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Original poster

Friend displaying very strange behaviour

40 replies

Squiff70 · 03/09/2022 03:04

I really need some help with this situation MN because I have no idea what's going on.

Two weeks ago I went into hospital to have a planned c-section. A friend and her husband offered to look after our 2 year old daughter for the day and offered to have her overnight too if necessary. She asked us to take the travel cot for that reason. All was planned and her daughter was very excited to have a playmate for the day.

C-section day came, baby arrived happy and healthy. Advised friend everything was okay and I asked politely whether DP should go to collect our daughter in the evening or whether she'd prefer for her to stay overnight. A reply came at 6pm saying she couldn't look after her overnight due to prior commitments the following morning. She'd offered and asked for the travel cot, but okay. DP went to pick her up. She told him our daughter had been an angel all day - no problems, no tears etc. Thanked her accordingly and took our daughter home. We then sent a card and small gift to thank them.

Skip a few days. We're all home and take baby on his first outing with his sister to the local park. I get a text saying I'm being watched, from friend's phone. Confused, I start looking round. She then appears in front of me with her daughter. No congratulations, no peering into the pram to have a look, no acknowledgement of our new baby whatsoever, no asking how I am/we are. Nothing. The whole conversation seemed odd. Weirder still, this is our local park but she lives at least 30 min drive away. Co-incidental. It's a free country, so okay.

For the following 4 days, my occasional WhatsApp messages to her were read but unreplied to.

Skip a few more days. Friend and her daughter turn up randomly at our house at 7pm without any prior discussion or invitation. We are warm and welcoming, of course. Invited them to cuddle the baby. Friend was full of compliments. She gave our daughter a children's book and said they'd just bought it for her. We were grateful. We then gave HER daughter a birthday card and gift voucher for a toy shop. No word of thanks whatsoever. After they left, my little girl brought me the book to read to her. I opened the front cover and there was a handwritten message inside by the author. It was a message to my friend's daughter, so clearly the book hadn't been bought for our little girl as she'd told us. I don't mind being regifted things at all, but why lie?

All this behaviour, and other things besides, seems very odd to us. She's never been like this before, so what's going on?

OP posts:
Midnightspinkcollar · 03/09/2022 03:09

Jealous of youre new born

Midnightspinkcollar · 03/09/2022 03:09

i reakon

Midnightspinkcollar · 03/09/2022 03:10

And may be she trying 2 concieve and having no luck dunno

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Families
BloodyCamping · 03/09/2022 03:22

I think you’re reading too much into things and looking for ways to be offended. She just sounds a bit distracted and a bit socially inept

milkyaqua · 03/09/2022 03:32

She's shown that she is flakey, she lies, and she has odd boundaries where you and your family are concerned. You don't need to diagnose her. Just remember these things.

MyNameIsNotMichele · 03/09/2022 03:33

who knows but I think the point is she’s not someone you want a lot to do with at the moment. I guess just scale back contact and focus more on other friends, decline invitations etc No one needs this sort of fuckery in their lives.

Congratulations on your new baby ⭐️

UserError012345 · 03/09/2022 04:15

Yeah it's weird. She needs to go. Is she a very good friend ?

Hawkins001 · 03/09/2022 05:14

Wants the friendship, but not sure of all the social graces so to speak ?

DNAwrangler · 03/09/2022 05:23

Hmm. How close are you? If you say she’s never been like this before, and she a good friend, could you just ask her if all is ok?

It’s all very well saying just cutting her out etc, but she could be really struggling with something. Mental health, physical health, relationship breakdown, infertility, money issues… and so on.

Maybe she’s just waited this long to show you her true self. But if one of my friends suddenly started acting weirdly, I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss them.

NotDonna · 03/09/2022 05:35

I’ve a friend who’s been diagnosed with a rare neuro problem and this sounds exactly like the kind of thing she did just prior to diagnosis. Maybe chat to her? Her husband? If there’s something wrong she’ll need all the friends possible.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 03/09/2022 05:54

is this the first time she has been weird?
something medical going on?

Riverlee · 03/09/2022 06:24

The park thing is weird and the message slightly menacing. Also, who doesn:’t make fuss of the baby when seeing them.

The second visit is less weird, apart from the book.

Maybe just make sure your boundaries are in place.

Quirrelsotherface · 03/09/2022 06:33

Very odd. The fact that she didn't even acknowledge the baby when she saw you in the park or ask you how you were after a C-section..she's no friend!

DNAwrangler · 03/09/2022 06:36

Quirrelsotherface · 03/09/2022 06:33

Very odd. The fact that she didn't even acknowledge the baby when she saw you in the park or ask you how you were after a C-section..she's no friend!

Not necessarily. If she’s been a good friend until
now, any number of things could be going on.

BMW6 · 03/09/2022 08:52

Very odd indeed. When you met her in the park did you ask her what she meant by the text message?

If this is unusual behaviour could you ask her DH if she's OK?

MrsLargeEmbodied · 03/09/2022 08:57

a lot of people ignore new borns in favour of older children, to prevent jealousy

LadyKenya · 03/09/2022 09:03

DNAwrangler · 03/09/2022 05:23

Hmm. How close are you? If you say she’s never been like this before, and she a good friend, could you just ask her if all is ok?

It’s all very well saying just cutting her out etc, but she could be really struggling with something. Mental health, physical health, relationship breakdown, infertility, money issues… and so on.

Maybe she’s just waited this long to show you her true self. But if one of my friends suddenly started acting weirdly, I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss them.

This. She could have a medical problem, that you are unaware of.

SeeSeaC · 03/09/2022 09:11

Speak to her and tell her you are concerned ?

JanglyBeads · 03/09/2022 09:12

I'd be thinking some kind of brain problem, yes, and contact her partner.

They sound like the kind of things someone with eg dementia might do. Or a tumour? Hope not.

I'm sorry OP.

watcherintherye · 03/09/2022 09:14

Very odd indeed. When you met her in the park did you ask her what she meant by the text message?

It’s the kind of message you might send as a joke, if you happened to see someone you knew at a slight distance, and they weren’t aware you were there. What’s really strange is the fact that she just happened to be in the park 30 mins drive away from her, at exactly the same time as the op and family!

SallyWD · 03/09/2022 09:16

The message about you being watched could have been a silly joke but it's weird not to acknowledge your new baby at all when she saw you. Maybe she wanted to make up for it by turning up at your house with a gift a few days later. Some people are just odd!! Is she usually a bit eccentric or has this only just started since you've had the baby? Perhaps she's jealous?

Uptowntwirl · 03/09/2022 09:20

Maybe she suspects you aren't looking after your child and is checking up on you??

Arewerelated · 03/09/2022 09:23

I would wonder if things are alright with her partner/at home. Not wanting your dd over night and turning up at 7pm with a her little one would have me quite worried

SeeSeaC · 03/09/2022 09:23

Uptowntwirl · 03/09/2022 09:20

Maybe she suspects you aren't looking after your child and is checking up on you??

How on Earth did you reach that conclusion?

MrsLargeEmbodied · 03/09/2022 09:28

a friend and her husband offered in the beginning?

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