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Original poster

Today my teen did something amazing!

64 replies

lifeturnsonadime · 12/09/2022 22:22

He's been out of school since he was 10, classed a school refuser. Not really left his bedroom for 6 years.

Passed his GCSEs having self taught in the last year or so.

Fast forward today - he went to 6th form. Enjoyed the day, came home and did his home work. Made a friend he's been chatting with on Snap Chat since the Open Day.

Totally normal achievement for many. For him life changing!

OP posts:
Boreded · 13/09/2022 00:11

lifeturnsonadime · 12/09/2022 22:22

He's been out of school since he was 10, classed a school refuser. Not really left his bedroom for 6 years.

Passed his GCSEs having self taught in the last year or so.

Fast forward today - he went to 6th form. Enjoyed the day, came home and did his home work. Made a friend he's been chatting with on Snap Chat since the Open Day.

Totally normal achievement for many. For him life changing!

Super pleased for you and him. It’s a huge step towards getting his independence and finding himself

hellosunshineagainxxx · 13/09/2022 00:17

Awh how amazing. I bet he had more resilience than most teens his age and certainly more motivation to be able to pass his gcses on his own! I bet he will do well in the world

PestoPasghetti · 13/09/2022 00:18

That's brilliant OP! Wishing him the very best of luck going forward.

For anyone who has a school refuser (of which I was one!) you probably already know this vid but I could very much relate.

They've got to stop trying to force 'square peg' kids into the 'round hole' of our current hideous schooling system.

HikingforScenery · 13/09/2022 00:30

Brilliant! Well done to your teen!

StillMedusa · 13/09/2022 00:40

Best thing I have read today!
Congrats to your son..not just for GCSEs but his bravery, and even more congratulations to you for sticking at his side and letting him find his own way!

Lovely post!

knackeredagain · 13/09/2022 01:06

Mine too! He’s been in and out since year 9 and never went back after lockdown. He’s done a full week at college and seems to be thriving.

Aren’t they just brilliant? 😃😃😃

caringcarer · 13/09/2022 01:23

That is fantastic. Having a friend there makes all the difference.

octoberfarm · 13/09/2022 01:36

That's absolutely amazing!!! A huge well done to him, OP, and to you too Star

southbailey · 13/09/2022 06:44

This is wonderful!
It gives me some hope too as my ds has mostly been out of school since year 7. Year 10 now and meant to be redoing year 9 which as you can appreciate, isn't making him want to go...

SpoonsAndLoons · 13/09/2022 06:52

😍

PutYourBackIntoit · 13/09/2022 18:37

lifeturnsonadime · 13/09/2022 00:08

I typed a response and then my computer crashed so I'll just try and quickly respond again.

My best advice. Take all pressure off for now. School is not important, mental health is. As long as he is fed and survived the day you have done amazing. I've been there.

When I say do nothing for a while I mean it. It's so unnatural and you feel like your failing them but you're not you're protecting them. Tell them that all that matters is them. Take them out if they'll go, engage in things they are interested in when they are ready.

My son engaged in no work AT ALL for at least 2 years. I realise your DC is a bit older but GCSEs can wait a bit if necessary.

Ask for help. Apply for an EHCP if you don't already have one. Ask for alternative provision.

Children normally want to do their best within the realms of their mental health. My son decided during lock down that he wanted to reengage and he started a bit of online learning and things progressed from there. There has never been any pressure.

He knows now that the ONLY thing that matters to us is his health. He doesn't feel any pressure to engage in formal education, the engagement is coming from him.

I'm not saying that you are putting him under pressure it is societal norms that do that .

It's so hard. It's the opposite of what you actually feel you should be doing.

PM me if you would like to x

Show quote history

I echo every single word of this.

My dd broke in Yr 7, it started with headaches stomach aches, the usual things. In a very short space of time, she had put her phone away, stopped eating, stopped talking to us, and struggled to leave her bed. She didn't speak to anyone outside our family for 3 months. We couldn't get help quickly enough.

We were sort of forced into 'doing nothing', and we continued doing nothing (apart from applying for an ehcp and referring to camhs etc) for 2 years.
She, in her own pace, got back in touch with one friend, came out with us to walk the dog on occasion, and we did not mention school.

Fast forward to a few months ago, and she said she was ready for school again, but a smaller one. We found an international school in our nearest city, and she has been going ever since, started yr 9. She won't sit gcse's but will get an international qualification that is coursework based. She now raves about school.

I could cry with joy, she has amazed me, but we had to let her get there in her own time.

Choccowoofwoof · 13/09/2022 18:39

Absolutely brilliant for you and him, well done I bet you’re over the moon xxx

Christmashope19 · 13/09/2022 18:44

What a lovely post
super happy for you all x

Strawberryrainbow · 13/09/2022 18:46

Just amazing. You must be delighted. Smile

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