Anyone been to Korea before? I'm shocked by the well behaved DC

[cjick]

I still can't get over the well behaved DC!

They're so impeccably behaved. What's their secret? I didn't see any children acting up or be irritating (as my own DC do) with constant questions and talking. All very well mannered and quiet on public transport

I suppose school expectations are just different from a young age

South Korea is an amazing place to visit if anyone is interested

I think you’ll find parents expectations are higher and no expectation for schools to teach kids the basics.

I'd say that's very true.

Their education system is deeply flawed though, as is the work culture

Yes I've been to South Korea, absolutely amazing place

No idea if it's actually a thing generally, but the Korean families I know are very likely to wallop a child that steps out of line.

I agree with you . I went to Busan ., very polite people

I am sure I read a study that said they had the most unhappy children in the developed world. Also despite smacking being outlawed it is still very very common.

Off to South Korea shortly to visit my DS who lives out there - can't wait! Where should I visit? Booked a tour to the DMZ but not much else

Google tells me that it only got outlawed last year and it was still legal in schools 11 years ago. (Yes, I know we haven't got around to banning it in England yet, but it was banned in schools about 40 years ago).

I taught in a kindergarten in Seoul for 2 years. Yes, the whole culture there is based on good behaviour, not getting in other folks space, and working very very hard. My class of 3-4 year olds were very different to the equivalent here! If I were to generalise I'd say that the aim of most parents is for their child to be academically successful to the detriment of happiness, love, etc.
(Bribing teachers is also apparently acceptable.)

Not too long ago they brought in a law outlawing grinds/ tutoring after midnight as so many parents were having such intense tutoring for their children. Their main aim in life was their dc to gain entry to an American University
Also my niece taught there and described how a lot of the girls hated how thy looked and a lot of them were planning on having a nose job as soon as they could afford it or as a big birthday present from their family at 18.
So all is not perfect.

@Cruisebabe1 I've been to Busan, DH and I got lost in a shopping centre there, couldn't find the exit and no one understood what we were asking. It was the one with the fancy fountain that does a display every hour. I have never been so relieved to see daylight when we found a fire exit on to the street, we both had visions of being stuck in there forever

Sounds plausible
i can't say I particularly want my DC to be seen and not heard. It's a pretty joyless life for a kid.

Probably similar to when I was a child in the 60s and you would get a wallop when DF came home if you misbehaved when out.

DH was well behaved like that. Grew up with the belt.

I watched a documentary about beauty standards in Korea. It basically said that Korean people care very much about how they are perceived by others. Working hard at school and getting a good job is essential. Beauty standards are high and cosmetic surgery is very very common, a lot of teenagers get surgery as soon as they leave school.

Yes, regarding beauty standards! Very high rates of eating disorders and I had to get my friend to send me moisturiser from home as it was impossible to buy moisturiser without skin lighteners.
It is all about self-control to ridiculous degrees, starting from birth pretty much.
I never met a 3 year old who couldn't speak English, which tells you a lot about their attitude to education, the west, and child rearing!

It’s not uncommon to beat children there.

How could children not asking any questions ever be considered a good thing? Just sounds like very controlling parents to me.

Swiss children are extremely well behaved and no smacking there.

This is very enlightening when one already knows about the 4B movement over there. Those women are incredibly brave.

Well the culture is very much based on collectivism representing your family , honour and not individualistic like the west it's drilled in from birth. Going NC with family is unheard of in South Korea, they are expected to respect their parents. It's very academically pressured.

South Korea was my least favourite place I've ever visited - mostly the cruelty to animals (eg eating fish alive so as to feel them moving still when swallowed) influences how I feel about it.

Seoul also seemed to be a stopping off point for 60 year old plus Brits to adopt Cambodian orphans so not only did I witness animal cruelty, but also some pretty vile tourists.

Compliant, quiet children only make it more depressing in my mind, kids are meant to be curious, joyful, exuberant and playful.

This. There was a group of 3 Korean families where I went on holiday once. They had quite a few kids between them and it ruined my holiday watching them getting backhanded all round the pool every day. They had a baby with them I’d put at 12/13 months, and every time he fidgeted or made a noise during the evening dining/entertainment his mum would sort of put her hand round his face and dig her fingers into his cheeks really hard :/

Sounds miserable. I don’t think childhood should be quiet and constrained.

"What's their secret?"

They beat them into submission. Not always very secretly