Is wearing black really necessary after a death in 2022?

[TidesOfLife]

I loved the Queen and I'm deeply saddened by her passing. She was an incredible lady. I understand there will be certain formalities and traditions following her death but one thing I just don't get is why so many people in the general public were wearing black yesterday. And maybe this will continue in the next few days/weeks.

I work in a big school and I was really surprised yesterday to see that most staff were wearing black. It's a primary school too. I guess I wasn't surprised to see the media on tv wearing black but not other people.

It's seems like a very Victorian tradition that's still being upheld for some reason and my personal feeling is that it's not relevant in 2022. You can still show the upmost respect and wear a different colour. The Queens passing is extremely sad and sge will be greatly missed but as she got to the wonderful age of 96, surely it's also a time to celebrate the long life she had? Wearing sombre black and celebrating someone's life doesn't seem to go together.

My own grandfather hated people wearing black and always said it was depressing. Therefore, we requested that those attending his funeral, wore bright colours or at least, not black. I was surprised to see that some his friends that day chose to ignore my grandads/our wishes and wore black. It seems ingrained into people.

I just wonder if we'll ever move forward from this old fashioned idea that black represents respect after a death?

Agree

How about 'traditional funeral wear please'?

@PileofLogs how odd to give those instructions?

Susanna Reid had the most beautiful black dress on yesterday, must have cost a fortune
I like black clothes though

It’s one of the few customs left, a widow was expected to wear black for a year and then other dark colours. Mirrors were covered in the house, lilacs are associated with death when they were really brought in to cover the smell of decomposing bodies as in the past an open coffin was usual. That’s why the old superstition of bringing lilacs in to the house is supposed to be back luck. Seed cake, sin eating, jewellery made from the deceased persons hair and funeral photos of the corpse. Many old customs have gone this is just one that remains.

If anyone wants to read about traditional customs and rituals associated with death then The Fireside Book of Death is a very interesting read.

I often wear black anyway but yes, I feel it is appropriate for a funeral or mourning.

Not wearing it for the Queen though. I am not going to mourn someone I didn’t know.

Lots of us wore black to work yesterday, as we are public servants.
Certainly not attention seeking , what a small minded comment that is 🙄

@Recycledblonde excellent post and very well put, thank you 👏

It’s one of the few customs left

Mourning - which the Victorians ritualised to the nth degree - was also an outward sign that you had been bereaved - that you needed to be treated gently. That you might cry or laugh at the wrong moment or lose your temper over something you'd normally treat as trivial. That you were going through a momentous live event and needed kindness and consideration.

@Recycledblonde

yes!

It's nothing to do with relevance. It's a personal choice and a mark of respect.
Also, making a post to bash other people for doing as they see fit, is incredibly attention seeking, so you saying THEY are attention seeking is incredibly hypocritical IMO.

I find it respectful to be honest and I'm generally a very liberal non-conservative person.

I do though think that everyone should wear what the heck the like.

It’s a personal choice of course, I wore black to work yesterday as a mark of respect but practically live in muted colours anyway.

When my grandma died she requested bright colours at her funeral, I wore red but it felt wrong, and what I remember most about the day is the various outfits, it sort of overshadowed the reason we were there iykwim.

It is traditional, and of course people will choose to wear what feels most appropriate to them. Wearing black is something that the majority of people associate with a death, in the same way that white or ivory is traditionally the most likely colour for a bride's wedding dress.

These days though, I doubt that anyone would care one way or the other if another person chose a different colour to wear during a period of mourning.

DD (6) said all the teachers were wearing black for the queen. I think funeral plans were made decades ago and are now out dated and don’t match the countries mood.

Hear, hear

I wore black to work yesterday (primary school) and I'm wearing black at home today. I will continue to wear black until after Her Majesty's funeral and the only flowers in the house will be white. I am not attention seeking, I can assure PP, just marking the mourning period in my own way.

Am at MIL's today who is very Conservative and old enough to remember the last Coronation.

And no black plus she wants her TV programmes back.

@MadeWithCare wow! Really. There were four of my colleagues yesterday who chose not to wear black (fully) and one of them is a staunch royalist!! To say that there is a level of attention seeking is rather disrespectful of you to say when it is preceded by the comment...'people can wear what they like' of course they can!!

I wear mostly dark colours anyway, and when I got to funerals where the mandate is "something bright", I have to buy something specially. I don't see that wearing bright clothes is any less restrictive than wearing black!

Nearly all my clothes are black so no problem with that. I've been to a couple of funerals where "No black, bright colours only" was requested and I really struggled to cobble together an outfit. My bright dresses were either sundresses (not suitable) or party dresses (ditto).
I don't think all black is expected though, unless specified.

Black washes me out, so I go for greys and navy instead.

In my family, just turning up is the best thing one can do. They don't think black is the only colour, but don't go for bright colours either.

As long as you are smart it's ok.

To add, I'm in a work uniform of royal blue and navy with red and white trim right now. Not mourning clothes, but patriotic of sorts. At home I wear my usual clothes, colours and all.

Unless stated otherwise I would always presume to wear black for funerals or in memory of people.

Not compulsory but a nice thing to do.