I’m hoping for a home birth - what do I need to know?

[Hopingforhomebirth]

Hi all,

I’m pregnant with baby number two. I’m in the very early experiences of considering a home birth. I had a straight forward vaginal birth with my first baby.

I was hoping that women with experience of this would consider sharing with me their experiences and anything at all that might be helpful in informing my decision whether or not to have one.

If you did have a home birth, would you do it again? Is there anything you’d do differently? What are the must haves/ dos for the best possible experience?

Thank you so much

How close are you to the hospital if you need to get there in an emergency??

just my friend waited a long time for an ambulance when she had a complication and then when she got there it was a very serious situation.

I am so glad I had a home birth for my second as otherwise pretty sure it would have been a car birth! It was so quick and stress free and was lovely to snuggle up in my own bed afterwards.

It's not about protecting the OP from things that might go wrong, she will be well aware, and her midwives will know her pregnancy and birth history better than you or me. It's about you deciding to come on to a thread where the OP has asked about home birth experience, or which you have none, and telling her that she is at risk of making a decision that might cause her to lose her child.

Home births aren't without medical care, they aren't throwing caution to the wind and doing it at all costs. They are carefully planned, highly monitored (far more than in hospital) and very low risk.

I've met people like you in real life, those who have had terrible hospital births whi decide that home births are the worst thing you could possibly do to your child, how could we be so irresponsible blah blah blah. Like i said I find it difficult to read, a mother trying to scare another in to making a decision that you know nothing about.

The reason I preferred MLU ( 30 mins from main hospital) was because I felt safe and cared for. My partner could be my partner - not distracted by keeping pool warm, heating, etc.

I knew they had the newborn resuscitation unit and access to extra staff extra if needed.

I was able to leave the cleaning and tidying to them and bond with my baby and partner. I was tucking into a roast about an hour later and they fed my partner.

I also wanted to stay overnight at the MLU for breastfeeding support. At home it wasn’t as great

I couldn’t be more grateful for these replies, thank you. There are some I’d love to hear more about so I’ll reply individually after I’ve had a good read through them all

And to counteract that charming "touch of reality" - my dd wouldn't have made it if I hadn't been having a home birth - the fact that I had a midwife pop in and check on me rather than me being labouring at home until contractions were closer together was what saved her life. Birth can go wrong wherever it happens - I'm sure OP knows that and doesn't need the horror stories.

Be careful who you tell. Everyone has a horror story or opinion. Research wisely but not blindly.

This is possibly the best bit of advice you'll read on this thread.

Almost every time I mentioned home birth to someone they recoiled/regaled me with a horrific birth story (if not them, then a friend of a friend)/told me I was brave/mad/etc. I soon learnt not to mention it to anyone!

And yes to research. Weigh up your options and be confident with whatever decision you make.

Oh and I should add. Everyone is surprised when I say I preferred the MLU to the home birth.

Home birth is held up as the thing to strive for. I don’t regret it. At the time I told everyone how fab it was but years on I’ve reflected more. The consultants words didn’t help me feel as safe as I should have too. He was trying to scare me though into hospital based on the “risks” which I asked him to call chances or probability as actually when you look at the figures I was barely at anymore increased likelihood than anyone else of shoulder dystocia etc.

Birth affirmations might sound frilly but really help. Stick them up where you'll see them and go over them loads. Afterwards stick tiny sticker dots up around the house as a visual reminder to do your pelvic floors!

I had my 2nd at home and it was the most amazing birth experience.
It was so much more relaxed. I had my partner, mil and daughter there but I could take myself away to my room and concentrate on contractions.
I then came down and got in the pool and not long after baby was born.
I would recommend to anyone who is able to, to do it. My midwife was amazing which probably helped.

I had a fantastic home water birth with DC2. It was amazing. The hospital birth I had with DC1 was understaffed, incompetent and resulted in a formal apology.

One of the most brilliant things is 121 care. I labour quite fast, so the MW came an hour or so after I first called, hung around a bit to see if things were progressing and then stayed. But she really just sat at the dining table and did her notes until the 2nd MW turned up at the end. She also stayed to make sure I was showered and comfy and held the baby while we introduced DC1. Far cry from the hospital birth where they just left me covered in goo and a bloody sheet.

I'm very un-woo (no hypnobirthing or affirmations) and loved a book called Birth Skills, which is based on physical management of your own labour, so techniques for pacing, thumping the pillows etc. Our trust provide gas and air at home but nothing else, so you need to be happy with that level of pain relief.

Do put your pool up a few weeks before your Due Date so you can see how long it takes to fill and practice emptying it. Try also to have a small plastic mirror the MWs can use if they need it.

It felt very powerful to be in an almost all-female environment- I really felt DH was tangential because I didn't need an advocate. He made tea and kept out of the way. It almost made me want another child! Also we got all the delayed clamping (DC had their first feed while still attached), I got a good look at the placenta etc.

And getting into your own bed with a takeaway? Bliss.

I had my second baby at home last week!

Echoing what others have said here - hire a pool, stock up on towels, think about things you love that will help build your oxytocin - your fave music (George Ezra for me!), snacks/drinks to give you energy (Jaffa cakes and lucozade!), any essential oils/candles to help you relax.

I gave birth in the pool and it was amazing to lift baby up out the water myself 😊 and so nice to be at home straight after.

I was under the home birth team for my whole pregnancy and had the same midwife for all my appointments. She attended my birth with her colleagues so it was good to have a familiar face

Absolutely do it. 😌 Get heaps of towels!

They were never safer. That study decided to disregard anyone who had transferred to hospital before delivering in it’s stats.

it’s similar safety stars to hospital births in the Netherlands. But obviously only lower risk women give birth at home.

I had a lovely planned home birth with DC2 18 years ago. We lived in a town near a hospital which made the choice easier. 2 midwives came and nattered and joked, sent my husband to bed "we'll be needing you later on" and ate a whole box of biscuits and drank loads of tea. I walked up and down the stairs to get things moving and had gas and air. It was seriously so healing after a very difficult hospital birth with my first. The midwives will never know the impact they had, they were tremendous - I hardly noticed their tests and observations. Good luck with whatever you choose.

I had 2 babies in hospital with fast labours and both times experiencing the fetal ejaculation reflex.

I had a homebirth with number 3 as I nearly didn’t make it to hospital on time with number 2.

baby number 3 was in position weeks in advance. I was very low risk and a good candidate for homebirth.

established labour for my homebirth was less than 20minutes, midwives weren’t sure until Labour started properly and thought my gut instinct was wrong.

i did have the fetal ejaculation reflex and baby expelled without issue and at speed in one massive contraction.

I too had birth on my knees and used a shower curtain. I couldn’t think of anything worse than having a pool of manky birth water to dispose off sat in my lounge. But each to their own!

I would only ever have a child in hospital if it was not safe to do so at home or if home births were cancelled. I had one hospital labour, a home birth then a birth in an MLU unit during covid under the care Of the home birth team. My biggest fear with the third was we live a long way from the hospital and I laboured quickly second time but I made it to hospital and have birth to her about 30 mins later.

With my second and third I gave birth in the water - I don't know how I could have coped any other way.

I'll also add I didn't have a pool of manky bath water to dispose of. Where we are they homebirth team do all that for you.

Ah both of mine were born at home - best experiences of my life.

I had a pool both times. I don't remember needing loads of towels but it was 10+ years ago so might just be forgetting stuff.

As PP have said I was the first person to touch both my boys and basically delivered them myself.

It was so lovely to get into my own bed with my baby afterwards.

I live 10 minutes from the hospital.

The other thing I'd say is consider how your partner is likely to be. My DH is very good at dealing with 'medical' stuff and people who are in pain etc I knew he'd be great and he was (including calmly googling how to deliver a baby when DS 2 was pretty much crowning and the midwife wasn't there yet 😬 - she made it before he was born!!).

Good luck 🙂

My home birth with DD3 was fantastic.

I didn't use a pool because I hated it when I tried in the MLU with DD2.

Having two dedicated midwives is lovely.

DD3 was born at 4am (ish) and not having to worry about child care for the other two was great (my labours only lasted a few hours each, which is why I went for a home birth).

Hints:

• work out which room will be most comfortable for you. Would you prefer your bedroom, to move between rooms, the lounge, etc?
• make sure your house is obvious! The community midwife who'd done my care while I was pregnant was on holiday when DD3 was born so I had new midwives there for the delivery. We put a sign on the gate so they were certain they had the right house. They found it very helpful in the wee small hours.
• talk to your husband about what you'll need after the birth. Do you want tea and toast? A shower? It's good if that's ready to go so you don't have to worry about anything.
• have the baby's sleep area set up in advance.
• prepare a place where the midwives can do the standard baby checks. I gave birth in our bedroom, and we had a blanket box in there. We put a couple of towels on it and covered it with a clean soft sheet so it was a comfortable place for the baby to lie while measurements and checks were done.
• be prepared in case you need to go into the hospital. Things can change quickly.

All the best. I absolutely loved my home birth, it was the most relaxed, and I felt really in control of things. I hope you find the same.

for a 2nd birth, homebirth is statistically safer than hospital

I had a planned home birth with my second. I hadn’t really considered it to be honest, but it was actually my midwife who suggested it. I lived in an area where home births were encouraged and supported by many of the midwives and there was a home birth team.
I joined a local home birth support group who provided useful hints and tips. I also hired a pool as I wanted a water birth. I did a hypnobirthing course which was excellent. I made sure I practised all the relaxation exercises so I was really familiar with them for the birth.
I personally had a very positive experience; two qualified midwives in attendance and a student so felt very well looked after. I had a very straight forward birth with no complications/tearing.

I should preface this and say this was pre-Covid. All my labours have been relatively short, so that also contributed to my decision to have a home birth.

I can totally see the upsides to a home birth. It must be a really empowering experience.

But what happens if you need an ambulance ? I would think very carefully about this at the moment.

I totally ruined the carpet despite having a shower curtain and duvets down. Def put a bit of thought into where you are going to give birth and how you are going to protect it.

Just for context a little bit more about my situation -

I’m 31, no underlying health conditions. I had my first baby in a midwife led unit, 3 years ago. My first labour was 15 hours. I suffered a grade 2 tear. Recovery was straightforward.

I had a positive birth experience but hated having to leave home to go into hospital by car. I also wanted nothing more than to be at home as soon as I had given birth.

I used a combination of Hypnobirthing and gas and air. I did find the last couple hours very very painful.

We live approximately 10 minutes from our local hospital.

My area is very pro home birth and my midwife is actively mine.

Oh, and we have hard wood flooring, no carpet!! 😁