I've been ghosted but I need closure

[Andjustlikethatihadnoclue]

A guy I was seeing for around 6 weeks has ghosted me it appears.
We instantly clicked and everything was going so well, you know when you get that instant spark with someone and it's on fire for both of you. Well that's how it appeared anyway.

He even said he's in love with me. Then I went on holiday but we had a few messages back and forth then all of a sudden they stopped. He's not read my last 2 messages since Friday and I can't get him out mg head.

I feel like a loser as he's clearly just either gone off me or met someone else but I hate not having closure or not knowing.

What would you do? Message or just try love past it?

Ugh what an arsehole. He's prob gone back to his ex or a current gf has found out. Ghosters always have some shady reason and bullet dodged. In the old days before OLD, they'd stand you up on a date and change numbers.

You won't get closure from him but I have found it satisfying to send a short angry message and then blocking. I think women are encouraged to keep their feelings hidden, be the bigger person and never express anger and all that repressed emotion is no good. Someone mistreated you and you're within your rights to call him out. Don't do it to get a response, and don't engage in a back and forth, but do it to speak your truth so you don't live a life where anyone can be rude and you never say anything. You don't care what he or society thinks of you, you should only care that you've stood up for yourself and used your voice.

he will be back op trust me,block as no good will come of him contacting you

i know it's upsetting and hard hopeing there is some worthy explanation but he's a player and dont let him play you again

good luck

Realistically you had known that man for six weeks. With OLD this is still a complete stranger.

The best thing is to be aware that many, many people misrepresent themselves when online dating and will just keep the charm going until they get what they want and then move on to the next person. These men have perfected the art of saying and doing the right thing in the beginning so they can you interested.

It is better to not over-invest in someone you have just met and to keep your options open until you have a chance to know them better.

There is no closure with someone like that beyond realising this is about him being a selfish, manipulating low-life and nothing else.

It’s a really good lesson. You need to run a mile from men like this. Don’t get sucked in.

Why on earth would you give him the chance to get in touch again?! Block him!

He'll text when he fancies a shag in the future. The biggest favour you can do yourself is to block him.

Ghosting can take ages to get over- been there got the t shirt. But you WILL get over it. This is a man not worthy of your time. He's likely to be back in touch, that's what they do.

Sorry he turned out to be a twat.

I found it best to not take messages as any sign of keenness. Men can send messages in seconds - they don't necessarily show genuine interest.

I look at online dating like online shopping. You know how we spend happy hours browsing online clothes shops, sometimes adding tons of stuff to our wish list or shopping basket, but never actually checking out or buying anything? That's how most men use dating sites.

I only used to take actual real-life dates as signs of interest. Dates where the man chose a venue, turned up, paid for at least half...

How many times did you actually meet this guy IRL? I bet it wasn't that many? The whole thing was probably fuelled by messages.

Anyone who would take the cowardly way out and treat you like that isn't a good person. A good person at least has the guts to say 'I'm not feeling it' or whatever. It might not feel like it right now, but this is a fortunate escape!

If you give it a few more weeks, you'll probably find that your need for closure disappears. In time to come, I think you'll be SO glad you took the higher road and didn't pursue him for answers. It hurts, I know. 😔

Just leave it. You've been played and had a lucky escape.

On the positive side he's shown you what a knob he is relatively early. You don't have to waste years of your life on this guy.

I'm sorry. I know it's shit. But red flags galore so you've had a lucky escape

But also block! He will be back. When he's bored/lonely/has a spare slot. You're worth more than that. Don't give him the chance.

There's nothing he can say to explain this. To make you feel better. He's just a shithead. So now you know you can block him and rest easy.

The notion of closure is unhelpful; you are your own closure. Grant it to yourself and be free.

He doesn't worth it. You are better than this. It's a blessing you didn't spend years with him and finding out what a horrible person he is later. Lucky escape, I'd say.

You’ve got closure. He’s stopped engaging with you. End of.

Closure is just a made up thing from Friends.

Block him and move on. And any time someone tells you they love you in the first 6 weeks of dating, expect this type of behaviour to follow.

Well usually there is a lot of contact in the beginning, over the top compliments about how you look. Being very familiar when they barely know you. Future faking... what you will do and where you will go in the coming months.

Making things move really fast so they can get in there get what they want then move on.

Such good advice!

So reassuring to read all these messages, doesn't make me feel like any less of a mug but I'll definitely be able to spot the signs next time.

Feels fucking shit though. I still don't get why he's done it, it's weird people want to act like that for an actual purpose. My last message I sent even asked if he wasn't feeling it then just say and it would be fine so to just not reply to even read my last 2 messages is shit behaviour.

Trouble is I don't want to block him because if there is a chance he gets back in touch I want to be able to tell him where and how far to fuck off!

No, be honest with yourself: you want him to contact you with a plausible explanation and/or apology.

Silence is the best expression of contempt. Block him so that you're not left wondering when he'll get in touch next.

You'd only been seeing each other for a few weeks. Whatever the reason, he's not interested. Save your dignity and just leave it alone, it's not worth it.

Block delete the bastard end off feel your pain my life’s been ruined due to this. Hugs. Oh and treats for yourself doesn’t matter how small favourite movies etc.

Probably being supported by his friends. That's why some responses are so off at relationship endings because it's not only coming from one person. A bit like us all telling you he's a miserable lying tossed and then you texting him that. It doesn't match. Same goes with him completely blanking you someone on his end has either given him the idea or reassured him not to feel bad about it therefore not having to communicate it with you at all. It's pants.

What a complete dickhead. Still, you will likely be able to retaliate in kind when he almost certainly contacts you for an ego boost, as a pp said.

This happened to me. A young man swept me off my feet and ditched me within a month. I was blasé in response but privately gutted and felt bloody ridiculous tbh.

I quietly followed him on Facebook and watched him do the same to a bunch of other girls too over the next 6 months - you could tell by all the doh-eyed comments on his posts that cycled through names and his relationship statuses switching.

Eventually blocked him of course.

Just know that men are out there that do this with no regard for women at all. And he won’t have a reason to tell you that is r made up.

One thing I did know at the time was that he would also get a huge ego boost from the desperate messages asking for closure,.

Posted too soon!

• which is why I didn’t even send one. I just played it off in a “fun while it lasted, see ya” kind of way. (And then burst into tears, obviously).