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Original poster

Today my teen did something amazing!

64 replies

lifeturnsonadime · 12/09/2022 22:22

He's been out of school since he was 10, classed a school refuser. Not really left his bedroom for 6 years.

Passed his GCSEs having self taught in the last year or so.

Fast forward today - he went to 6th form. Enjoyed the day, came home and did his home work. Made a friend he's been chatting with on Snap Chat since the Open Day.

Totally normal achievement for many. For him life changing!

OP posts:
carefullycourageous · 12/09/2022 23:12

Oh that's a lovely post, congrats to you both!

Original poster
lifeturnsonadime · 12/09/2022 23:13

Thanks so much all. I'm so proud xx

OP posts:
SignOnTheWindow · 12/09/2022 23:13

Wonderful news! Well done him and well done you. X

TheSimpleThings17 · 12/09/2022 23:17

I loved reading this post, very well done to your son and I’m so happy for you both 😊

SecondsAreTheBest · 12/09/2022 23:18

That's amazing. Well done op's son. Thanks for sharing. :-)

Anothernamechangeplease · 12/09/2022 23:20

Amazing OP. A huge well done to your ds!

ThirtyThreeTrees · 12/09/2022 23:21

I love stories like this. Someone achieving something that would have seemed impossible for so long.

Fair play to him for his bravery. It couldn't have been easy for him.

I don't know what you did or how you did it, but you had a large part in this. Total admiration & respect for having his back.

SquirrelSoShiny · 12/09/2022 23:22

A lovely happy day 😊

GentlemanJay · 12/09/2022 23:24

I hope this carries on.

ScrollingLeaves · 12/09/2022 23:27

That is lovely news, for him and for you.
How well he did too to get his GCSEs all on his own.

jenthehen · 12/09/2022 23:28

That’s such a lovely story, onwards and upwards
: )

Original poster
lifeturnsonadime · 12/09/2022 23:29

GentlemanJay · 12/09/2022 23:24

I hope this carries on.

So do I but he knows, as do i that it's not the 'be all and end all'.

If it doesn't work out there will be other ways.

I do think it will work out though.

OP posts:
Original poster
lifeturnsonadime · 12/09/2022 23:31

ScrollingLeaves · 12/09/2022 23:27

That is lovely news, for him and for you.
How well he did too to get his GCSEs all on his own.

Thank you !

He did amazing.

There are lots of online resources. Covid was a bit of a leveller too in the sense that everyone in the cohort at least had a period of on-line learning of some sort.

But he was determined and focussed to do well. That's on him.

OP posts:
Original poster
lifeturnsonadime · 12/09/2022 23:32

Honestly thanks all for such amazing responses. I am so proud.

Thank you so much for sharing the moment. It seems so trivial when it is a normal right of passage for most.

OP posts:
JacquelineCarlyle · 12/09/2022 23:33

Oh wow, that's amazing! So pleased for you both Op!

Original poster
lifeturnsonadime · 12/09/2022 23:33

or is it rite of passage!

OP posts:
EnglishRose1320 · 12/09/2022 23:35

What a lovely post and such a massive achievement for your ds.
That moment when they are ready to step back out into the world, when their mental health is healing, is such an overwhelming moment, when as a parent, you feel like you might burst with pride, isn't it!

MrsDrSpencerReid · 12/09/2022 23:36

That’s fantastic! Well done to your boy, massive achievement!

My dd went through a period of school refusal, it’s so awful. Especially when everyone around them appears to be thriving, not to mention the “just make them go”

I hope he has an amazing year, well done again 😊

NoEffingWay · 12/09/2022 23:44

DSS is a school refuser aged 12, we are all at our wits end about what to do.

What do you think changed for the better?

NoEffingWay · 12/09/2022 23:47

@lifeturnsonadime There's something in my eye reading your OP.

Sometimes there feels to be little hope. No school since May, and we had everything in place to support a partial return to school on a heavily reduced timetable. We are back to complete refusal and doing everything and anything to engage with us, CAMHS and school.

NImumconfused · 12/09/2022 23:48

That's absolutely fantastic, well done to him and you! You're giving me a bit of hope - we're into the third year of school refusing here with my 13 year old DD, it's great to hear from someone who has been through it and made positive progress.

SteveHarringtonsChestHair · 12/09/2022 23:50

That is truly brilliant - I opened the thread thinking it would be something sarcastic like putting his plate in the dishwasher!

This is fantastic and he should be so proud of himself for doing it - must have been really hard to push himself so far out of his comfort zone.

Whatever happens from now on, he knows he can do it.

PutYourBackIntoit · 12/09/2022 23:52

Another parent of an ex 'school refuser' (hate that term), and I'm so so happy for you and your son.
Huge congratulations to him for finding the courage to try something new 👏

RedeeeOrNot · 12/09/2022 23:57

What a lovely post. Well done your boy!

Original poster
lifeturnsonadime · 13/09/2022 00:08

NoEffingWay · 12/09/2022 23:47

@lifeturnsonadime There's something in my eye reading your OP.

Sometimes there feels to be little hope. No school since May, and we had everything in place to support a partial return to school on a heavily reduced timetable. We are back to complete refusal and doing everything and anything to engage with us, CAMHS and school.

I typed a response and then my computer crashed so I'll just try and quickly respond again.

My best advice. Take all pressure off for now. School is not important, mental health is. As long as he is fed and survived the day you have done amazing. I've been there.

When I say do nothing for a while I mean it. It's so unnatural and you feel like your failing them but you're not you're protecting them. Tell them that all that matters is them. Take them out if they'll go, engage in things they are interested in when they are ready.

My son engaged in no work AT ALL for at least 2 years. I realise your DC is a bit older but GCSEs can wait a bit if necessary.

Ask for help. Apply for an EHCP if you don't already have one. Ask for alternative provision.

Children normally want to do their best within the realms of their mental health. My son decided during lock down that he wanted to reengage and he started a bit of online learning and things progressed from there. There has never been any pressure.

He knows now that the ONLY thing that matters to us is his health. He doesn't feel any pressure to engage in formal education, the engagement is coming from him.

I'm not saying that you are putting him under pressure it is societal norms that do that .

It's so hard. It's the opposite of what you actually feel you should be doing.

PM me if you would like to x

OP posts: