Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

My brother is living on the streets and I feel like I can't invite him to stay

35 replies

Cozytoesandtoast00 · 18/09/2022 20:23

My adoptive brother is in his 30's
He went to prison in his 20's and was in prison for GBH. He dealt drugs and was generally a bit on the dark side.
He reformed after leaving prison. He is a vegan, practises yoga, doesn't drink or take drugs.
He is a bit of an unusual character, in that he is very secretive and I have not met his friends. He moved to a new city. He parents died when he was about a two years old and left him a sum of money which he has been living on for the last 10 years or so.
He often disappears for years at a time.
During his last disappearance I found out he had been sent to prison. He was eventually released after 6 months.
I met him yesterday and he had changed so much. He looked unkempt and like he was struggling with his mental health.
He stated that he had not spoken to anyone in prison and they eventually let him go as they had no I evidence. He would not tell me what the reason for arrest was.
He is now homeless and living on the streets. My husband feels very reluctant to let him stay, as he is being secretive and he has no plans to work. I have children as this is also a consideration.
What do people think about this?

OP posts:
Noteverybodylives · 18/09/2022 21:28

If he has autism he’s going to be even more at risk living on the streets.

For anyone living on the streets it is very easy to spiral and do things a normal person wouldn’t do, out of desperation.

I would definitely help him.
That doesn’t mean he needs to live in your home though.

Does he have any other family members?
I would definitely contact the council as they need to rehome people who are homeless even if it’s just a B&B for now.

Beepbeepenergy · 18/09/2022 21:38

My brother is the same I could have wrote this myself except he has a loving family but we carnt have in anymore as he will never change and a danger to my child when off his head on drugs

Beepbeepenergy · 18/09/2022 21:38

also as long as they re getting help they won’t change at all

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

KangarooKenny · 18/09/2022 21:42

No, you should not have him in your home as you have children.

inmyslippers · 18/09/2022 21:47

There are other things you can do to help him. Buy him warm clothes, do his laundry, let him use your address for Mail. Support doesn't mean letting him live with you.

TheNefariousOrange · 18/09/2022 21:51

This is almost identical to my brother. It turned out he had autism and once he was being supported with that, he sort of started sorting his life out. He still rejects society, still can't live in permanent accommodation (and ended up abandoning any council flat he was given) and can't hold down a job. But he hasn't been to prison in a long time and even joined the army where he seems to have made his tribe. I know if it were my brother I'd take him in under the condition no drugs, and encourage him to get help.

bloodyunicorns · 18/09/2022 21:58

People don't go to prison for no reason.

Don't let him into your home. Help him to find a halfway house, but don't let him live with you

icelolly12 · 18/09/2022 22:19

Definitely don't 'take him in'- he might never leave. I would signpost to social services or any homeless charities/autism support. But ultimately you can't control someone else's life choices even when it's like watching a car crash in slow motion..

avamiah · 18/09/2022 22:23

I totally agree with @icelolly12 .

After that I don’t know what else you can do .

Grapefaced · 18/09/2022 22:24

If he was in prison for 6 months and then let out cos there was no evidence, it was probably because he was remanded into custody rather than on bail. People are generally remanded into custody if its a serious offence, they are a repeat offender or they are a flight risk. Even if your DB wasn't found guilty of anything, it seems like he has been implicated in something serious.

Along with changing his name, this is ringing alarm bells with me.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread