Had 2 arguments with strangers in the last week - feeling very down.

[DemoBourbon]

I feel like I can’t keep my mouth shut! Last week I was called a stupid bitch for telling a family with toddlers sitting on knees in the back of the car that it was really irresponsible and dangerous and they shouldn’t be doing it.

Then today made a comment to someone when they made me and DC walk in the road while going through a very narrow tunnel under a railway bridge (she knew we were in the tunnel on a very narrow, single-person-width path, but entered anyway instead of waiting for us to come out).

Just to add, any comment I made was not in a raised voice and not in an angry manner.

Do other people just not say anything in these situations? I wish I could sail through life obliviously.

I certainly wouldn't say anything in the second situation, was there traffic that meant stepping round her was difficult?

Yes, the curve of the road under the bridge means that you can’t see a car enter the tunnel until it’s on you, so basically me and 2 DC stepping into the road blind, just hoping nothing speeds round the corner. It’s a single vehicle width road so no way of the car avoiding you if it’s going too fast.

I can’t help it….the thought pops in to my head and I’m thinking “don’t say it, don’t say it…” but it’s like I can’t help it. If someone pisses me off…especially if it’s to do with my DC I can’t help it. My DH is always telling me I’ll end up getting a slap….🙄

The second situation would have really annoyed me.

When that happens to me I hug the wall and just stop walking. It always forces the other person onto the road side.

I'm the same, sometimes I just can't keep my mouth shut. I've only had one person retaliate through and that was on the tube, a woman was pushing the woman next to me and I could see she was getting a bit upset by it so I told her to stop pushing and she went mental 😂

I really need to stop though, always think I might say something to the wrong person and get stabbed.

My mum is like this, was awful when she was going through meno. When she was commuting into London for work I was genuinely worried she was going to get herself stabbed.

I really think this might be the reason with me. I’m 45 so it probably is

Count to ten instead of telling other people off, especially when you're out with your child. But practice it when you're out on your own too.

A child needs to feel he's in the company of a sensible and discreet parent who knows it's none of her business how others transport their children and is able to stop and stand by the wall of a tunnel while another pedestrian passes.

A parent who is prone to outbursts of annoyance in public doesn't inspire confidence in a child. It does the opposite - it makes him anxious.

Same goes for a parent who is overly irritated by the behaviour of others.

Take care of your own child. Let others do what they want with theirs.

I find it quite hard to bite my tongue at the minute - definitely a bit less tolerant ( and I've never been very tolerant) Last week it was a bunch of people in McDonald's monopolising the collection counter (leaning on it and blocking it) when they had only just ordered so I couldn't reach my stuff when my order was ready to collect.

I may or may not have said "excuse me please", I also may or may not have said "God, just get out of the way!". Either way I shouldn't have been in McDonald's. Blaming all of it on the Menopause.

I don’t agree with this. My mum always told people off when they were rude and inconsiderate towards us and I really respected her for it. I’d much rather someone who knows her mind and isn’t afraid to speak it rather than a wall flower.

Are you German, @DemoBourbon? If not, you'd fit in very well as the busybodying never stops...

Unfortunately there wasn’t the option of standing by the wall while the other person passed as she expected us to pass her on the road rather than the other way round.

My children weren’t with me when I pointed out that the toddlers were at risk of death, so that’s good.

I’m a nightmare for this. I find myself telling kids off, I’m a teacher and it’s like a reflex. Last time I did it was kids on some equipment that was dangerous at a local outdoor music event, about an hour after I’d cleared the kids off it a child got trapped and ended up in hospital so I felt like my initial intervention was justified but guilty that I’d given up when I saw kids piling on again.

Reprimanding the people with unrestrained toddlers was foolish, no one is going to respond positively to public admonishment. When I have seen this I have called police as I do genuinely want the children to be safe but no way would I take it upon myself to tell them off. Honestly, how did you think it would pan out?

The tunnel one however would irritate me and I would probably wait so she had to go in the road rather than move. Not sure whether I would say anything, it depends a lot on the attitude of the other person. I try to assume it’s a mistake rather than deliberate as that’s better for my stress levels!

I think it’s safety issues around children that are triggering me at the moment, like you say, you were justified in pointing out a dangerous situation and quite right to do so.

Don’t get down about these things as the other people have forgotten all about them. Forget about it get on with your life

Would you not just say, no we were walking first mychildren will stay on the path whilst you pass? I certainly wouldn’t tell someone toddlers on laps is dangerous, it doesn’t involve you and they clearly know the risks , you’d be beating a dead horse.

In hindsight I should have called the police.

I just did it today there is a point in our road where parking issues force it to be single lane the obstruction is on the other side of the road so I have right of way oncoming idiot comes down the road in the middle even where it's two way but I'm already committed I can't move if I stop im literally blocking the road so I continued thinking she will stop it will be tight but I'm not driving a tank....she didn't stop I had to swerve nearly wiping out a parked cars back end I shouted move over IDIOT drove down the road asking ds why didn't you tell me my window was open 🤣 I'm 47 my mouth has started to write cheques my body can't cash

Side note she actually has a clearer view of the road than me she would have seen me coming easily

she expected us to pass her on the road rather than the other way round.

what you can do in these situations is just stop. If you can anticipate it will happen in a couple of seconds, hold your DC’s hands, stop and bend down to say to the DC that you are waiting one second. The person will usually go around. If they also stop, you can explain you don’t want to walk on the road and let them squeeze past.

Someone asked me whst was wrong with my child (he was squeak meowing in distress for some reason) I said well he has an Unreasonable addiction to American candy and a mouthy mother what's wrong with yours? 👀👀👀👀literally crickets she took her kids away like we had fleas staff thought I was hilarious 😂

You were right to speak both times.
It's not your problem if people are abusive to cover their lack of consideration or stupidity.

Come on, no way would I expect a woman and children to walk in the road just to accommodate me. The op was right to be annoyed.

Yes, but was she right? That's the real question here.

Honestly you are overreacting a bit

Try not to worry yourself about strangers, it’s not your battle to fight.

with the 2nd person, maybe they have never used that tunnel before and weren’t aware you would have to blindly step on the road to allow them to pass. Maybe their mind was elsewhere as something tragic happened. I agree with the others that if you were genuinely concerned for your safety, you should have stopped where you were and let her walk around you.