I find motherhood so boring

[Immysworld]

I work part time 3 days a week, and during those days my toddler goes to nursery. Being honest, those are my favourite days.
On my days off and at weekends I find it so boring. My toddler is almost 3.

On those days I often have a lot of life admin or housework to catch up on and she just constantly asks for stuff, whines or wants to do things she shouldn't. I end up just getting frustrated with her.
She wants me to sit and play with her but I just don't want to sit and play with blocks. It's so dull. Often I just put Peppa pig on to keep her quiet but now she just expects TV to be on all the time which I know isn't great. It gives me some freedom though.

If I take her out for a walk she can take half an hour walking down a gravel track as she has to stop every 2 seconds and point at a rock.

I just find parenting so mind numbingly boring. My DH works full time and does play with her at weekends.

I just feel like a terrible, lazy parent and I know I signed up for this, I just didn't expect to feel so unmotivated. I always want to do my own thing and think about adult stuff.

I know this will attract a lot of criticism. I don't want to feel like this. I want to have fun playing with her and enjoy spending time with her but I find it so difficult. It just feels like such an effort. I know we need to go on days out etc but my job (even though it's part time) is mentally and physically draining and Saturdays are almost a write off as I'm so tired and just want to collapse on the sofa all day.

Any ideas how I can get myself out of this rut?

What do you like to do op? I'm a big fan of playing to your strengths as a parent. I detest the playpark but love country walks so we did more of those. Hated playing with toys (it actually gave me the rage) but I love crafts. I'm also a fan of doom scrolling so I'm currently still in bed wasting time on my phone while the dc are on their own devices. A few hours of tv/YouTube isn't harmful as long as its interspersed with other things.

Yes it is really hard going at that age. I would try and do organised mum method so the weekends are less pressured.
If walking takes forever then get a balance bike or a scooter so the focus is on something else.
Does she still nap?
What sort of playing can you get behind? I LOVED building brio railways. Could do that with ds' for hours.

It is dull. Don't feel bad about feeling this way.

It does get much better when they're older. This dull dull dull phase will pass and you end up with a cool wee kid that does stuff you enjoy. They also become much more independent so you get yourself back.

In the meantime, make sure you're getting some time to yourself and that DH pulls his weight when not working.

I used to find that getting out and about helped. Go to a museum, out for coffee, etc. And soft play helps when she's just a tiny bit older. You sit & drink coffee and use the WiFi, she has a blast in the soft play.

For me I didn't come out of the other side until ds was around 4/5 tbh basically when started school.I started working part time and had adult conversation in the daytime again.
I stayed with having just one child and it was the best decision for me.I think im a good mum but I'm a "older kid mum" iykwim.I felt very out of my depth in the early years.Ds is 8 now.

I also did. So I used to do activities together that I enjoyed. Lots of messy play and outdoor play. It gets better

'I find properly understanding child development and what an incredible process it is really makes the smaller moments more interesting. If you can understand what her brain is doing when she's playing bricks/pointing at a rock it gives it all a wider and more interesting context.'

Excellent advice. Those moments that you see as mind numbing - pointing at rocks, building towers with bricks for the millionth time - are hugely important for her play, social, language and motor development. She needs you to join in with them, not all day every day, but sometimes.

Try to follow her lead as much as possible when you are playing, and talk about what she is doing in very short sentences. Don't ask her questions like 'whats this?', 'what colour is it?', but say the answers for her instead - 'big tower!', 'red brick', 'teddy drinking tea' etc. Much easier to do all this when you understand why you're doing it and what she's getting from it

I felt exactly the same OP.

Honestly it gets easier in a lot of ways. I have added difficulties now as DS is 7 and has ASD and hasn't always been in school lately but we can go shopping together, walks, watch a film etc and he's actually quite good company most of the time.

The having to watch them every second is exhausting - it's much better when they'll spend some time playing a game etc whilst you do some housework etc.

It's not forever.

Just wanted to say that I feel the same. I also work 3 days a week and feel very similarly, to the point where I'm considering going back 4 or even 5 days a week.

I feel guilty because my son is and was so wanted after some fertility issues.

But really I think I'm looking forward to when they're not a danger to themselves and you don't need eyes in the back of your head.

My friend likened parenting younger children to driving on a long car journey; you need to concentrate but it's boring.

Ultimately I tell myself that this stage is short in comparison to the rest. Hang in there!

I don't think it's unusual to feel like this. There's some great advice on this thread already but I do think that tackling it head on is the way. Plan short bursts of activity with a goal in mind at first so you can engage with it & her 100% - learning to put her head under at the swimming pool, maybe, or going on a walk to visit the cow/swings/pick some daisies (rather than just 'going for a walk'). You don't actually have to sit down and play with toys with her, especially if your H does it. But you can spend ten minutes counting some pebbles you found on your walk. It'll get easier if you decide to do it and the guilt will then go away.

You be better putting her in full time nursery and working full time.

There's nothing wrong with hating early years child care. It doesnt make you a worse mother.

Actually do stuff together? Take her to interesting places to walk not just gravel paths? Do things you like doing if appropriate and she can play pretend.

Try reframing things. If you do drawing or painting with her you are helping her with learning writing and drawing skills.Reading books with her will with her will help reading and speech ,chat about pictures
Building blocks is early science and maths . Look at playing ,interacting as laying foundations for learning more formally at school.
Visit libraries,parks ,museums . Our local one often has activities for little ones.cook cakes ,let help in kitchen ..make it fun and you might enjoy it too.
And yes stick Peppa pig on when you need 10 minutes or son

Parenting a 2 yo can be boring so don't beat yourself up. I used to find the park mind numbingly tedious. It does get better when you can actually do things with them. And no harm in some peppa pig while you get chores done either!

YANBU it is mind numbingly boring and exhausting when they are young.

Its a really tedious age. It gets so much better though.

Thank you so much everyone. I was expecting to be absolutely roasted for this. It's so comforting to know I'm not the only one and it's normal/ok to feel this way. Some lovely ideas here. I'll respond to individual posters on questions when I can. Thanks again.

It can be really boring and the constant demands do weigh you down. But I found the thing was to try to make myself be more interested, for example in playing with mine at that age. Not all the time and I don't think many people can keep it up for long periods but just surrendering to it and letting myself get into their mindset, even briefly and a couple of times a week, made it all feel much better.

I'm a primary school teacher and it's the first week back, and I worked extra hours too.
Probably didn't help.
It is very tiring, but I do enjoy it.

She could be a chef/line cook, like myself. Those are usually 12+ hour shifts, on your feet, in a 40c kitchen, running around non stop, heavy lifting, prep, cleaning etc. Trust me it's exhausting 🤦‍♀️

Against the grain here, I do think you need to find yours and dds happy place/hobbies/ play or you will inadvertently transfer your disinterested feelings to her. As she gets older she will see your indifference to being with her.
It can be damaging to children and to their self esteem and feelings of self worth. You are not wrong to feel like you do, but you could try and address/find a solution.

It is very boring especially when they are 0-2. My advice is do things you like to do that include her. I like national trust type places so we do that and he’ll have a snack in the cafe with me and walk round without too many complaints. Also I will play with him sometimes giving my full attention but equally like a previous poster says I try and leave him to play alone so he develops those independent play skills. Upping my hours from 3 to 4 days also made a difference to me.

Yeah, it's really awful. I think you just have grit your teeth and get on with it, this bit doesn't last forever. Do stuff you like and take her with you (sadly not for cocktails etc but you can bribe them to put up with an afternoon shopping with a hot chocolate in Waterstones and new book, explore somewhere new for a walk, national trust type stuff if you're into it etc).

Take your child out to some stuff - zoo, swimming, Hartbeeps etc. Or just for a walk somewhere you actually want to go.

I found sitting in the house boring as fuck as well, so I didn’t do that very much. Absolutely nobody likes being forced to play with two year olds. I’d rather sit in the park looking at stones than sit at home playing with blocks.

Making cakes is also lots of fun for your child. They can stir etc, help you spoon stuff into the cake tin. Help you wash up. Help you put the washing in the machine.

This! I always thought it was the best thing ever to see my kids get excited about the smallest most boring things.

You do sound a bit lazy tbh. If you find it boring to play with blocks just come up with a more interesting game. Playing with your child is the best way to bond!
I do understand where youre coming from. DD always wanted to play “mummy and baby”. Worst game ever. So i just tried to gently steer her to play something else. But sometimes you just have to do it for them.

Also it will get better. When they get older they want to do more interesting things. Toddler stage was definitely not my favourite.