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Original poster

How do women do this again and again?

94 replies

Amazinganatomy · 25/09/2022 05:23

Currently 40 weeks +2.
I'll start by saying how happy and grateful I feel to be pregnant, and how excited I am for baby to arrive.

But how/why the living f**k do women do this more than once?
I understand every pregnancy is different, and it's only 9 months of your life versus the whole of your babies once they're born.
But still, how?
Between the sickness, bloating, sciatica, poor mental health (much better now thankfully) and my current constant companion, pelvic girdle pain, I really cannot imagine putting myself through all of this again some day.

I really really feel for people who live with pain everyday, it's bloody miserable 😔

I was fine before I became pregnant, now my body just feels broken.

OP posts:
justanoldhack · 25/09/2022 07:13

The only good thing about pregnancy is not having periods. Everything else SUCKS

LunaLoveLemon · 25/09/2022 07:16

After DC1 we seriously considered not having another. By the time he was about 14/15 months the memories had faded and I ended up unexpectedly pregnant. Pregnancy with DC2 was horrific. DH had a vasectomy when she was a couple of months old as I became absolutely certain that I wasn’t going to do it again.

LovelyQuiche · 25/09/2022 07:18

Because the magic of having a baby is greater than the pain / discomfort of pregnancy and birth

best of luck on your journey x

Interested in this thread?

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3rd trimester Families General pregnancy
girlmom21 · 25/09/2022 07:32

After DD1 I knew I wanted another. After DD2 I knew I just couldn't go through it all again.

The second pregnancy was actually much easier. The birth was worse but not awful in comparison to a lot of stories you hear.

Borracha · 25/09/2022 07:36

Every time I’ve been pregnant, I’ve hated it and beg DH to remind me how much I hate it if I ever mention having any more. I don’t particularly enjoy the newborn stage either.

And yet knowing that we are stopping at 3 (DH has had a vasectomy) gives me a little pang of sadness that I will never do the whole pregnancy/labour/baby part again.

Hopeandlove · 25/09/2022 07:38

Because we minimise it and men really don’t get it and the pain

NeroliLakes · 25/09/2022 07:39

I didn’t do it more than once.

rough pregnancy here, and I’m one and done

TightDiamondShoes · 25/09/2022 07:40

I spent my first pregnancy with HG and then I developed PE resulting in an EMCS.

decided in the delivery suite to go for number 2 asap as soon as my scars healed.

you will be overwhelmed with joy once the baby is here.

TightDiamondShoes · 25/09/2022 07:41

Recovery, not delivery.

mistermagpie · 25/09/2022 07:43

Some pregnancies are more straightforward I think. I had two really easy pregnancies, so they were easy to forget and move on from to be honest. Then a third pregnancy and I would never ever do it again!

People who have HG are absolute heroes to me, I cannot imagine getting through that and deciding to do it again.

debbrianna · 25/09/2022 07:46

Apparently, your brain starts to have amnesia after giving birth.

tenbob · 25/09/2022 07:46

justanoldhack · 25/09/2022 07:13

The only good thing about pregnancy is not having periods. Everything else SUCKS

And the lovely glossy hair!
it is the only time I don’t have limp thin hair. I would do it again for that…

Noteverybodylives · 25/09/2022 07:47

I had a rubbish pregnancy, traumatic birth and severe PND - it took me years to get over it and I definitely just stuck with the 1 because of it.

THisbackwithavengeance · 25/09/2022 07:50

I sailed through all my pregnancies. No sickness, no pains. No problems at all. My friend was incapacitated throughout. It's luck of the draw.

PickUpAPenguin18 · 25/09/2022 07:54

It's so hard because yes, the rewards are worth it. However, you're right op, maybe we dont know beforehand. Then again, do we really want to know?

I found both my pregnancies and births worrying and traumatic. Largely I think that was to do with having chronic health anxiety.

For me, it wasn't just the pregnancies and birth, it was the after bit. You think it's done but it's not always. I found the bleeding after both births massively stressful as I constantly worried it would never stop. I had a bit of retained tissue which luckily passed naturally but it was horrific to see. After dc1, I had the pain of an episiotomy and forceps and a massive scar. Plus not being able to breath properly for weeks and weeks after a 3L blood loss. I also had prolapses, fortunately not too bad. And on top of that awful pnd and anxiety both times. The after bit of birth isn't all idealic like social media can portray it.

Having said all that, I still get broody for number 3 but then I remind myself that I don't cope well with pregnancy, birth and afterwards. I just don't think I'm a sail through it person. Too much happened both times.

Incrediblebuttrue · 25/09/2022 07:55

I think you've jad a tough time. First time for me was a breeze (except labour but you know... selective amnesia!). Second time, twins, bed rest from 20 weeks - if that had been my first pregnancy I probably wouldn't have done it again.

imip · 25/09/2022 07:55

I had HG very badly in my first pregnancy, felt awful, couldn’t work and couldn’t function. However, my dear little girl was stillborn at the end of the pregnancy, words can’t begin to describe. I went on to have four more dds very quickly in the next five years, all very difficult pregnancies and medically complicated. HG always present, god only knows how I managed. My youngest is now 10. You do forget how difficult pregnancies are, but it is true that babies make it worth it and it is so very devastating to go through it all and not have a baby to bring home.

Numbat2022 · 25/09/2022 07:59

I'm stopping at one partly because I hated being pregnant (also because I hated having a newborn, and just find being a parent really hard).

I had nausea and sickness for 20 weeks, then heartburn for the next 20. My pelvic girdle pain was so bad I was told afterwards (when still suffering) that I should have been in a wheelchair. I remember all this very clearly and am choosing to not do it again.

Numbat2022 · 25/09/2022 08:02

TightDiamondShoes · 25/09/2022 07:40

I spent my first pregnancy with HG and then I developed PE resulting in an EMCS.

decided in the delivery suite to go for number 2 asap as soon as my scars healed.

you will be overwhelmed with joy once the baby is here.

I was overwhelmed with joy that I didn't have to go through pregnancy again. Hormones and anxiety and likely some PND meant that I didn't feel much joy about my baby for weeks post-birth.

Goldmember · 25/09/2022 08:04

My youngest is 10 and I have just about forgotten the pain of being 40+ weeks pregnant. It feels like a never ending saga and you're fit to bursting. I Ioved being pregnant though, had very few issues and easy babies. I only stopped at 2 as I wasn't prepared to roll the dice in case of not being so lucky again.
Good luck op. Hope the birth goes well.

simplesimply · 25/09/2022 08:04

I'm 39+3 and had a relatively easy pregnancy, no major issues and my mental health fluctuated but overall was not worse than usual.
Still, I'm finding it difficult now at the end. I wonder how I'll feel about another pregnancy after I have my baby, I would love to have more kids but can't imagine going through another pregnancy. I feel that if I had it so easy this time it could only be worse next time.

MidnightAnnie · 25/09/2022 08:06

I already had twins, which is enough for anybody to cope with, so I wasn't much pleased to discover I was pregnant for the second time. I had such a torrid time with the twins that I seriously considered a termination however I don't think my DH would have forgiven me so I really had no choice other than to go through with it, all over again.

I was 23, fit, toned and drop-dead gorgeous. Four years later I was in such a mess that I couldn't look in the mirror without bursting into tears.

Yes, I had three lovely children at the end of it but it took such a toll on my body that I had to have expensive surgery to correct it. Was it all worth it, as I kept on being told? No, it bloody wasn't.

I know I have little to complain about. I have three fit and healthy teenagers doing well at school. I'm pretty much back in one piece and my husband adores me no matter what but if I had known beforehand I wouldn't have had kids. That's for sure. But that is something I have learned to keep to keep myself.

Why do women do it again and again?. I'm probably not the best person to ask.

TightDiamondShoes · 25/09/2022 08:09

@Numbat2022 I’m so sorry you suffered like that and I hope you’re ok now and have made peace with yourself. 🤗 I think maybe because my pregnancies were so hideous, the whole newborn thing seemed a doddle in comparison. Not that you could pay me to do it again!

RedRobyn2021 · 25/09/2022 08:12

Is this your first child?

I felt the EXACT SAME when I was pregnant

Couldn't BELIEVE how hard pregnancy is

Honestly becoming a mother is such a journey

Anyway, can't say I'm looking forward to it, but I will do it again because of the joy.

feckoffbrian · 25/09/2022 08:12

I hated being pregnant. I vomited for the entire time, several times a day. I had restless leg syndrome, I was exhausted, my back hurt so I was put on bed rest towards the end and could only way to be comfortable was to lie in the bath.
It wasn't something that came easily to us either, which made me even more angry that I didn't get to experience 'glowing'. DH nicknamed me 'Pregatron'.

But I am sat here surrounded by my 4DC, and it's bloody wonderful. I would do it all again.

Something I never ever imagined I would say during my 'pregatron' period.