Who looks after your kids when you’re ill?

[Betty98]

I’ve got all three children today but I feel awful. I was up in the night but hadn’t really registered how crap I felt until the cold light of day.

DH offered to stay at home but it didn’t feel like I could take him up on it (it was a genuine offer but like a lot of blokes he is convinced his particular contribution at work is absolutely vital to the entire world continuing to spin).

Not to mention that I’m fiercely independent and completely fail at recognising how and when I need to ask for help.

So just that really, if you don’t have any childcare on a day and feel like crap, what do you do?

You just muddle through..throw food at them and put them in front of the telly while you nap. It’s awful though, ugh.

Just muddle through with CBeebies/TV and simple food you don’t need to prepare or get a delivery. How old are the kids?

My DH. If you're unwell I don't understand why you didn't take him up on the offer?!

I’ve got a 2 YO and 6 month old twins.

Kids those ages let husband take the kids. We have always tried to be flexible about childcare and it does really help

Oh blimey with kids that age you do need help 😳

At that age OP you should have taken him up on it - can you still.

Mine are older so its fine all I need to do it get a few bits ready and last week when DD was off she sat with me. These are not the ages you can muddle through

3 under 2 you need to get him back and ask for help. Can he wfh to be there if you are needed?

Yeah you should've took your DH up on his offer, no reason not to 🤷🏼‍♀️

Their other parent! No prizes for being a martyr OP.

Me. I was widowed when they were 5 and 9 and have no parents. They were obviously old enough to not require constant supervision so we muddled through. The elder would go to the chemists and make basic food, and there'd be unlimited computer games for them. School was walking distance so i'd ask another school mum on our road if they could walk to and from with them. Luckily never needed hospitalisation but would have to call in relatives who live further away.
I've been having a flu jab for years now to try and avoid illness where possible.

Yes definitely take him up on his offer to stay home.
Go back to bed and leave him to it. If it makes you feel less guilty think of it as beneficial for the kids because they’ll have a functioning care giver!

Oh wow with those ages op I would have taken him up on the offer- just one day so you could have slept all day. It’s easier when they’re older you can just give them telly or iPad.

DH does. Or if we’re both ill, or he can’t take time off, we just muddle through. It’s tough but sometimes you just have to. We stick the tv on and I huddle under a blanket on the sofa and move as little as I can manage while keeping DS fed and watered.

Sympathies op, parenting when you’re ill is crap 😕

I used to suffer with terrible migraines whereby I couldn’t leave my bed or sofa for hours. DC were very good, happy with a sandwich and crisps and could watch tv all day if I let them. Having migraines with a young baby was really tough, but I muddled through. As soon as DH came home, he would take over, usually by taking DC out for food. I did car share for school drops and could ask my friend to do both when needed.

My dh! I really don’t understand why you didn’t let him it take over @Betty98 don’t be surprised if he never offers again and assumes you can manage!

I can only remember being really really ill once when DH worked away and DS was 18 months. I had proper flu and threw upon the way back from nursery. I then barely left the bed for a week. DS stayed with me, ate in bed, played in bed, watched TV. He got basic care, nappies changed and fed. No baths, pyjamas all day etc.

We survived, and as is the case, he has no recollection. If I’d had the option of help I would have grabbed it.

Coming back very late. Just up feeding a baby and thought I’d update just to say that I started feeling a bit more human late morning so muddled on until DH got back from work. Achieved pretty much nothing all day but everyone was fed and watered!

I don’t think I’ll feel so guilty asking him to stay at home next time I need him to though. I just really wasn’t sure if it was acceptable to ask him to stay off. But I think if I’d carried on feeling as I had then I probably wouldn’t have had much of an option, I was barely functioning!

Agree with this

Are you me, 14 years ago??

You have my total understanding . It gets better, in fact it gets brilliant. But it’s hideous when anyone is sick!

Glad you're feeling better OP!
When the DC were as young as yours I'd either lay on the sofa and do the minimum and hope for the best. Or once I called my mum (she lives an hour away and doesn't drive) and her neighbour brought her up here. That was a bit more urgent.
DH used to have a business. So he was out mending cars 6 days a week. You can't let people down in that line of work, they'd never come back.

These days DH picks up the slack, the kids are 11&13 and pretty self sufficient. And if I'm ill enough to stay off work there's a quiet house to rest in. It is almost a pleasure .

Always me unfortunately. My husband works away for long periods and it's Sod's law I'm always ill when he is away

Having covid with a 5 and 7 year old was just the worst 4 days of my life. Actually crying at some points I was so ill and weak , struggling to breath

You just have to muddle through

I'm a lone parent, so me. Only one child and he's a teen now so no looking after him anymore. I've luckily never been so ill I couldn't do the basics like make sure there was food in the house and take care of him when he was younger.

I wouldn't expect another parent to take the day off work unless I couldn't do the essentials while also getting some rest. By essentials I mean, fed, warm, safe, happy entertaining himself or watching something.

Ahhh, I'd have definitely taken DH up on that offer at that age. School age upwards I'd have muddled through but 3 under 3 is hard!!!!

Hope you feel better soon! And that they all miraculously nap at similar times so you can rest x

Can DH come home from work early? Do you have anyone else that could help you for an hour or two? I always just muddled through tbh, it’s very difficult I can remember changing the baby while holding a bowl and vomiting and toddler had very easy lunch, food that I could grab out of the fridge and put in a bowl, and lots of CBeebies. Never been so pleased to see my DH home from work, went straight to bed.

Hahaha. Me. Even when I had covid I was up all night with my toddler who also had it really badly. Didn't get 2 consecutive hours sleep the whole time I was sick.