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Original poster

Having goals after 50

37 replies

Beechview · 02/09/2022 17:44

I don't know quite how to put this but I feel like there's a lot for me to achieve in life still but I also feel like what's the point at this age.
I know that sounds really ridiculous because I'd really admire someone who did. Probably because it seems that the odds are stacked against them.
Anyway, the point is that I have fitness, weight and work goals to achieve still but I find my drive is affected by my doubts.
Does anyone get what I'm trying to say? How can I overcome this?

OP posts:
Bookridden · 02/09/2022 19:20

I totally get this OP as I'm in the same age and situation. I find lack of confidence a problem, and the knowledge that there are younger, smarter women who don't have to deal with the menopause and the problems of a middle aged body. I shall follow this thread with interest.

differentstrokes1 · 02/09/2022 19:22

join groups with like minded people? always easier in a group.

Fuwari · 02/09/2022 19:33

Honestly, I’m in my 50’s and I have no fitness/weight/work goals. I do have goals. There are places I still want to visit, I want to master a language I’ve been learning, a few things along those lines. What strikes me is your goals are quite competitive. There will always be people fitter than you, or have progressed work wise more than you. Maybe you need to bring it down to a more personal level. Whereby you’re not competing with others, just with yourself.

PollyCreo · 02/09/2022 19:42

I'm the same OP, turning 50 this year and feel like I've achieved nothing.

I've worked on my fitness goals (work in progress) but remembered the brain is another muscle that needs to be exercised - I'm starting a foreign language class next week and totally shitting myself. I already speak this language reasonably well but going for the advanced level so I'm worrying I'll be the dunce in the class. I've thought about quitting even before I start but I'm determined to follow it through.

Face your fear OP!

Wiccan · 02/09/2022 19:57

I agree with all said , the doubts about my own abilities and confidence was terrible peri-menopause didn't help . I gave myself a damned good talking to , started a business improved my health got active and remind myself every day that I am in competition with no-one. Reinvent yourself if needs be but Live your best life and feel great about who you are 🙂.

FredrikaPeri · 02/09/2022 21:03

Wiccan · 02/09/2022 19:57

I agree with all said , the doubts about my own abilities and confidence was terrible peri-menopause didn't help . I gave myself a damned good talking to , started a business improved my health got active and remind myself every day that I am in competition with no-one. Reinvent yourself if needs be but Live your best life and feel great about who you are 🙂.

Love this 👍

madroid · 02/09/2022 21:08

Bookridden · 02/09/2022 19:20

I totally get this OP as I'm in the same age and situation. I find lack of confidence a problem, and the knowledge that there are younger, smarter women who don't have to deal with the menopause and the problems of a middle aged body. I shall follow this thread with interest.

Those younger women might have young children, snotty DHs, no experience though - but yes they'll always be people 'better' than you. You just have to accept that and do your best (or what you feel like).

J0y · 02/09/2022 21:11

I've spent my whole life being fit and healthy and slim. Since turning 50 in the pandemic i've relaxed all that. I still want to be healthy but I see it as a goal achieved that I'm not defining myself by dress size right now. I may get a buzz to lose weight again. Who knows.

I feel like I should be creating something. I should be making my own clothes. I can't even thread up a sewing machine though.

Takentomybed · 02/09/2022 21:18

I feel like I should be creating something. I should be making my own clothes. I can't even thread up a sewing machine though.

I completely relate to this. I used to paint, draw, a lot years ago and I am always telling myself I should use my talents. But lack of confidence and motivation gets in the way.

ManAboutTown · 02/09/2022 21:22

I struggled this with a bit after separation but I've learned that in my late 50s I can still find a challenging and interesting job and I have the money and freedom to do what I want so I've decided to focus on seeing the bits of the world I haven't seen, meeting someone new, and doing gigs, sports events, exhibitions I enjoy

BadGranny · 02/09/2022 21:41

I started a new career in a different but related field at 50, moved to a different part of the country, and acquired a completely different lifestyle. Since then I have developed specialist skills in a key area for my profession, grown a second career working from home, and had surgery to sort out my formerly horribly painful arthritic hip. Of course, I’m getting on a bit now, but if I keel over tomorrow, the years since my 50th birthday have been hugely productive and fulfilling. Keep looking to the future, and as you do, enjoy the life that you are living now.

EmmaH2022 · 02/09/2022 21:44

I can relate to all this. I can see the positives in a way, but then I find myself surfing MN all evening....my neighbour has made herself a lovely trouser suit and I also an't thread the needle on the sewing machine.

I don't seem to have the patience to get past the stage of being crap at things.

EmmaH2022 · 02/09/2022 21:45

Oh and I'm 46, not 50.

Original poster
Beechview · 02/09/2022 21:56

Oh what lovely responses. Flowers

I'm not very competitive actually so those goals are personal to me. I'm self employed and my work goals are all about expanding my business and knowledge and I just want to lose weight and be healthier.
I do want to live my best life Smile
Joining a group is a great idea as just reading these responses has given me a bit of an attitude adjustment. Thank you.

OP posts:
Wombat27A · 02/09/2022 22:01

I don't know where all the 50 yo ish women hang out where I live. Even the WI is run by ladies in the late 70s & there's nothing wrong with that but they're hopefully not as menopausal as me. 😁

I don't currently have any goals, barely leave the house. Just playing whack--a-mole with chronic health issues. So you're doing well. 👍

Qik · 02/09/2022 22:06

Joining a group is a great idea

You know this, but I will say it anyway. Don't hang around negative people. Shit sticks.

Hang around positive people. It rubs off.

Remember this every day.

sheepdreams · 02/09/2022 22:07

Rock your 50,s. Celebrate all off the opportunities ahead of you personal to you. It’s a privilege for some to be able to consider what their 50’s may be like. So much to explore do with a greater knowledge and wisdom of life so far.

LarryBlackmonsCodpiece · 02/09/2022 22:17

I hear you op, I’m a couple of years off 50 & up against it with poor mental health, I have no idea how I’m to achieve anything but I know I need to think of new beginnings.

MissyB1 · 02/09/2022 22:24

I’m 54 and struggling a lot with confidence, but also just feeling a bit lost. I’m drifting along in a couple of casual jobs and not feeling fulfilled. I can’t afford to pay to retrain, I looked into doing a counselling degree but it’s so expensive! We are ok financially but don’t have thousands to splash around.

I am planning to do a language course just for my own interest. And a free course on mental health in teenagers I found at our local college.

Catch21 · 02/09/2022 22:29

Someone told me that a good fitness goal in your 50s is to take up yoga. Because you can keep improving at it no matter what age you are (whereas you'll be going downhill in most sports).

mondaytosunday · 02/09/2022 22:34

I'm 60 and still have plenty of goals! I want to start a new business, get fitter and lose weight. I've got the seeds of the business and have signed up for a course to improve my skills to make it happen. I've got a trainer and vie to lose the weight before a post A level trip next year.
You've got about 25-35 years left, don't waste it!

Wiccan · 03/09/2022 00:26

Catch21 · 02/09/2022 22:29

Someone told me that a good fitness goal in your 50s is to take up yoga. Because you can keep improving at it no matter what age you are (whereas you'll be going downhill in most sports).

Yoga is great it really improves flexibility and is calming I do yoga every morning and it sets me up for the day .

Wiccan · 03/09/2022 00:29

MissyB1 · 02/09/2022 22:24

I’m 54 and struggling a lot with confidence, but also just feeling a bit lost. I’m drifting along in a couple of casual jobs and not feeling fulfilled. I can’t afford to pay to retrain, I looked into doing a counselling degree but it’s so expensive! We are ok financially but don’t have thousands to splash around.

I am planning to do a language course just for my own interest. And a free course on mental health in teenagers I found at our local college.

That sounds really great 🙂

Wiccan · 03/09/2022 00:48

Wombat27A · 02/09/2022 22:01

I don't know where all the 50 yo ish women hang out where I live. Even the WI is run by ladies in the late 70s & there's nothing wrong with that but they're hopefully not as menopausal as me. 😁

I don't currently have any goals, barely leave the house. Just playing whack--a-mole with chronic health issues. So you're doing well. 👍

Then keep in touch with people online/ MN especially if you don't leave the house much , I feel better just talking with you all it really helps as we are all pretty much going through the same thing 💐

EmmaH2022 · 03/09/2022 01:08

For me, some of it is the positive of feeling like the worst bit of career building and earning is done, and it's time to relax.

I do still have the stress of caring for an elderly parent.

so it's not that I really want to do stuff, I just sometimes think it would be nice if certain skillsets were in place for hobbies. I know I have to get past the learning points but it puts me off.

the workouts I prefer to do are likely to seem harder as I get older but hopefully that's a way off.

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