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Original poster

I’m hoping for a home birth - what do I need to know?

60 replies

Hopingforhomebirth · 02/10/2022 19:10

Hi all,

I’m pregnant with baby number two. I’m in the very early experiences of considering a home birth. I had a straight forward vaginal birth with my first baby.

I was hoping that women with experience of this would consider sharing with me their experiences and anything at all that might be helpful in informing my decision whether or not to have one.

If you did have a home birth, would you do it again? Is there anything you’d do differently? What are the must haves/ dos for the best possible experience?

Thank you so much

OP posts:
CatGrins · 02/10/2022 19:20

It's not as messy as you'd imagine and what little there is will be dealt with by the lovely midwives.

I had an old double duvet and used it folded on the floor to kneel on and gave birth in that position.

You will still need childcare for your dc1 plus bags packed and a plan in place in case you need to go to hospital.

CatGrins · 02/10/2022 19:22

I had all of mine at home but money are teens now so some things will be out of date. Still unbelievably the right decision for me and the children love hearing about their birth stories and we live in the house where they were born.

Original poster
Hopingforhomebirth · 02/10/2022 19:22

CatGrins · 02/10/2022 19:20

It's not as messy as you'd imagine and what little there is will be dealt with by the lovely midwives.

I had an old double duvet and used it folded on the floor to kneel on and gave birth in that position.

You will still need childcare for your dc1 plus bags packed and a plan in place in case you need to go to hospital.

@CatGrins thank you. Would you consider your home birth experience to have been a positive one?

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

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3rd trimester Childbirth Families General pregnancy
Original poster
Hopingforhomebirth · 02/10/2022 19:24

CatGrins · 02/10/2022 19:22

I had all of mine at home but money are teens now so some things will be out of date. Still unbelievably the right decision for me and the children love hearing about their birth stories and we live in the house where they were born.

@CatGrins sorry crossed posts! So lovely

OP posts:
cloverleafy · 02/10/2022 19:24

I had babies 1 and 3 at home. Fab experiences and would recommend it to anyone.

I loved having a pool. I appreciated the midwives being fairly hands off. Getting straight into your own bed is heavenly. The mess wasn't too bad at all.

WildForTheNight · 02/10/2022 19:26

Ex midwife here- love a homebirth!

I'd suggest getting a really cheap shower curtain and putting it down wherever you're thinking you'd like to be. That way, if there is any mess it can all be scooped up and chucked.

Towels are also great- not only for you and baby to snuggle under for skin to skin, but also helpful if you're in and out of a pool, or get the post birth shakes or for wrapping up in after your shower/bath. There are also several biomechanic for birth things your birth partner or midwife can use a towel for if needed during labour (have a quick YouTube).

There are lots of lovely 'nest' or birth place prep things you can do, like lights, affirmations, aromatherapy, music but you'd be surprised at how little you actually need on the day. Good luck!

grosgirl · 02/10/2022 19:28

This is such a great thread. I’m 37 weeks today and had my home visit in preparation for a home birth. I can’t wait!

SofiaAmes · 02/10/2022 19:30

Sorry to bring a touch of reality to this, but my ds might have died if I had had a home birth with him and I would certainly have died if I had had a home birth with my dd. That's not to say that the hospital births were good....they weren't, they were god awful with medical incompetence and filth galore, but I and my children are still alive.

Devo1818 · 02/10/2022 19:30

My home birth was the most beautiful, empowering experience of my life. I too had DC1 in hospital and it was straightforward. Having DC2 at home was the best thing - I would never have a baby in hospital now unless it was an emergency.

My tips - hire a birth pool. Check the connectors ASAP. You need lots of towels. Do a hypnobirthing course - online is fine. Afterwards, rest like you're in hospital. So easy to start carrying on as normal because you're at home, so stay in bed or on the sofa a couple of days.

Devo1818 · 02/10/2022 19:32

Oh one more thing - I delivered him myself in the water while the midwife stood back holding her coffee and watching. So wonderful and I can't wait to tell him the story when he's older. Do it!!

Recycledcurtains · 02/10/2022 19:32

I had a homebirth with my last baby. It was amazing. I was fully supported throughout. I had all ante and post natal appointments at home (which was a major bonus!).

I went to local charity shops and got loads of second hand sheets and towels. I had a water birth so hired a pool.

A few weeks before the birth I started to use an oil diffuser with my preferred oil daily, so I could feel relaxed in the space. I also had some affirmations etc printed and stuck to the walls.

I got a wheeled trolley thing from Amazon (like the ikea ones) and filled it with pads, nappies, witch hazel, a torch, some sweets. Everything for the birth and had it, towels and clothes for afterwards all in the room.

There is absolutely nothing I would do differently, it was perfect. I am absolutely delighted I was able to do it.

That being said, I was somewhat fearful in advance that I was putting my own desires over the safety of the baby. I did a lot of research to alay the fears, but of course there’s always the minor ‘what if’. Be prepared for this, as it seems, among those I’ve spoken to, to be the main reason to not proceed.

The midwife had called the ambulance service to let them know she was attending a homebirth so they were on ‘standby’.

I had a perfect, text book birth and my recovery has been smooth. I am very, very lucky.

Recycledcurtains · 02/10/2022 19:34

@Devo1818 me too! I delivered 3 out of 4 children myself! I have been the first person to touch all of my children (specified in my birth plan!) and I cut the cord for my last 2 babies. Just perfect!

Such wonderful stories to tell!

Mamiamamia · 02/10/2022 19:37

I had babies 2&3 as planned home births (baby one was a ‘failed planned home birth, I was transferred into hospital) - the difference being I had doulas for the 2nd and 3rd pregnancies, but not the first. Get a doula, they are worth their weight in gold.

Clouddrifting · 02/10/2022 19:42

Hire a birth pool and start filling it early enough (easier to keep the temp up then to madly stay filling it later!)

I loved my home births, had 2 and 3 at home but still had a plan b that I was happy with should at any point in my antenatal appointments or during labour the decision be made with the midwives to go into hospital, which included childcare for the other children. Loved being in my own space, especially once they were born and then could just stay still with the peace of being home which gives you a better chance at breastfeeding too.

Kindofcrunchy · 02/10/2022 19:48

Mamiamamia · 02/10/2022 19:37

I had babies 2&3 as planned home births (baby one was a ‘failed planned home birth, I was transferred into hospital) - the difference being I had doulas for the 2nd and 3rd pregnancies, but not the first. Get a doula, they are worth their weight in gold.

Can I ask how you found your doula and what they did for you? I want a home birth this time round but there don't seem to be many people who cover my area. Thank you x

Cynderella · 02/10/2022 19:49

Babies born at home eons ago. Hints ...

  • the shower curtain under the sheet works although you can probably buy something less 'rustly' now
  • decide in advance who you want visiting and get a guard on the door for the first couple of days
  • I had to fight for home births, so I became an expert. At the time, home births were MUCH safer than hospital. I would expect that to still be true, so surround yourself with positive people.
  • Plan for child #1 if it's a night birth. Mine were up and involved - the midwives were very good and one amused son #1 while #2 was being born, as that one was very quick and easy. Next time, they almost missed it because they were watching a Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles video (the kids, not the midwives) and the last one passed them by as they took advantage of extra X Box time.

Never regretted it.

HeadNorth · 02/10/2022 19:54

I’ve had 2 home births - both lovely experiences. You have one dedicated midwife for the labour and 2 for delivery. In my case that made it much safer than my local hospital, which only has a midwife unit - if any intervention was needed I’d have needed an ambulance to the nearest city hospital anyway.

The midwife’s are wonderful, take all mess away with them. I could have a natural 3rd stage (delivery of placenta) then cuddle down in my own bed. I highly recommend.

MolliciousIntent · 02/10/2022 19:58

Triple check you're able to have a home birth in your trust at the moment - round us all the home births have been cancelled and reassigned to the MLU because the ambulance service is just not reliable enough right now.

Stopdropnroll · 02/10/2022 19:59

SofiaAmes · 02/10/2022 19:30

Sorry to bring a touch of reality to this, but my ds might have died if I had had a home birth with him and I would certainly have died if I had had a home birth with my dd. That's not to say that the hospital births were good....they weren't, they were god awful with medical incompetence and filth galore, but I and my children are still alive.

Sorry about your difficult births but you clearly don't understand home births, people aren't staying at home and ignoring medical advice. Firstly they only allow a home birth if you are low rishpk and you are constantly monitored and during this process is anything isn't 100% text book you go into hospital.

I had my first birth at homeand it was amazing. Second time baby had other ideas and as there was meconium in my waters when they went I had to go into hospital. Even if this hadn't happened then as there were concerns about her pulse then we'd have had to go in anyway. Seriously they only let you stay at home if everything is 100% OK. Plus they have contingency plans for every eventuality.

OP I'd definitely hire a pool it was so good for the pain so much so I didn't use the gas and Air. I gave birth in the pool so any mess was contain there but as others have mentioned I had a cheap shower curtain at the ready too which in the end got used on the sofa while they stitched me up. In the end there was about one washing load of towels to wash but that was partly because I kept getting in and out of the pool so used a load.

CatGrins · 02/10/2022 20:06

SofiaAmes · 02/10/2022 19:30

Sorry to bring a touch of reality to this, but my ds might have died if I had had a home birth with him and I would certainly have died if I had had a home birth with my dd. That's not to say that the hospital births were good....they weren't, they were god awful with medical incompetence and filth galore, but I and my children are still alive.

You can't compare and actually I get really cross about people who had terrible hospital births coming along to tell those who are considering home birth that they might lose their babies.

Every birth is risky to a degree, but home births are statically very safe. You had a hospital birth which did not go well, and for that I am sorry, but stop scaremongering. It's not fair and quite frankly it's pretty terrible of you to do so.

There are many things that go wrong in hospital, some births will be solely due to the fact that you are in hospital!

Stevie6 · 02/10/2022 20:24

I had an unplanned home birth for my youngest and it was great, I had the paramedics there and the midwife got there just in time. So nice to be able to get in my own bath afterwards. Will add as it was unplanned obviously we were totally unprepared and I did then replace the carpet 😂

SofiaAmes · 02/10/2022 20:27

@CatGrins You can get as cross as you'd like with me since we are strangers to each other, but I am educated and researched enough to know that my births didn't go wrong because they happened in hospital. They were "statistical" anomalies that happened to me and it's insulting to the OP and me for you to insist on protecting her from people telling their adverse child birth stories as if they don't exist. Statistics are just that and it doesn't mean that home births are totally safe. In fact, my dd's birth was performed by a midwife on a natural birth floor with all the accoutrements that one might have gotten at home, but with the surgeons and a surgical room right next door to save my life.

I wish that the women (and medical professionals) around me had been truthful with me about the possibilities of what could go wrong and statistics that were relevant to me (given my age) and the full array of options for child birth and they might have saved both me and my dc's some pain and physical damage (which we are dealing with to this day).

Northbynorthbreast · 02/10/2022 20:36

I’d say be open. Birth is chaotic and unpredictable. It’s wonderful if your plan goes as you hoped, but being too attached to it can leave you feeling like you ‘failed’. I planned s home birth but at 42 weeks little fella was still not interested in heading into world and that was cut off point for home birthing here. In hospital he got stuck asynclitic and would never have emerged naturally. I felt so sad about bad about it after c section etc. will def try for home north if I ever have another child but will also be more realistic with myself that I just can’t control it!

Poppins2016 · 02/10/2022 20:38

I gave birth at home with my second baby and I loved it. I would do it again if I had a third. I'll second the recommendations for a pool and hypnobirthing.

A community midwife recommended the book Why Home Birth Matters which I read before making my decision to switch to the home birth team.

Brief synopsis:

In the 21st century, women are supposed to have a choice about where they give birth. But when that choice is home, women often encounter obstacles, despite robust evidence that birth at home is safe, beneficial and should be available for women who want it.

Why Home Birth Matters is a clear discussion of the reality of modern home birth, which aims to show how the home environment supports and powers the birth process, while encouraging parents to consider how it might work for them.

CornishTiger · 02/10/2022 20:40

Hi I had a home birth. I was high risk due to my BMI. I had already birthed two children without complication. I was only offered consultant led hospital birth which after my first hospital experience terrified me ( lack of care/borderline negligence/luckily all ok) and they refused me MLU on my 3rd despite having birthed their previously which was my actually preference. So I home birthed. Out of all my births I preferred MLU.

Firstly if you are going to do a pool make sure your boiler in your to it hot water wise. You will need top ups to keep it at right temp.

Check the connector to the tap ASAP. We had a mixer tap and hunted for ages for a hozelock one.

Be aware you might not labour fully whilst others children around. It can stall it for some women. As soon as mine left to go to my friend boom it ramped up.

Ambulance transfer times. I’m honestly not sure if I’d home birth here with current crisis. I need have an ambulance post birth as I had an injection as just wanted placenta out. Big mistake. Blood pressure went sky high and they wanted me in for urgent review by consultant. As it was I was seen by one midwife running a whole ward- she was rushed off feet and waited hours. After about 7 hrs of nothing I discharged myself. My blood pressure was fine by then.

Be careful who you tell. Everyone has a horror story or opinion. Research wisely but not blindly.