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Original poster

Does your husband do this when he’s planning to go out?

48 replies

Madagascary · 01/10/2022 17:20

So we all know when he wants to go to the pub in the evening, but he will never say during the day that these are his plans.

But we can spot all sorts of signs throughout the day. Showering later / again. Being weirdly chatty 😀😀

He will even deny he’s going to go to the pub but the rest of us know that he’s going to. Eventually he comes up with some premise whereby he might stop in for a pint and we all know yes we know that all day. Is this Just him?

(I really don’t mind if he does !)

OP posts:
ThePastafarian · 01/10/2022 17:23

No. He says "do you mind if I go out on X night with X person?" There's rarely a reason I would mind, but I appreciate him checking in.

Original poster
Madagascary · 01/10/2022 17:24

Lol. Sometimes mine does that too 😀

it’s just a quirk then. Atm we’ve got a sweep on in our ‘kids and mum ‘ chat that he will

OP posts:
Discovereads · 01/10/2022 17:25

No. My DH writes on the calendar days in advance when he’s meeting mates at the pub. Specific time and everything.

Why does your DH feel like he can’t just tell you openly but has to tip toe around and come up with excuses?

MolliciousIntent · 01/10/2022 17:27

I think it's really weird that you have a family chat group without him where you all dissect his behaviour. I'd be going to the pub without you lot too.

Noentrymeansnoentry · 01/10/2022 17:29

If he's having an extra shower during the day, is it definitely the pub he's going to?Are you sure he's not going to a woman's house?

SkirridHill · 01/10/2022 17:34

Ex used to do stuff like this, it would drive me mad. I would ask if he was going out, he'd say no. He would then busily continue to get ready to go out.

If I asked again was he sure he wasn't going out, he would turn it into an argument which would then result in him needing to leave to go to the pub because he didn't want to be stuck in the house with me. 😅

I'm sure your partner isn't a manipulative twat though! Why do you think he does it?

RoachTheHorse · 01/10/2022 17:37

Nope. Mine said "I might go out later, I've asked X". Then an hour later. "I'm definitely going out about 7" and there we go. All sorted.

Original poster
Madagascary · 01/10/2022 17:38

We don’t have the chat just to dissect. Was for when he wouldn’t be interested.

he’s def going to a pub.

OP posts:
Original poster
Madagascary · 01/10/2022 17:39

He’s gorgeous and we all love him! I don’t know but we like to tease him about it and he laughs along exasperatedly.

OP posts:
RaRaRaspoutine · 01/10/2022 17:52

Haha my dad does this! The increased chattiness etc. I can be a bit like this. It stops the “ooh where is it/who are you going with/are you cooking for yourself or eating there/are you taking a coat” questions (which are asked lovingly and out of habit!)

Harrystylestutu · 01/10/2022 17:55

My dad does this aswell! He does it throughout the day and me and my mum both know he's going to go to the pub. He's a terrible drinker though, won't bother at home but will get plastered in the pub.

CheezePleeze · 01/10/2022 17:58

If you really don't mind if he does, does he even know that?

It's weird and obviously sounds like he thinks you do mind.

Original poster
Madagascary · 01/10/2022 17:59

Ha ha. Well he’s not going out! We were convinced he was. So my whole theory shot. Tbh 2.5 hours of strictly I thought was a dead cert.

OP posts:
Original poster
Madagascary · 01/10/2022 18:00

CheezePleeze · 01/10/2022 17:58

If you really don't mind if he does, does he even know that?

It's weird and obviously sounds like he thinks you do mind.

I never mind. Kids are all adults and I go out lots too, we’ve been married for 89 years. It’s all cool.

OP posts:
Megapint · 01/10/2022 18:04

Nope, but what a weird game for you & your kids to play. Instead of waiting for the gotcha moment why don't you just ask him his plans for the evening?

Sagittarius25 · 01/10/2022 18:06

ThePastafarian · 01/10/2022 17:23

No. He says "do you mind if I go out on X night with X person?" There's rarely a reason I would mind, but I appreciate him checking in.

This. Always been this way. So much easier that we just clearly communicate with each other. Also if I know in advance he wants to go to the pub or wherever with friends, most of the time I will arrange seeing a friend or my mum for the same time.

Original poster
Madagascary · 01/10/2022 18:07

Megapint · 01/10/2022 18:04

Nope, but what a weird game for you & your kids to play. Instead of waiting for the gotcha moment why don't you just ask him his plans for the evening?

Good point. Tbh they don’t live here anymore. There’s just one visiting. We have had a little laugh at it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Madagascary · 01/10/2022 18:07

Oh I love being alone! Don’t feel the need to do something.
I think many of you have deliberately chosen to misunderstand the teasing nature of this

OP posts:
RichardsGear · 01/10/2022 18:10

Christ, so the OP is controlling, she and her children are borderline emotional abusers and he might well be having an affair.
I don't know why anyone bothers to start a thread on here, to be quite honest.

caringcarer · 01/10/2022 18:14

My dh tells me in advance if he going out to meet mates. It is not often but usually a Xmas work do it plus older friends Xmas meal.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 01/10/2022 18:18

DH will mention very loose plans, which involve waiting for a text from a friend or two. None of the group seem to know if they are actually going out until that evening.

I find it odd, I make plans in advance with my friends and we know for sure where we are going and what time 🤷🏼‍♀️

PuppyMonkey · 01/10/2022 18:23

Well it’s not even 6.30pm yet, there’s still time for him to change his mind.

HMSSophia · 01/10/2022 18:24

He's double bluffing. He'll nip out after five mins of strictly. "You don't mind do you, love?"

balalake · 01/10/2022 18:26

A man staying in to watch Strictly instead of going to the pub? Is he a Spurs fan wanting to see how bad Tony Adams is?

HailAdrian · 01/10/2022 18:29

Jesus, everyone here is so serious all the time. My mum would affectionately take the piss out of my dad too. They were married for 35 years until she died and had a lovely relationship.

Enjoy your night OP. :)

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