Gangs in London

[ShouldIActNow]

I have two Ds’s age 11 who have just started secondary school in se London.
Where we live is rife with gang activity, there was a stabbing at the bottom of the flats we live in last week & there are boys smoking and drinking on the stairs regularly so we have to walk through them.

I’m not particularly concerned about that and not really scared for myself, however my sons have to go home by themselves and I am honestly terrified of them being groomed, robbed or worse by them.

The other day one boy was offering my son money and I know how to easy it is to then become involved.

So my issue now is, is it too late to move out of London as they are starting to settle down or am I being over dramatic?

All of our family and support system are in a 2 mile radius to us, their dad is round the corner although not really much help.

What do I do? It’s such a difficult decision to make on you’re own.

Also do any of you have any experience with this type of situation and what did you do about it?

Helpful.

Definitely move. too risky.

If you can op I would move

I live in the same area some of my sons friends have been approached by gangs to join they are young black boys my son hasn’t he is white. They also go to private school so the reason they are targeted isn’t to do with schools. My son has been approached to hand over his phone but someone thankfully intervened

Its become such a huge problem in parts of se London boys join for protection too not just because they want to be in a gang

I'm planning to move further out despite growing up myself in a then rougher part of London but I think it's different for boys, I know so many who were mugged. I know one friend who moved to another part of London & one who does pick ups. Agree sport/activities to keep them occupied is good.

I live in a leafy part of SW London where I don't worry about gangs or knife crime.

Where do you live?

I live in a leafy part of SW London where I don't worry about gangs or knife crime.

Actually this attitude pisses me off, particularly as plenty of those unconcerned in the leafy bubble parts often partake in activities directly linked to gangs. It also perpetuates the idea that any victims are involved & people are far too dismissive.

there isn’t anywhere in London that is immune to gang culture

certainly worse in some areas. leafy wealthy areas there is also very good business running for drugs so the gangs are certainly operating there

I too live in ‘leafy’ ‘safe’ SW London and there has been an uptick in knife crime here too. Arguably in one of the safest areas historically . The last stabbing in my postcode only about a month ago so I don’t think it’s safe to assume any London area is 100% safe.

OP Having grown up in the country myself (on a council estate mind!), I would recommend moving out to a smaller town or village. We’re expecting in jan and plan to leave before little one reaches school age.

I’d definitely move, it’s the same reason I wouldn’t live in any big city. Gang culture is real in every big city.

is definitely move to give my children a better chance.

there isn’t anywhere in London that is immune to gang culture

absolutely

There are risks everywhere, but from what you've said your boys are at a fairly high risk where you are of even just accidentally becoming caught up in something bad. I think I would try to move in your situation. Although, full disclosure, I do live in London with a teen boy. There is the odd stabbing in our local area, but gangs tend to be centred a couple of miles away, my son is white (so less of a target for police) and goes to a very strict state school which is really close to our house. Honestly though, we did think of moving and it is on my mind, mainly because of the strong likelihood that he will get mugged at some point.
Eleven is a great time to move - once they are in year 9/10 you can't move them because of GCSE's so if you have the opportunity, I'd jump at it.

I would move in a heartbeat. Is moving even an option for you? There's often a fair bit of movement in secondary in year 7&8 so there's still time to do it. Do you rent or own? What about work - could you relocate or would you need to commute?

Lots to think about but for a young black teenager in a rough part of London the risks are very real and if there's a chance of moving I'd do it now.

I would move out of London if you can.

We used to have local kids doing that in our building in East London and it took a while to stop the anti-social behaviour. In the end the housing association that owns the building put in place more secure entrance doors to deal with it.

We still often see people smoking (adults more than kids) outside the buildings though and I can't wait to leave the city...

If you can, move.

We also live in SE London and whilst DD is a toddler its fine, I want to be out before she goes to secondary school.

Def focus on after school activities to keep them busy!

Best of luck OP - its a dangerous time for young black boys.

I don’t know I can’t really see it from a white perspective, because it then turns into a lot more what ifs.

I do however know that being black anywhere is going to be hard on them, they will be targeted, they will be profiled and they will have to work twice as hard and be more aware of their surroundings than their white friends.

If I move I have to find somewhere, where they’re not going to be looked at or be the only black child in a class, it’s important to have people around them who are like them, it’s also important to me.

Moving is an option yes, but that would mean renting privately and for the time being going onto benefits.

I would definitely move, if it’s at all an option. So sorry you are living in this situation, it must be worrying. We’re moving from a town fairly near London to a village much further out, and one of the reasons is that the local area has seen a sharp increase in knife crime, including deaths of teens, and other gang-related crime and I’m really worried what it will be like here by the time my DS is school age.
It’s an awful situation and with sadiq khan seemingly doing f all and the bbc championing artists who glamorise knife and gun crime, I dread to think how bad it’s going to get.

I’m not sure I’d leave London with teenagers- countylines exist outside of London, less things for kids to do outside of London, less job opportunities, worse public transport. Also having mixed raced kids myself I don’t want my kids to feel alienated due to their race. I would discuss with your children and perhaps look for after school clubs etc- tracking to ensure they go home from school.

I take it you haven't seen the latest news about a kid stabbed in Huddersfield by kids? You shouldn't be so ignorant to believe knife crime is specific to just London.

Could you move within London so you don’t lose your support network. Whilst gang issues can occur anywhere they are more prevalent in some areas over others. It may be as straightforward as moving to a different postcode in some parts of London.

Move!

Don't wait or second guess yourself.

@ShouldIActNow thanks for explaining OP.

I think you've had great advice about encouraging sports and keeping a v close watch. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, it must be scary.

I’m not particularly concerned about that

Really? I'd be moving, pronto

OP I am from SE London, I have a 10 year old black son - my daughter is younger. We moved out of London 5 years ago, leaving all of our support system back home.

I don't worry about gang activity now, any 'gangs' round here are quite frankly laughable. However I worry so much more about racism and sometimes it is hard to weigh up if it would be better to move back home or not.

If you are moving away from risk of gang activity you will have to be out of London and out of any big city. It is very hard to find somewhere that meets that criteria and is also multi cultural. My son isn't the only black boy in his class, but there aren't many at all and we have had run ins since he was 7 with racist incidents at the school.

I work over time to build up my children's self esteem and to keep them proud of their culture and heritage. We make effort to meet with family and friends back in London when we can. I think, since we are still here, I would take this over a daily risk to my child's life.

It is such a shit decision to have to make - but yes, I would move if I was you and it was possible.

I would move. There's no way I would bring my kids up in that environment if there was an option to get out.

I would move and never look back

London is not the place IMO to bring up teens on an estate known for trouble

do it sooner than later OP before they get into a gang