Bless Me Mumsnet, I have Sinned!

[SirGawain]

A heating engineer came to service my boiler yesterday. He asked to use the loo and I said he could. I now find that this is a mortal sin on Mumsnet. Can I ever find absolution?

I guess It all depends on whether the loo in question has a toilet brush.

It does have a brush!

Yes but does it have a bin??

You must immediately cook a medium size chicken - then describe to us how many full meal portions you can stretch it to !

You must then provide a diagram of how the many relatives will be parking outside to visit for dinner

Please don't get too full on the massive salad day before

How very dare you - bleach bleach bleach
🤭🤗

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

If it helps, it was the upstairs loo, not the one downstairs.

Fuck the brush and bin - does it have a penis beaker?

Yes it has a bin and wash basin.

No penis beaker!!!

I need a diagram!

I am getting a lot of work done on my house. I let my tradesmen use my loo but I have a range of cleaning products and a toilet brush available and they know they must use them or this privilege will be revoked!

😄😄😄

Yes but never mind all that - do you have a show pineapple in your fruit bowl AND a washing up station with brand new unused dish cloths displayed thereon?

It depends. Where did he park?

Oh god, I've done this. I let... the Tesco man use my loo!

I was terrified Mumsnet would find out, but I think I got away with it.

Until now, of course 😱

No mention of Spider Willys yet, I am sure they should get a mention somewhere!

Redeem yourself by asking a stranger to park on your drive and entertain us with colour-coded diagrams

Friday night and you're all pissed...I have no idea about what you're all talking about 😂

I use P&C parking spaces when I have my kids with me. I don’t be a martyr and park in a tiny space just in case someone with an invisible disability needs it more than me

I don’t fall asleep in park benches on my lunch hour.

I like Wetherspoons

I go to Benidorm on a package holiday. Full on mini disco, swim up bar and all the things MNers are allergic to. And I enjoy it. Wild camping in the Outer Hebrides, or sleeping in a hole in the ground in Beirut, is not a holiday I’m interested in.

Are you new here? Are you very young?

I let the boiler man use my loo (shudder) as it was a long job, even though landlords stipulate no worker will ever use your loo.

I just told him to put the toilet lid down when flushing so the dragon of unhappiness does not get out.

I had entirely forgotten the park bench nap thread!

As long as he took his shoes off and didn't make a noise in the garden, OP.

I'm not pissed. I'm old and its legal. No fun. At the dawn of time when I was underage, Friday was an excellent time to get off my face.

I have seen a lot of diagrams on MN but never one of a workman using the loo !

Come on @SirGawain . . . . .get your coloured pencils out 🤣

@heartbroken22 Stickaround love 🤭 you'll soon learn what's acceptable here and what sends you spiralling to the depths of hell

Be aware .. you are now entering a new university of life

Spiders rub their willies on your face while you sleep , did you know ?

Any mention of the word " parking" immediately demands a diagram which can be produced by a high tech designer or your nan's smelly old cat with a crayon

God forbid you don't shower 4 times a day ! Anything less just leave the country

And if anyone asks at what degree you wash your towels , just say 90 ! Do not be drawn into how often you change your bedding - unless it's daily then you are fine

And lastly .. never ever admit to what height size or weight you are .. all you'll get is - well when I was 8 stone 2 I was a size 6 and same height as you .. oh sorry you said 18 stone , my bad , I'll just toddle off with my whole carrot to see if I can finish a meal for once

Enjoy the mayhem !