I find motherhood so boring

[Immysworld]

I work part time 3 days a week, and during those days my toddler goes to nursery. Being honest, those are my favourite days.
On my days off and at weekends I find it so boring. My toddler is almost 3.

On those days I often have a lot of life admin or housework to catch up on and she just constantly asks for stuff, whines or wants to do things she shouldn't. I end up just getting frustrated with her.
She wants me to sit and play with her but I just don't want to sit and play with blocks. It's so dull. Often I just put Peppa pig on to keep her quiet but now she just expects TV to be on all the time which I know isn't great. It gives me some freedom though.

If I take her out for a walk she can take half an hour walking down a gravel track as she has to stop every 2 seconds and point at a rock.

I just find parenting so mind numbingly boring. My DH works full time and does play with her at weekends.

I just feel like a terrible, lazy parent and I know I signed up for this, I just didn't expect to feel so unmotivated. I always want to do my own thing and think about adult stuff.

I know this will attract a lot of criticism. I don't want to feel like this. I want to have fun playing with her and enjoy spending time with her but I find it so difficult. It just feels like such an effort. I know we need to go on days out etc but my job (even though it's part time) is mentally and physically draining and Saturdays are almost a write off as I'm so tired and just want to collapse on the sofa all day.

Any ideas how I can get myself out of this rut?

Look at life through your child’s eyes is my advice. She finds things so amazing that we take for granted but to her it’s still relatively new and she is only just gaining an understanding.

I also found this stage incredibly tedious.

2 years olds are much harder work than school aged.
My 1 year old is very tiring, older kids are much more fun! You’re not a bad mum.

What do you like doing that she could join in with? Try and find some common ground.

And do as pp said, look at it through her eyes. Look at the rock she's pointing at. Talk to her about it. Change your mindset from we need to go X far in half an hour to we're going to do half an hour outside and follow her lead. If you only get to the end of the road in that time then so be it.

Kids are boring to a point, but you made her, so you need to bite the bullet and play bricks now and again.

Are there places you can take her where there are other parents you can chat to while she potters around and does her 3-year-old thing? Like a stay and play, etc?

I found structure really helped. Each day we’d have a “thing” and it was social for me and my child (stay and play / rhyme time / friend with kid meet up / etc).

Do you have any friends with small children of a similar age who are also off on the same days? If not, there are local groups and ways to meet other parents. I think that can really help so it's not just you and your toddler all day as adult company is important. Do you have any local attractions like a farm park or zoo? I am a member at our nearby zoo, my toddler loves going and it's got lots to keep them occupied. I spend most my days off going there.

It gets better. A lot better.

I also found the baby and young toddler stage tedious. My oldest is nearly 8 now and is a joy. He reads, he's mad curious about the world, he has interests and passions. It's wonderful to see his mind and character develop. I still hate being roped into playing pretend though

Hang in there. 3 is when things start to get better IMO.

Do you not find any joy in any of it? Granted I’m not a huge fan of sitting on the floor and playing but I like the park and baking with my young kids. Tbh you will have to suck it up until old enough to do things you like

Toddlers are fairly tedious. On the other hand they are often also happy to immerse themselves in something very mundane. The trick is to find something you like and find a way of including them. So if you like sitting with a book and a cuppa in the garden, giving them a pot of water and a paintbrush or some garden chalks and letting them decorate the path is a good way of getting ten minutes sitting down, and all you have to is go “oh that’s lovely!” every now and then. Mine used to like being “decorators” and being given jobs to do like painting the fence with water etc.

If you like to cook, realistically they’re fuck all help in the kitchen but might like being allowed to rearrange the pan cupboard or sorting the Tupperware. Etc etc.

I'd also recommend reading up or finding some documentaries on child development (Child of our time is a great documentary series). I find properly understanding child development and what an incredible process it is really makes the smaller moments more interesting. If you can understand what her brain is doing when she's playing bricks/pointing at a rock it gives it all a wider and more interesting context.

Look at how she's developed and changed in the last three years vs how you've developed or changed in the last three years. She's infinitely more interesting than you!

Do you have any friends who have children you could meet up with and go to soft play/adventure farms/interactive museums?

Absolutely no hate from me here, I also used to find it very boring when my eldest was that age 🤦‍♀️ and I also work a physically and mentally draining job so I know what you mean about just wanting to collapse, I survive off energy drinks mostly😂

There's nothing wrong either with her learning to amuse herself while you get housework done, it'll teach independence in the long run and you won't end up with one of these kids that are attached to you constantly x

I hear you OP, I also found that stage really difficult. DD1 is 5 now and brilliant company, DD2 is 3.5 and things are just starting to feel a bit easier, they also entertain each other.

It's hard to say enjoy it while you can, but do try to as suddenly they're at school and you find you miss those years where you had time with them every week.

With DD2 I find it easier if we go out and about or have some sort of structure. That can just be going to the supermarket or taking her to a café (we have a couple of good ones locally that have areas for the children to play with toys.) Also toddler groups or playdates with other parents. Just something to break the time up as it's a long day otherwise!

I found 0-2 tedious , frustrating and loved working while they were this age. Not going to lie I love being in our chaotic routine of work , football training , riding lessons and actually appreciate the time we do have off. I find unless we’re actually ON holiday somewhere I don’t like being off for long stints in the holidays. I have adhd (so do at least 2 of the kids) and we work better when we don’t have time to sit and “relax”.
you are not a bad lazy parent x

This stage is deeply tedious. I got through it mostly by arranging a lot of play dates with friends in the same boat and going to various groups and classes. I was a sahm so it was 5 days a week! Toddler is entertained and you have someone to talk to.

Otherwise setting them up with something and then playing for a little while and then moving away gradually works quite well. Having them “help” you with your chores. Takes longer but you’ve got plenty of time. Also a bit of peppa pig never hurt anyone.

It is fairly tedious. It gets better though. In the mean time it would help to spend time with other Mums and their kids. My favourite soft plays were those with the best coffee. (I was keeping an eye on the kids also though, before anyone accuses me of being one of those mothers.)

Yes it's boring when they're young but becomes more interesting as they get older.

It's grueling op but remember as pp said ,this is how exciting life is for her! A rock!!

She's learning an absolutely incredible amount at the moment,it's all going in!

Also it's her childhood...

Try and see things from her perspective. What about your own child hood...was there anything you remember,liked, didn't like?

Agree with you. Im the same and feel guilty al the time.

And if you meet up with friends who have similar aged kids, you cant have a conversation because the toddlers need constant supervision. You just can't finish a sentence without having to answer a question, give
A snack. Tell them not to draw in walls, snatch etc

It's draining for sure

I found if you gave a bit of uninterrupted attention and played a while then explained you had to do your jobs they would play alone for a while but less quality attention you give the more they demand by being whinny or badly behaved.

Takes longer but let her 'help' with some jobs such as putting washing in the machine or sweeping the floor while you get on with the washing up or cooking (for example). We used to sit mine on the kitchen tops to watch us prepare food. They like to get involved in real tasks.

Some or it - such as slow walking - you just need to accept. If they are being slow because they are being stubborn (and it's safe) get them to run ahead to the next tree or lamp post. Distraction works well.

Two year olds are hard work and do need constant attention. Watching TV while you have a tea break is OK. Unfortunately they do take over all adult stuff until they sleep. It was very important to me that they had a nap and were in bed by 7pm when they were toddlers so I didn't get burned out.

When they get to school age, around 5/6 they get really interesting.
My ds6 comes out with loads of random things I didn't know, He loves science as do I so that helps and also their sense of humour gets pretty good too.

If your job is stressful enough that you need to be lying on the sofa all day on a Saturday after only working 3 days, I think you need a new job to be honest.

I know that comment was quite flippant. But I felt similar when I went back full time. I hated being home with my kids on the weekend because I just wanted to do nothing and recover from work. It was the sign I needed to find a new job, which I did.

I feel you, I felt this way til my dd was about 5 or 6. It was sooo boring it caused me to be depressed. Then she found a few friends in our neighborhood and she would play with them and I was finally let off the hook. Not sure I would’ve survived if she hadn’t found some friends lol

What a terrible shame you feel like that. The toddler stage is great fun!

I think you are sacrificing quality time with your child to do the housework is the problem here. Your dd is desperate for you to notice her, play with her and connect with her - this is entirely normal and natural. She loves you.

Please rearrange your week so you are not doing chores in dd's time. Instead take her out somewhere fun in the morning, where you can play and spend time just on her. An art class, a walk in the woods, a farm visit, feed the ducks. Be absolutely religious about this time with her, and hug and kiss her, this is her time. After lunch she can relax/nap and watch Peppa for an hour or two whilst you get some jobs done.

Have a bath together with lots of toys on those evenings
Have teddy bears tea time every day you are back
Build a tent or den together and have lunch
Play doctors and nurses and you can lie down for an hour
Get her involved in the chores with little mops for her and a duster
Cook together
Disco nights

You will enjoy motherhood much more if you stop viewing at as an endurance and start injecting some fun and laughter, and joy into your days at home.

If I’m honest I feel the same a lot and feel so guilty about it. My little boy is 2 and he’s my absolute world but at the same time I find motherhood very hard and very boring at some points. I work 4 days a week and find the 1 day off I have with him alone in the week a struggle- never know what to do to keep him entertained as I can’t afford zoo, farm etc every week! And he wants my attention constantly, it’s exhausting.