can never make the house uncluttered.

To give an example I find packing my suitcase for holiday extremely stressful as my brain can't cope with everything you remember to take... And the stress to find it all.

I get brain overload very very easily, a full time job is just too difficult.

I've just bought a book called Square Pegs.

Oh and the other things is my brain get excited and packs too much in the diary and then I burn out and can't fulfill it all.

I’ve remembered some more.

I find it impossible to strategise. Games like chess where you have to know what you’ll be doing three moves ahead - forget it.

I’m great at thinking on my feet, but don’t ask me to plan anything weeks in advance. Writing a scheme of work (I was a teacher) was my worst nightmare.

I can’t visualise plans, etc, in my head. If I’m reading a book with detailed descriptions of a location in relation to another location - it just skips off the surface of my brain like spit off a hot iron.

I can’t follow verbal instructions. I have to learn by doing it myself.

I am 100% sure I have adhd so I went to see a doctor yesterday about being referred for an assessment.

He was completely dismissive of my concerns and immediately suggested I have other issues and repeatedly insinuated I must have depression and only children are diagnosed with ADHD and I was too old ( nearly 40)
He also said even if I did get a diagnosis what would I gain from it other than medication I should steer well clear of. While also pushing antidepressants at me.

He wasn't going to refer me but I made him.

If you think you may have adhd push for an assessment and don't let anyone fob you off.

Would you mind pm-ing me the link as my dh wants to be assessed.

It can often manifest symptoms more in women when they hit peri menopause or hit stressful times - looking after kids / elderly parents, more senior work stress etc. I think it’s a combo of factors going on meaning your previous masking / coping strategies start to fail to work and you’re left going ‘wtf is going on?!’

If you follow the guy below on twitter (late diagnosed ADHDer) he pretty much nails it!

This is a good podcast.

ADHD podcast for women

Anyone looking for a good podcast Strugglecare on Instagram (KC Davis) is amazing and just started a podcast. Which I love because I've caught it at the beginning and I hate joining podcasts which have hundreds of old episodes because I feel like I have to listen to them all, I can't just jump in 😂

I'd be interested in the link to diagnosis thank you

Can tick a lot above
Don't feel I've done much with my life, never know what to do with myself
Can really hyper focus, work faster harder on something than anyone
In school was top of a lot but that's because I wrote and re wrote homework. And got up at insane early hours on exam days to cream information into my brain as I didn't retain it
I'm impulsive. Interrupt and chatter nonsense though I know it annoying and I'm telling myself not to, it just bursts out
My house is a tip, used to go a week at a time before washing dishes but now working from home that's what I try to prioritise. I do them about once every 48 hours

Just a few examples

Without sounding stupid- can you have a milder case of adhd? Sorry if that's not right.
I really see some of these signs in myself:

Zero to stressed in a second when leaving the house/going on holiday/ doing a task

Terrible memory

Distracted by anything

Inability to concentrate on a task

Constant talking over people- I know this is rude but it's like I get so excited I can't help it.

Mood swings- I can be so cross and then it just goes and I'm back happy.

I'm not untidy at all- I have a way for everything and it annoys me if it's not right. I'm also never late- it really stresses me out

I don't know if I'm just the way I am or if it is some adhd traits?

Yes you can have mild version of ADHD that doesn't require medication.