Please help settle a debate

[Sprogletsmum2]

Dp and I have been arguing through this point quite a bit recently and neither of us are giving up on being the one who is right and so I thought I would ask for impartial opinions on here.
Parent A works Mon-Wed 8.30-5 or 9-5.30. A then does all childcare and school runs Thurs-Sun. A also does all of the cleaning, washing, meal planning, shopping, everything child related and 90% of the cooking.
Parent B works Thurs-Sun 2-9.30pm. B does childcare during A's working hours and DIY and garden jobs. B feels they can't function when waking up early and so wants A to take the dc to breakfast club on Mon-Wed mornings before work.
A thinks this is unfair to A and the dc but is willing to do this. A doesn't think that A should have to pay anything for the breakfast club as there is no need to be spending money on childcare.
Money is set up so that B sends a set amount to A each month and then A pays all of the bills, shopping etc and then both have a similar amount of spare money although A spends a fair chunk on things for the dc and B does not. Money is tight and breakfast club takes a sizeable proportion of B's spare money.

So, who is right here?

Neither of you. This is a horrible arrangement. Why aren’t you sharing your money?

I assume you’re A OP because only men are as selfish as B.
how old are the kids to be able to go to breakfast club- because if in school then B does far less childcare.

We don't share the money as it doesn't work for us. Massively different priorities.

You (a) should not be allowing your oh (b) to further absolve himself of parenting.

He does fuck all as it is.

Breakfast club dc are 7 and 5. Other non breakfast club dc are 11 and 13

B is a lazy git.

So if they don’t go to breakfast club does B have to take them to school?

Theres no need for breakfast club, B is just trying to get out of a job and pass it to A.

You don't have to get up that early to take a child to school so B should do that. 9.30 is not that late to finish. You also both work fewer hours than average so there's no reason why anyone should be too tired to get up at a normal time. 9.30 isn't that late to finish.

Wtf is B not doing his share on the weekends? Stop enabling this behaviour & point out that A is also tired so can't do 'childcare', (which it's not, it's parenting when it's your own dc), when A is off.

So B gets a lie in Mon, Tue, We’d and A gets to do most of everything ?
I can guess which sex B is.

B is a waste of space and needs to stop being a lazy arse and start pulling his weight.

If B wants them in breakfast club on his days for childcare then he pays for it, and gets them there.

Since you are set on splitting responsibility and funds so rigidly- B does (or pays for) childcare Monday-Wednesday, B does or pays for it Thursday to Sunday.

You don’t seem to be functioning much as a family, if those hours you barely see each other and constant splitting of responsibilities and finances isn’t healthy in a family with children.

If B can get out of bed early enough then they should pay for breakfast club and also take on one of the chores that A is doing. In fact B should be doing a lot more in general.

Sorry should read A does it Thursday to Sunday.

You should have a lie in each on Saturday and Sunday to keep it fair.

A should ask themselves some serious questions, the most pertinent one being 'would I be happier if B wasn't in my life anymore?'

And B should ask themselves 'why am I such a lazy bastard?'.

Massive imbalance here. B has far less to do than A. A should light a fire under B's arse.🔥

A is bringing the table and everything on it from what I can see, what does B actually bring to the table that A has designed, carved, sanded, varnished and set?

Blatantly obvious what sex B is. Kick him up the arse.

B is a lazy, selfish arse. My ex DH was similar. He is now an ex. Tell A being single might be a lot less hassle for them. My life is easier and simpler not having to carry an extra adult.

A has the raw end of the deal. Assuming A wants things to change, its a shame B isn't supporting A - in that case B sounds very selfish.

No, A shouldn’t pay anything and also shouldn’t take kids to breakfast club if B wants them at breakfast club he should get up and take them and pay for this.
B is a massive waste of space and it’s obvious that he has very different priorities. I would cut him and his gardening from my life unless there is anything else exciting he’s doing every day and you forgot to mention it?

Trying not to drip feed here either, someone mentioned we both work less than average, A is doing a degree part time which will finish when before and after school childcare options are less expensive and so they'll be able to work full time then.
Lie ins aren't an issue, the dc sleep in to a reasonable(ish) time and are really self sufficient, will fetch themselves breakfast and relax watching TV.

How can B think he is they are in the right here?

Why are you (sorry, why is A) spending their own money on things for the kids? It should come out of the bills and B’s contribution should be increased accordingly.

And yes B needs to get up and take the kids to school on their non-working days. Would be different if they were working nights but they’re not.

The money set up needs a revisit, and parent B is a lazy arse. Parent A should be questioning why they put up with this shit and making changes…