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Original poster

I was rude and now i feel awful

49 replies

ladygugu · 06/09/2022 19:06

Someone asked me how my holiday went and i told them the place was dirty and i had an awful time.
Basically we stayed at DHs friends house abroad.
Another person who I don't know asked me about it and i just totally got the vibe they knew the owner as i had mentioned the specific place it was. I started backtracking when they said "it was dirty?" And said no it was just too rustic for me and the pool wasn't child friendly so it was just tough going with two toddlers.
Now i feel awful, I shouldn't have been bitchy and should have just said it was fine and changed the subject. If it gets back to the owner I'll feel terrible

OP posts:
Hanstarlucky · 06/09/2022 19:17

don’t feel awful!! I think it’s an excellent come back you gave and totally reasonable and acceptable. I wouldn’t be offended by the reason you gave

please try to forget about it ❤️

Swimmingpoolsally · 06/09/2022 19:17

Was it dirty?

Original poster
ladygugu · 06/09/2022 19:28

Honestly the kitchen was dirty, the bedding was clean, the floors were dirty and there were lots of cobwebs and dead flies, there was a lot of clutter everywhere and hazards for the kids, steep stairs, my DD could fit her head between the bannisters, things like screws lying about.
Because of materials used in the garden and water lying there were loads of mosquitoes and i got over 40 bites, one of which got infected.
The owner sees it like their second home and kept saying we should go for a break with the kids.
Coupled with the fact the place is very rural so the kids were bored and i was just exhausted and deflated after as it was our first family holiday.
I actually checked how much flights were to get home but it was too expensive. I told the thanks for letting us stay and lied and said it was great because I didn't want to be rude!

It was just because I stupidly said the specific town name which is really small and the person was like "it was dirty?" And knew the airport we fly into. Ugh hopefully even if they know the owner they don't say anything, i just felt awful for bitching

OP posts:
Swimmingpoolsally · 06/09/2022 19:30

Hmmm. Did you pay to stay?

Original poster
ladygugu · 06/09/2022 19:31

No, we were offered it for free as it's DHs friend, we bought lots of food and bottles of wine for them.

OP posts:
5zeds · 06/09/2022 19:33

You stayed in someone’s home and then told other people it was dirty???!! That’s so horrible. I think honestly there’s nothing you can do to make it better.

Johnnysgirl · 06/09/2022 19:33

What are the chances this person actually knew the owner?

Bonheurdupasse · 06/09/2022 19:35

5zeds · 06/09/2022 19:33

You stayed in someone’s home and then told other people it was dirty???!! That’s so horrible. I think honestly there’s nothing you can do to make it better.

I don't understand why you're getting so worked up - it sounds like the place was actually dirty.

Johnnysgirl · 06/09/2022 19:35

It was just because I stupidly said the specific town name which is really small and the person was like "it was dirty?" And knew the airport we fly into. Ugh hopefully even if they know the owner they don't say anything, i just felt awful for bitching
They were probably just a bit bemused that you wrote off an entire town/village because the kitchen of your borrowed house was a bit dirty 😂

girlmom21 · 06/09/2022 19:37

It's pretty rude to complain that someone's house is dirty if you're staying there for free and they don't actually live there. There could have been other families there before you and they haven't had chance to get a cleaner in because they're trying to accommodate everyone or can't afford it because they're giving everyone free holidays.

Original poster
ladygugu · 06/09/2022 19:37

As soon as it came out of my mouth I thought I shouldn't have said that 🤦‍♀️
I mean I don't know i just got a feeling. I feel like a dick

OP posts:
5zeds · 06/09/2022 19:37

@Bonheurdupasse i think being rude about your hosts home to other people is really bad manners. If you think it’s fine I’d guess you won’t understand.

girlmom21 · 06/09/2022 19:37

ladygugu · 06/09/2022 19:37

As soon as it came out of my mouth I thought I shouldn't have said that 🤦‍♀️
I mean I don't know i just got a feeling. I feel like a dick

So you're not actually sorry about being rude, you just think you were rude in front of the wrong person?

Johnnysgirl · 06/09/2022 19:38

girlmom21 · 06/09/2022 19:37

So you're not actually sorry about being rude, you just think you were rude in front of the wrong person?

Show quote history

Well, precisely...

Original poster
ladygugu · 06/09/2022 19:41

@Johnnysgirl sorry I didn't explain it well, i said it was dirty (i was referring to the house which i think they knew but I'm not sure as I'm not exactly sure what all they heard) and had also said the specific location which is a small village and i doubt anybody else in my area has a house there

OP posts:
Original poster
ladygugu · 06/09/2022 19:42

No i mean as soon as i said it to the first person i was actually talking to I thought why did i say that

OP posts:
5zeds · 06/09/2022 19:46

Did you clean the house or just use it and then come home?

Twawmyarse · 06/09/2022 19:51

Uh-oh. I too have made faux pas like this and know the mortification you will feel but don't beat yourself up. Hopefully the person doesn't know the friend and may have thought you were just referring to the town itself as dirty?

Anyway, it's done now - hopefully if the person you spoke to does know the friend they wouldn't be so mean as to say anything.

EleanorShellstrop28 · 06/09/2022 19:52

Staying in someone's house for FREE and telling other's that it was dirty is really, really horrible behaviour.

You should really have checked the place out before staying?? That's kind of on you that it wasn't childproofed for your child's exact age.

You can't blame the owner for mosquitos. There are either mosquitos or there aren't, if there are there are. It's not the owner's fault.

Again, shocking that you didn't bother to research the location before staying? It's "too rural" but you didn't realise that until arriving?

If your children are very young, there's no such thing as "too rural" - it's just down to you to make it a fun experience. Rural for a child is an amazing thing if you can be bothered to make it one.

Suzi888 · 06/09/2022 19:53

Could someone else have used it and left it grubby?
If it’s empty a lot I guess there will be dust/flies?

The owner may well know it’s dirty, they can’t pop over to clean it. Perhaps they should’ve warned you that the kitchen may need a clean/it’s a bit unfinished.

Hopefully the person you told won’t say anything- what’s the chances.

Swimmingpoolsally · 06/09/2022 19:54

Ah ok that changes it, so you stayed for free and it’s their second home and you then slagged it off said it was dirty and had an awful time. I see why you feel bad. That’s shitty. Ok to say privately But you don’t accept freebies then Tom telling folks you don’t know that well how shite the persons home was

next time pay to stay in a hotel.

Original poster
ladygugu · 06/09/2022 20:01

I agree the location is on me and we did try and make the most of it
By child proof I wasn't expecting child gates or anything of the sort but there was stuff everywhere, screws and tools from unfinished jobs left lying about.
I did hoover and wipe down surfaces and strip the beds before leaving.

OP posts:
Livelovebehappy · 06/09/2022 20:08

Sounds like you just jumped at the chance of a freebie without actually researching the area or getting more information from them. If you had paid, I would have agreed it’s right to have a grumble, but it really is very rude and unpleasant to slate someone to others, when they ere nice enough to let you have use of their house for free.

Original poster
ladygugu · 06/09/2022 20:08

I normally don't put my foot in it and feel awful now

OP posts:
fdkc · 06/09/2022 20:09

Sorry but that's what you get for being cheap. You went on a freebie holiday (apart from flights) and expected what exactly?? Then slagged off the place you stayed to someone even after the generosity of the owners to let you stay for free. Did you do any research on the place at all or even see pictures of it? Or did you just see freebie and go with it?

Next time pay for your holiday, at least then if things aren't up to scratch you actually can complain!!