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Original poster

A guy I was seeing said he will only meet me for sex now

68 replies

Andjustlikethatihadnoclue · 01/10/2022 19:26

So we had a thing for about 6 weeks, it started amazing and we both seemed to feel the same, really excited and just that instant click & spark.

I went on holiday and he stopped replying to messages. Did t even open my last 2 messages. 2 weeks I heard nothing!

I had to message yesterday as I realised he had something of mine which I needed back. He said that's fine and I could pick it up whenever and if I want sex then to let him know!!
I said I didn't think he was interested and his reply was 'for sex yes, but that's it'

Fucks sake how cheep can one person make me feel in a split second!

OP posts:

AnneKipankitoo · 01/10/2022 21:33

Can he post it to you ?

inheritanceshiteagain · 01/10/2022 21:38

Dodged that bullet.

Noteverybodylives · 01/10/2022 21:45

This says more about him than you tbh.

Just get the earring back asap and then block.

He may not respect you, but you can respect yourself.

Birdie002 · 01/10/2022 21:48

You are not cheap!

He sounds cheap and disgusting. At least you know where he stands and you didn't want a second longer with him.

TokyoTen · 01/10/2022 21:56

Block. Mive on. Be pleased you found out quickly. He's a twat.

nuttynotty · 01/10/2022 22:05

"He sounds awful, it wouldn't surprise me if this is a pattern of behaviour, act like it's the start of a relationship, ghost and then try to set up an friends with benefit situation."

Yes I've had one of those, looking back it was obvious, but at the time I hadn't a clue.

TheTeddyBears · 01/10/2022 22:11

Bastard!

urbanbuddha · 01/10/2022 22:22

Can you take an imposing male like your brother or friend's boyfriend to wait on the doorstep with you while he fetches your earring. Men like this generally don't like decent men knowing how low they are.

Pineappleflowers · 01/10/2022 22:34

That was a deliberately cruel message to send. Sounds like he’s a bit of a sadist and enjoying messing you about. Be very careful OP, I’d be amazed if he simply gives you the earring on the doorstep, he’s going to try to mess with your head.

AcrossthePond55 · 01/10/2022 22:38

You were only seeing him for 6 weeks. That's just about enough time to decide if one wants to pursue things further. The ghosting was wrong though. He should have been honest with you instead of ghosting you.

So it sounds like he just wants a FWB situation with you. Nothing wrong with that, it's not a reflection on you or even necessarily on him. It's not something you're interested in and there's nothing wrong with you wanting more, either. The two of you are just incompatible.

It could be that at first he thought there was 'something' there, but has now decided that you aren't 'right' for him as far as a long term relationship goes and that's his privilege. As it would have been your privilege if you'd decided he didn't fit your requirements. At least he was honest. Many women have been led down the garden path for months (or years) by men who simply wanted sex and felt it was fine to lead a woman on to get it.

I'd simply say "I'm going to be passing through your area on <insert day> and will drop by to pick up my earring round <insert time>". It lets him know that you aren't traveling specifically to see him and that you don't plan on staying. Get your earring (preferably on the doorstep) and leave as you have 'somewhere to be'. If he asks if you want to stay for sex, simply say "Not interested" rather than make some snarky comment. It lets him know what you think and perhaps will cause him to think about the way he behaved. If you make a snarky comment he'll just think "What a bitch" and feel like he dodged a bullet.

Thepossibility · 01/10/2022 22:52

Rock up and get the earring looking amazing. Once you have it tell him you're off on your date now. Block.

RandomMess · 01/10/2022 22:53

I would be striving him on a bit and get your earring back before telling him you would never touch him with a barge pole!

sjxoxo · 01/10/2022 22:57

Wow what a catch!!! You’ve had a lucky escape. Is he mega good looking or a billionaire? If neither he’s in for a fun life 😂😂😂 what an absolute twat. He sounds about 19!!!! x

sjxoxo · 01/10/2022 22:58

Get someone else to collect the earring whilst you wait in the car. Preferably another bloke!! x

BocolateChiscuits · 01/10/2022 23:08

Be vague until the ear ring is safely I your hands. I'd he asks for sex, just tell him the truth 'no thank you, I don't want to because I don't think you're a very nice person', turn heel and waltz off, block - whatever you do, don't engage with the fucker. Ear ring, one sentence of revenge, gone.

allboysherebutme · 01/10/2022 23:17

Get your earring back at the street door and don't go in under any circumstances, if he says do you not want to come in for sex tell him no sorry it was shite. X

flutterbyfly · 01/10/2022 23:23

For an earring, send a SAE, don't wind yourself up by meeting him for the "handover"

MsBombastic555 · 02/10/2022 00:06

C1N1C · 01/10/2022 20:54

At least he's honest...

He's not interested unless it's for sex. It might not be what you want to hear but wouldn't you prefer to know where you stand?

Could be worse... imagine if someone wasn't honest and they made you think they loved you when in reality it was because you had 80 houses and they got upset because you didn't spend lots on them...

Sure! If he'd said that at the start.

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