New house was a massive mistake

[Undone21]

Hi all,

was hoping for some pearls of wisdom. We moved house about 3 months ago and I know deep down it was a massive, massive mistake. The house needs a lot more work than I had anticipated, knew it needed redecoration etc but it needs a new kitchen, bathroom, radiators etc, windows etc, skirting boards are rotten which had been hidden by the vendors. I’ve always been quite anxious in nature but my anxiety is through the roof, I’ve had to go to the doctors for medication and I cry daily and struggle to get out of bed as I loathe the place and regret buying it. Im struggling to concentrate at work and am totally absorbed and obsessive about what a mistake buying this house was.

Even after the minimal work i have planned (that I can afford) I know it won’t be a home and I feel utterly miserable here. Has anyone been through the same thing? Did you sell and did it work out in the end? Im trying to give it a year but I’m struggling to see how I can live here week to week at the moment.

Its not a case of just giving it time to make it ours, the kitchen is rotting as there was a leak that had never been sorted, woodchip wallpaper in all the bedrooms and I think the whole place needs totally gutting which is not affordable.

I can really relate. Moved last February. Knew the house needed a lot of work and thought I was resilient enough to handle it but I had an almost visceral reaction to moving and felt absolute despair. I had to go to the drs and get signed off work. Some other really weird shit happened —hard to explain without outing but similar to the govt suddenly deciding to build a massive prison in the village. We felt trapped, like we could never sell it! We had a lovely summer and loved the space but since the winter has come in we are back inside living in 2 rooms whilst building work goes on around us. The move had been so stressfuL that I’m worried even when it is done I won’t like it as the experience has been so traumatic. I feel I can never line the house. I also don’t like the primary as much as the one the kids were in. No advice but just sympathy

Thank you, I plan to say we are moving as we want to leave the area entirely for a fresh start and also need an extra room for the baby. If we loved this house we could make it work but I give up.