How do women do this again and again?

[Amazinganatomy]

Currently 40 weeks +2.
I'll start by saying how happy and grateful I feel to be pregnant, and how excited I am for baby to arrive.

But how/why the living f**k do women do this more than once?
I understand every pregnancy is different, and it's only 9 months of your life versus the whole of your babies once they're born.
But still, how?
Between the sickness, bloating, sciatica, poor mental health (much better now thankfully) and my current constant companion, pelvic girdle pain, I really cannot imagine putting myself through all of this again some day.

I really really feel for people who live with pain everyday, it's bloody miserable 😔

I was fine before I became pregnant, now my body just feels broken.

You just forget I think.
I remember that I felt like crap, but can’t really recall exactly what the physical symptoms felt like if that makes sense?!
I had hyperemesis with my eldest and was hospitalised numerous times. I genuinely felt like I was dying for majority of the pregnancy. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. But then she was born, the symptoms disappeared….and I fell pregnant with DC2 just 8 months later. That time, the sickness wasn’t anywhere near as severe, but it was the constant tiredness that got me. The pregnancy fatigued, particularly in the first trimester, is brutal even when it’s your first baby. But it hits different when you’ve got already got a baby to take care of at the same time.
Then when DC3 set up camp in there, I figured that I’ve already done it twice, and nothing can be worse than my first pregnancy. It was probably the most most pleasant pregnancy of the 3. Probably because I’d just switched my brain off to the unpleasant symptoms. Didn’t have time to feel shit with 2 toddler wreaking havoc all over the gaff 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

I had a pregnancy like yours, swore I’d never do it again, and from the moment I ejected ds, I started craving another baby.

The hormones were wicked. I held out for ten months before getting pregnant again, hated every minute of it, struggled to parent my older baby. I swore I’d never do it again.

And then I gave birth and immediately wanted another. It took about 6 years for the extreme baby lust to fade and in all honesty I’d have had 6 more dc if dh wasn’t resolute. I actually hated him a bit for it and seriously contemplated leaving him for the chance of more dc.

Mother Nature is a bitch.

@MidnightAnnie Im so sorry you’ve had to deal with that. My sister had similar injuries rom birth that led to double incontinence at only 22, getting the problem resolved is not proving easy. Some women do have to deal with far worse than others.

I didn't have PGP but I had HG which thank god subsided after 22 weeks. Also had horrible heartburn and sometimes I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like I couldn't get a full lung of air and it was because the baby was taking up so much room. That would make me cry in frustration which would actually make it worse. Waking in the night because I couldn't breathe properly nobody told me about that

You forget how shit it is (mum of three who had sepsis in first pregnancy three times, three sections, urine bag in first pregnancy and two premature babies)

I loathed pregnancy. I felt awful, sickness lasted longer than most and had hip pain.
I did it 3times!
I also had difficult babies who didn't sleep at all, got ill, terrible wind/reflux and had tongue ties etc.
I think what it did teach me is that I'll survive, I'll manage, nothing lasts forever (although it feels it at the time!) so although I don't enjoy pregnancy at all I was mentally stronger for it on my 2nd and 3rd times.

When your baby gets to about 12/18 mths your brain erases all memory of the slog of pregnancy and the newborn stage.

You start thinking that what you want more than anything else in the world is another little baby.

It's game over then really.

In fact you feel you want another baby so bad that if your DH has a different view you seriously think about murdering him.

Thankfully my DH realised that my baby drive would not take no for an answer and agreed pretty sharpish. Despite having more reservations than me (largely because he was way more realistic than me about how hard it is to be pregnant and have a baby - all that stuff was as nothing to me in the face of The Urge!)

I don't know - I did it once and had twins, it was bloody awful - maybe it was worse for me because it was a twin pregnancy but either way - I haven't forgotten and they have just gone to Uni!

No pain without gain, sums it up I think.

The sheer brutality of the process - hopefully your beginning was idyllic - coupled with anxiety and trauma depending on how your body and mind cope - again, not a given - then you realise women are made and designed surprisingly badly for the process - for those interested culturally and anthropologically- apparently god decreed women should forever suffer in childbirth due to tempting Adam in the garden of Eden - make of that what you will!!

Unfortunately the pain and shock doesn’t end there.

Labour and birth is akin to the scene of an axe murder- if you haven’t got a midwife to clear up the bloody gore and faecal matter that is an accompaniment to the strain of opening your nether orifices under extreme and unknown pressure - by the way- just try and go with the flow- contractions are like being squeezed by an internal boa constrictor so it’s best not to fight it!

The after pains are just cruel- piles the size and colour of plums and grapes that need infrared treatment for 6 weeks after birth are agony and your bottom is never the same again- they can frequently recur once you get them.

Stitches if you are unfortunate to have had an episiotomy or if the skin of your vagina tears - sometimes all the way to your anus which leaves poor women in third world countries forever leaking faeces -

And then the worst pain of all comes- for some women this is the most agonising - when the after pains kick in - where the stomach muscles contract back to your pre pregnancy shape - only it never goes back quite like it did- there will be a droop- mummy paunch- forever left over.

Then there is the horrendous agony of the milk gorging into your breasts which can swell your boobs so much and mastitis can make breastfeeding lIke putting your nipples in a meat mincer. Absolute agony.

A lack of sleep can be/ is a form of torture.

What I will say is choose your partner/ baby daddy very very carefully as s/he has to be selfless in their support of you.

when you have a wonderful kind and supportive partner to share the joy and relentless hard work then you will look back at the whole experience fondly and want to do it all again.

it can also be life alteringly horrendous and leave you feeling as if you can’t cope, resentful of the old life and freedom you had and feel cheated especially if your dc is demanding and your partner’s life goes on as normal.

Personally I would have liked a 6 th dc but my dh said 5 was enough 😁

I could have written this myself! I knew even from the title before I opened the thread...I bet that's about being pregnant 😂 currently in bed with backache and feeling sick....

I'm there with you - I only had the twins - dh knows how horrible it was for me - I have been unable to look at photographs of their early days as it was very triggering, the videos have been hidden - I clearly remember how I felt - I think I had PTS from the birth where I nearly died, the whole experience was dehumanising, I advise my kids not to do it.

Well it really is a short stage of your life. We spend our lives striving for different achievements, whether that is in your career, educationally, fitness or hobbies. Pregnancy is similar, it's something you put yourself through to achieve the goal of a child.

Another one who only did that once.
Pregnancy wasn't too bad, the rest wasn't fabulous tbh.
I definitely didn't forget. Maybe I'm part elephant 🐘 🤔 🤣

I had three terrible pregnancies, nearly died in two of them (different reasons) but the third was absolutely the least bad of them all. I certainly didn’t put my body through that because of conditioning to believe i should have as many children as possible, what a weird concept.

However my limit is reached and I’d NEVER do it again.

Yeah you forget - I've had 9 and bad sickness with all and HG with some. 2 c sections (both emergency) forceps - you name it I've just about had it 🤣 But the outcome is the love of your life and you can't have that without the rest! X Hang in there!

I have been pregnant six times. You forget how stressful it is being pregnant 🤪

This. Plus hormones.

Aww you are nearly there OP, it’s all worth it, when you have that precious little bundle in your arms. And yes as many have said you do forget. Good luck

Like you say, we're all different. I found pregnancy a breeze, enjoyed it, absolutely not one single issue. The birth though? The pain! Jesus Christ on a motorbike I don't know how people do that more than once! Except I do, because I would do it again to get another beautiful baby.

I thought how can it be so bad? Otherwise why would people do it, and why would that make sense evolutionarily, it can't be that bad, but no, the pain was off the scales. It was so bad I ended up unable to give birth cause it all went so horribly I was so thrown off by the severity of the pain, ended up swollen and put under for C section, and I can only imagine the stinging and pain of the actual birth but relieved I avoided it. But I'll try again if given the opportunity as it's the only way to get a baby.

I actually loved pregnancy so much I'd be a surrogate if I was for surrogacy.

I adored being pregnant and am genuinely grieving for the fact I'll never be pregnant again (100% done having babies). I will never feel that incredible again.

I’m on my 4th and with my first 3 I felt absolutely normal, just with a bigger belly. I didn’t know what all the fuss was about.
Now with my 4th I’m in so much pain, can hardly walk and had sickness all the way through.

I really enjoyed pregnancy but birth horrified me.

No idea. I only did it once! Much as I love my child, I can’t put myself through all that (and the post-birth issues I personally had, although not every woman gets those op so please don’t fret) again.

DS is a very happy - and adored, for the benefit of the pp who implied that us only child mums don’t love our children as much as those who have more - only child.