Had 2 arguments with strangers in the last week - feeling very down.

[DemoBourbon]

I feel like I can’t keep my mouth shut! Last week I was called a stupid bitch for telling a family with toddlers sitting on knees in the back of the car that it was really irresponsible and dangerous and they shouldn’t be doing it.

Then today made a comment to someone when they made me and DC walk in the road while going through a very narrow tunnel under a railway bridge (she knew we were in the tunnel on a very narrow, single-person-width path, but entered anyway instead of waiting for us to come out).

Just to add, any comment I made was not in a raised voice and not in an angry manner.

Do other people just not say anything in these situations? I wish I could sail through life obliviously.

Car thing - you should've kept your nose out. Did you really expect any other reaction?

Tunnel thing - you shouldn't have stepped into the road. Surely this could've been sorted out by just asking her to hang on a minute whilst you popped round her, or the other way around?

The first one. I’d probably have said something too.

The second one. I probably would’ve not said anything and just stood still on the pavement and let them walk around.

I went for a swim recently in between a lane swim time and a non-lane time. Some young teenage boys were hanging on the ropes and interrupting myself and a couple of other women from swimming I told them to please not hang on the ropes as they could injure someone swimming past. And they spent the rest of my time swimming purposefully getting in my way 😂 definitely not worth it. Felt like I was at school again, not a 31 year old woman.

By DD was only in preschool last year and I've already made a reputation for myself. School mum parking on yellow zigzags, illegal in all circumstances, but she wasn't even parking there because there was no other parking left, but because she was far too busy and important to park in the car park or further up the road than the rest of us. So I said something (and took a pic of her car when she refused to move, she moved after that). I've been a paramedic long enough to see enough stuff that I can't unsee that when it comes to my DC safety, and the safety of my friends DC I don't give a f*ck any more.

Emailed HT that evening and she was totally on my side and completely exsasperated by the ongoing parking situation.

Christ don’t rope the school into parking issues, nothing they can do about it. Makes me cringe that parents expect schools to police squabbles between adults. As if they don’t have their hands full with hundreds of children 🤦‍♀️

Be a grown up and report to appropriate authority. Or talk to the woman in a civil manner. You know, behave like a grown up.

I wouldn't have said anything in either situation, I'm not surprised you got a mouthful especially with the first situation.

I didn’t know that parents were supposed to be discreet @mathanxiety ….

Why should an adult expect another adult and a child to step in the road though?

I would have let the child stay on the pavement. And I would have gone on the road. Because you know road - child - safety. They were there first etc….

unless the reason the other person didn’t go on the road was that they knew it was dangerous …. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

My DP used to worry when I was going through menopause that I was going to get punched.

Great logic there honeybuns - the headteacher won’t have to deal with hundreds of children if the kids get run over and injured right? 1 less child, one less problem? Come on - it’s not really about parking is it, it’s concerning health and safety which the school is committed to uphold

Tbh pick your battles, I really couldn’t be bothered with telling someone off for putting a child on lap not that your wrong but if I told someone off every time I saw something wrong I’d never get anything done . The 2nd thing yes because it involves me and that would annoy me more . Tbh I think more people should speak up when annoyed instead of grumbling silently or expecting someone else to speak up .

This is the way I need to think about it. It’s pointless wasting my energy but my brain won’t cooperate!

Finding out who is involved up to that point would normally involve contacting the HT. Even if I had gone straight to the council or police, which I found out other parents have been when the HT phoned me the next day, I would have cc'd the HT in our of courtesy. HT directed me to which parents I should talk to and what strategies we might try, definitely not interested.

The issue really does matter to the HT. In my professional capacity I've seen many colleagues dragged through the coroner's court (dodged it so far myself) and it is a horrendous experience. If a school pupil dies immediately outside their school, you can be damn sure that the coroner will be calling up the HT. Therefore it is very much an issue for them, and presumably a pretty stressful one at that.

should have been Definitely not uninterested

I think you should try to avoid these situations. I’d have left the toddler on knees people alone. And under the bridge, you could have stopped and stood your ground until the other person stepped out into the road. Or if you were very worried, you could have walked back out of the tunnel and waited for the other person to vacate it.

regarding the wording of your comments, it is one thing to point out a hazard but it is quite another to describe what someone has done as irresponsible. It’s inflammatory. Even if true.

Unpopular opinion here but I think part of the problem with society today (I've already instantly aged myself by saying 'society today') is that people keep their heads down and don't say anything.

Ok, so no one likes a busybody who's interfering in stuff that's nothing to do with them but if you see a person doing something that you know will genuinely put others in danger, then I think it's ok to say so. A lot of the time, we're afraid of verbal abuse (or being stabbed!!) but if it's safe to say something and you can do it in a calm and kind way, why not? You might just save a life.

I think it’s absolutely great to speak your mind. And I think it’s fine for strangers to tell me off if I’m being irresponsible or unsafe or rude. That’s what living in a community is all about.
Life has conflict, that’s part of it. Many conflicts are healthy.
Many people can be afraid of conflict, especially in the UK, and it’s a personal opinion but I think we lose a lot to that.

Yes!

Rude selfish ignoramuses with no manners do get the rough end of my tongue I afraid. I don't care if they retaliate

Newer curtains I'm with you on that

I wouldn't have said anything to the folk in the car. You have to be in a different planet not to know that it is dangerous. So they are choosing to do it anyway.

I wouldn't have walked on the road I'd have just stopped dead and let them walk around us. If they said anything I'd have given them a mouthful!

have to admit op I find it hard to bite my tongue also especially when people are disgusting like spitting in the street, I'm afraid I tell people they are disgusting because they are. I do need to be careful though !

I asked a question to clarify a point, at no point did I say I would expect an adult and child/ren to move out of the way of a single adult.

YANBU Op. When I was younger I took no prisoners but nowadays I either gauge whether they are likely to stab me/I could outrun them, or I just don't say anything.

I definitely would not walk in the road with children, like has been said, you stand still and they can walk round.

Or ignorami

It's not like you could call 999 for this so we all know calling the police isn't an option in the real world