Shite mother.

[Sillyholiday]

One child. Single parent. He's nearly 5. I'm shite at it. I've realised I just cannot relate to him. I've got nrelates o idea who the latest lego figure is or any of his interests. I try to make things fun and conversation but it just runs out quickly. I'm.really trying but he relates better to everyone else

Anyone ??

Ask him to tell you things. He will love 'teaching' you about Lego etc.

Talk about things "what was your favourite thing about today? Why?"

Read books to him and talk about them.

No-one is a born parent, we all have to learn 💐

He just says he doesn't know when I ask him questions

He refuses to listen to stories. He refuses to do most things with me.

Hmm I’m sure we could all do better, but you don’t necessarily have to relate to him. I mean, I’m not sure I relate particularly well to my DS, the teletubbies and moon and me are gibberish to me!

What you do have to do is love them. And do your best by them. And feed them good food and keep them clean, and take them to interesting (not the same as expensive) places.

I am sure you’re doing fine OP. We’re our own worst critics. And you have to do EVERYTHING which makes the relatable personable stuff harder, but in ten years time it’ll be you he calls when things are hard and you he wants if it all goes wrong.

Your job is to look after him, love him, feed him make sure he has clothes that fit and go to the dentist. You don't have to worry about relating to him that's what is friends are for. Cut yourself some slack. You are not a shite Mum, you are a really good Mum for even thinking and worrying about this stuff. It's really nice to chat but it's also nice to read a book, go to the park or watch the tele. 💐 I am ignoring my kids to type this message on Mumsnet! 😂

What things does he like to do?

He changes his mind what he likes. He used to like the park now he doesn't. He used to like soft play, now he doesn't. He doesn't seem to like much so it's hard to talk to him.

If you're worried about how you're doing with him and how you can relate to his interests, then you're a good mum!

Pretty much all kids that age will go on and on about interests you have no relation to - DS is 11 and he still has very little concept that we're really to interested in Nintendo (previously Minecraft, previously Ninjago and so on). You kind of have to let it wash over you, but every now and then you have the right to say you have heard enough. I think it's helpful for kids to hear that now and then!

*really not interested

Hell speak to family on the phone and tell them everything he's been doing. If I ask him he says he doesn't know or has a meltdown

Anyone,??

Your his person who he will take everything out on. his bad moods, his anger, frustration.

You really don't need to relate to him at all. Just love him, feed him, keep him safe, give him opportunity to have fun and express himself.

Don't ask him what he wants to do if he says he doesn't like things. Just take him.

It's tough, I understand.

People have already given you good advice. What more do you want them to say?

I want then to say nothing. Thanks all

I found that the person a small child is closest too and spends the most time with is often the person they’re least interested in telling things too.
My Dds have always got tonnes more to tell their dad and grandparents. I just get shrugged at! It’s almost like they think you already know it because you’re always there. Does that make sense?
I’m fairly sure you’re not a bad mother.
Can you not work out his interests by watching him? What does he choose when he’s just left to it?

DD’s 2, sometimes we just sit on the floor next to each other not talking while doing something like threading puzzles etc. you don’t have to engage him all the time, try to be just comfortable with silence, play lego alongside him and once in a while say something like “I like that tower you just built”. Or if she’s doing stickers or something I’ll just say “oh I like that blue one, which one do you like”. Or “whats that”. Just quietly and gently but try to keep it relaxed.

I just feel not very good at engaging with him. I feel he's bored by me.

Things my 5 year old nephew likes-
football
scooting/cycling
park
swimming
superheros- Spider-Man, Batman and sonic big at the moment.
Paw patrol
mario

Does he have any friends or cousins you could bring along on any outing??
How much time does he spend watching screens?
Does he spend time with anyone else? Dad?? Grandparents?

Ooh and any form of transport. Buses , trains etc.

Dad is having more to do with him so now he's the best person ever. He doesn't seen many kids out of school as ivs stopped asking people to meet the answer is always no so fuck that.

He spends too much time on screens at his dad's so I limit it here.

He's going to be my only child so i want to be able to relate

hes 5years old, you need to make some decisions. Does he actually not enjoy the park or soft play, play dates. I wouldn’t trust anything a 5yr old says, you just make plans and take him and see what parts of the day he enjoys and build on that.
ok he likes Lego- sit down and build some Lego with him. Haven’t got to have deep convo with a 5yr old.

He does like them I think. Some days I just have no clue what I'm doing. I just feel like I have no idea how to parent.