Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Adult adhd experiences please?

65 replies

RooksAndRavens · 03/10/2022 23:12

We're awaiting an appointment for our son to be assessed for adhd.

My husband and I have both wondered about ourselves having adhd too. We both tick the boxes.

So for me, I'm chaotic and disorganised. I'm always late for everything. I get overwhelmed in places like supermarkets. I can be very restless and anxious. My concentration is very up and down.

Experiences of adhd in adults would be great? Thank you.

OP posts:
maddy68 · 19/02/2023 11:06

I have undiagnosed ADHD. My children were both diagnosed. I never felt it served me any purpose to get a label. I know what it is.

I am also finding as I'm getting older it's becoming much worse (combined with menopause!)

I need a hand written calender with everything I need to written on. Otherwise I will never get to appointments.

I have found I need routines. Everything needs to be organised the night before otherwise I'm late, can't find what I need or forget things

Jetband · 23/05/2023 19:59

I don't see why not!

Jetband · 23/05/2023 20:15

CheeseSquared · 19/02/2023 10:32

I'd love to know if being medicated has helped with bing eating/eating in general. I'm v overweight and I go in circles as to cause and effect.

For me, yes, hugely. Binge disorder melted away within a few days of starting treatment. It is truly miraculous to be free of it. From what I've read though, the meds only work if you do definately have ADHD (can't keep track of the message structure here, so pls forgive if you aleardy confirmed this).

Jetband · 23/05/2023 20:18

FfaCoffi · 18/02/2023 09:01

They didn't tell me zero booze when they gave me the prescription, should they have done?

And also, the doctor said I didn't need to take them every day, that some people take them on work days, and not on weekends, for example, as it's a short acting drug - it works while it's it's in your system them stops, totally different from antidepressants, for example, where you need to take them for a period of time and the effects build up. ADHD meds aren't like that.

So, presumably even if you can't drink while on them, you could always choose not to take the meds for a day if you wanted to have a drink?

Given how much fuss they made about it with me, I'd have thought so, yes. Can't see any problem with doing it on a day off though. What does the info inside the packet say?

DorritLittle · 23/05/2023 21:39

Whatafool123 · 05/01/2023 00:50

I'm pretty sure I have it. I did well at school and ok at university, mainly because I was on a structured course, but all essays, revision etc was last minute (albeit I wasn't alone there!)

It has affected my career. I am a lawyer but had to take a sideways step after about 10 years as I was always struggling with the consequences of my procrastination and couldn't cope any more. Doing OK now at work though mostly.

Home is a different story though and I have really noticed that since having a second child late so that has also coincided with peri-menopause, my strategies for coping have fallen apart.

The house is a disaster zone and I just can't seem to do anything about it, largely because I also seem to hoard too. I have to tackle it soon though as it is affecting the kids in terms of having friends over now.

Getting a diagnosis is impossible. I did try before lockdown, but they wanted to rule out the effects of hypothyroidism and menopause and I have kind of given up now. Just trying to use organisational strategies recommended by ADHDers on the net.

Interestingly, I know two other lawyers who are diagnosed. It does seem to be fairly prevalent in a profession where you wouldn't necessarily expect it, given the nature of the work.

@Whatafool123 I am not a lawyer but what you have said resonates with me about procrastination and work, and your house. My son is now almost 10 and I am still wading through all the clutter I have amassed trying desperately to put in systems that work. I did well at school but not university, I think, because there weren’t many teaching hours. Since university, where I felt completely out of control, I haven’t ever been out of work as I like having the structure of working.

Jetband · 27/05/2023 00:08

BrutusMcDogface · 05/01/2023 00:24

Can an adult be diagnosed even if they were successful as a child? I was tidy and top of the class until I hit about 14. It was all downhill from then, and now I’m a complete disaster.

YES, definitely. It’s recognised that people can develop coping mechanisms that disguise the problem, then eventually some additional challenge in life proves to be more than the coping mechanisms can handle. Of course it isn’t always ADHD, but if it is, it can be diagnosed any time. I know a 75 year old who just got a diagnosis and is finally getting help. Never too late IMHO.

bladebladebla1 · 28/05/2023 07:19

@NippyWoowoo I've finally started to watch films but i end up googling to the end as my impatience wants to know the outcome after, say 15 mins

3ofus3 · 28/05/2023 07:49

ContSalw · 04/10/2022 15:57

I have the symptoms already mentioned.

I'm recently diagnosed, at 42. It makes sense now, as I've always struggled. The lack of filter, and incessant talking. And I hadn't realised until I got the report, that the over thinking is a huge part of it for me.

Apparently it can worsen with the menopause. I'm perimenopausal and this is true for me. I haven't been able to do a "proper" job for a few years after burning out. And now am failing miserably at my current new job.

I paid for a private diagnosis and am waiting for meds to start. Am hoping for a miracle!

How did the meds work out for you?

delilabell · 28/05/2023 07:57

You know when drs say "what would be the benefit of just getting a label?" What do I answer?

junebirthdaygirl · 28/05/2023 08:29

delilabell · 28/05/2023 07:57

You know when drs say "what would be the benefit of just getting a label?" What do I answer?

The meds will help me hopefully! And also l will know what l am dealing with. And it's helpful to know for my dc so l can keep an eye on them..
My adult ds has a diagnosis of ADHD and very possibly my dh ..not diagnosed. Ds was only diagnosed at 30.
Ds struggles mostly with that constant noise in his head and the meds which he only started recently calm that down. He is very creative but works best on his own as has his own way of solving problems which don't always work alongside other people. He also has dyslexia so this contributes to coming at a problem from a completely different angle.
He is extremely impulsive about money and always has been since childhood. He cannot make longterm plans around saving as the fact the money is there mewhere means he keeps coming up with ideas of how to spend it NOW.
A lot of his issues in school were thought to be around his dyslexia so he missed out on an earlier diagnosis but says he always knew there was something else going on.

NippyWoowoo · 28/05/2023 09:49

delilabell · 28/05/2023 07:57

You know when drs say "what would be the benefit of just getting a label?" What do I answer?

‘Everyone labels me regardless. Except instead of lazy, scatty, or ‘hot mess’, I can say ‘I have ADHD’. That label engenders empathy, kindness and understanding. The other labels are hurtful and unhelpful’.

also, the label gives YOU and understanding of yourself and helps you be more accepting of yourself. That’s the most important thing.

highlandspooce · 28/05/2023 09:59

delilabell · 28/05/2023 07:57

You know when drs say "what would be the benefit of just getting a label?" What do I answer?

If the professional you are seeking help from asks you this you need to find someone else.

ContSalw · 28/05/2023 11:14

@3ofus3 The meds have been life changing. The immediate effect was the reduction in brain chatter and over thinking.

Less over thinking means has meant less anxiety and worry. I've also had more focus, and have been able to keep on track at work.

It's taking a while, but as time is going on I've been able to set up systems to be more organised at home.

Since January I've managed to declutter 4 transit vans of things I don't need. Ive been able to have a tidier/cleaner house and keep it that way. Meal planning, general organising is improved.

Financially I'm much better off, even with paying out for medication. I've managed to save, and make sure I'm sticking to the budget Ive set for myself.

My relationship with teenagers is improved- I am less reactive to the nasty comments, and can regulate my emotions. I've had lots of stress and have managed to not get overwhelmed and need time off work.

It's taken a while, and I'm making sure I'm not trying to make too many changes at once. So it's slow but steady improvement.

I'm still missing some appointments, forgetting stuff, etc etc. I'm still me, I'm still talking lots and no filter. But I'm happier and more in control of everything.

Jetband · 28/05/2023 13:21

delilabell · 28/05/2023 07:57

You know when drs say "what would be the benefit of just getting a label?" What do I answer?

  • I’m not interested in a label. I’m interested in a solution.
  • Others with ADHD have told me ADHD treatment can be life changing - IF you have ADHD…
  • …and IF I do, why would I not try a well-proven and effective treatment?
3ofus3 · 01/06/2023 16:23

ContSalw · 28/05/2023 11:14

@3ofus3 The meds have been life changing. The immediate effect was the reduction in brain chatter and over thinking.

Less over thinking means has meant less anxiety and worry. I've also had more focus, and have been able to keep on track at work.

It's taking a while, but as time is going on I've been able to set up systems to be more organised at home.

Since January I've managed to declutter 4 transit vans of things I don't need. Ive been able to have a tidier/cleaner house and keep it that way. Meal planning, general organising is improved.

Financially I'm much better off, even with paying out for medication. I've managed to save, and make sure I'm sticking to the budget Ive set for myself.

My relationship with teenagers is improved- I am less reactive to the nasty comments, and can regulate my emotions. I've had lots of stress and have managed to not get overwhelmed and need time off work.

It's taken a while, and I'm making sure I'm not trying to make too many changes at once. So it's slow but steady improvement.

I'm still missing some appointments, forgetting stuff, etc etc. I'm still me, I'm still talking lots and no filter. But I'm happier and more in control of everything.

Wow. I'm so happy for you lovely.
I am hoping that if I have the diagnoses they can offer me medication to take the edge off. I have really been struggling at work at the moment.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page