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Original poster

When was the last time you felt total and utter joy?

254 replies

Zebrasandfairytales · 01/09/2022 12:54

I just thought this morning, I can’t remember when I last felt like that. That feeling of happiness, freedom, contentment, joy. Which is really sad.

I thought maybe reading others moments of joy might give me some joyspiration.

Or if others feel similar help me to feel less alone.

OP posts:
Squirrelsnut · 01/09/2022 18:21

Seeing DS turn and smile at me once. He was 5 and it was a smile of complete wonder and joy.

Adversity · 01/09/2022 18:37

I almost died a decade ago, it took a few years of treatment to get back on track. I had been very active before, then my lovely DD did die while I was recovering. Staring death in the face so much has made me very grateful to still be alive.

One of the best moments in my entire life was just last Friday on holiday back in my home town. We did a 6 mile hike and then went swimming in a beautiful bay. DH and I while in the water said I love you at exactly the same time whilst hugging and laughing. We hardly ever say it. I mean maybe half a dozen times a year at most. It was the most beautiful moment.

We had visited her grave a couple of days before and I just knew she wouldn’t want me to be miserable and something really did click in my head at that time. It was like I was allowed to be truly happy again. I have felt happy in the last decade but not like that, I felt like the old me before all the tragedy.

lollipoprainbow · 01/09/2022 18:47

When I gave birth to my dd 10 years ago.

DamnUserName21 · 01/09/2022 19:00

Can't remember the last time I felt excited but I feel the odd burst of joy and contentment at random times when I'm with my DD. As stressful and harsh life can be sometimes, I get these moments with, or related to, her always.

MeOldBamboo · 01/09/2022 19:04

I have had some awful health news in the last couple of weeks, a long road of treatment ahead but light at the end of the tunnel. I went on a water slide ride with my DD this week on holiday. It was so much fun , we laughed and laughed then did it again. I was laughing so much I couldn’t get out do the vessel which made everyone else laugh. Proper belly laugh. Joyous. God it’s the little things. Grab every minute!

SpringIntoChaos · 01/09/2022 19:16

I honestly can't remember...which saddens me thinking about it now!!

I'm in my late 50s, been single/divorced for 20 years, brought up my children alone with no help (financial or practical) from my ex (he disappeared!). My kids are now 'grown and flown' and I guess I'm just really lonely! I'm not 'sad' or anything...I have friends and do go out walking and other 'free' stuff (nothing fancy as I can't afford it!)

I feel like all I do is 'work to live' (and I don't enjoy that!) Rinse and repeat...it's hard when you reach my age and seem to have nothing to show for working really hard for years! I'd love to have even a little bit of spare cash at the end of the month, to treat myself to a night at the cinema or even just a bottle of nice wine...but there's nothing left.

No 'joy' for me sadly. And I fear it's going to get a WHOLE heap worse!!

SilverLiningPlaybook · 01/09/2022 19:16

I can’t either. Probably when I went to a theme park for the day about 30 years ago.

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 01/09/2022 19:19

JuneOsborne · 01/09/2022 13:18

You'll laugh at this, but I have felt this just last week. We were away for a few days and went on a steam train. There were balconies on each carriage and you could stand in the balcony while the train travelled up the mountain.

I stood on that balcony. The sound of the train, the breeze in my hair and on my face, watching my kids experiencing the same and the beautiful countryside meandering by. I felt like I was in an Enid Blyton story. Pure joy.

Oh I'd love that, I LOVE steam Trains...and mountains! Coukd you tell me where it was, please 🌷

JodiMahoney · 01/09/2022 19:21

I had anhedonia for years. I’ve been on HRT for a while and I’m slowly starting to have more moments of real happiness again.

The other day I looked at my adult child and my heart sang because they are brilliant.

My little cat makes me smile

My husband is amazing and I stop and take his face in my hands and kiss him because I appreciate and love him so much.

Ups and downs but at least I’m getting some ups these days after years of flatness.

Bloody hormones!

Suprima · 01/09/2022 19:25

My rainbow baby turning around and grinning up at me whilst breastfeeding. Every time.

I do every night wake with a smile on my own face. No doubt other mums think I’m a smug twat because I’m not moaning about sleep deprivation, but I didn’t think I would ever have her in my arms.

MintyGreenDreams · 01/09/2022 19:32

@Unforgettablefire thanks! She's a mischievous little treasure

Vampirethriller · 01/09/2022 19:32

Wednesday when I left work. It was sunny, I'd had a good day, I like my job- I love having a job after some years redundant and having a baby. I was going to pick up my daughter and buy ice lollies. Perfectly happy.
I have been on antidepressants for quite a long time, it would be a different story if I wasn't.

YukoandHiro · 01/09/2022 19:38

@Adversity That is really lovely. You deserve happiness. I hope life gives you many more years of it

theemmadilemma · 01/09/2022 19:38

I may sound smug, but I've spent the last two years wrapped in joy and blissful contentment every day.

3 years sober, 2 years in a wonderful home with a garden that makes us and our dogs joyful.

I feel blessed.

Fynix · 01/09/2022 20:03

Never, I can't remember ever feeling joy. Since I can remember life has been a hard struggle. Like many I suffer from depression.
I work nights as child care falls on me to pay and sort, partner works days. I'm never appreciated even though I do everything for everyone always made to know that this isn't really my home, long story of me falling yet again for bullshit.
But at the same time I've been a single mum with my first and life was even harder then, son told me the other day his childhood and lack of dad sucked even though I had thought I'd given him everything I could through the struggle.
So I stay with a man that has never taken me on a date, always takes and never gives and watches me kill myself with no sleep because that is more secure then before. So yeah no joy . I also have no friends or close family

MrsNobodyMM · 01/09/2022 20:04

My daughter brings me multiple moments of pure joy every day. Just her little personality and the bond we share. I don't really care about anything else!

theMedicinalPorpoise · 01/09/2022 20:11

Just now, for the first time in I don't know how long. I went and did a hobby I hadn't done in a long time. It made the hairs on my skin stand on end. I had forgotten how that felt.

Simonjt · 01/09/2022 20:53

A few, I mean, I find many little things joyous, I am someone who is quite easily pleased.

A few weeks ago my team won an international tournament, it was amazing, and lifting our trophy was a very very joyous moment.

Our daughter is ten months old, so she is starting to have more firsts, a few weeks ago she crawled for the first time, it was her one and only crawl, but we of course think it is the best crawl that any baby has ever done.

My son had his dance show on Tuesday, he has been so nervous about it, he is really quite shy, so seeing him looking so confident and do so well was brilliant.

My children (well apart from the odd day when they are terrors) bring me joy everyday, watching my husband be a papa is a huge source of daily joy for me.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 01/09/2022 21:03

Don't remember. Not for years anyway. I have ptsd as a result as a violent rape 20 years ago and despite lot of therapy, still have depression/symptoms.

On my "good" days I have low mood and a deep-seated rage. Would leave my life behind in a heart beat even though I know I'm "lucky".

squashyhat · 01/09/2022 21:14

Thank you @Hoppinggreen and @Leftbutcameback Smile

Stripyhoglets1 · 01/09/2022 21:16

Dancing at a festival over the weekend

louderthan · 01/09/2022 22:05

When I'm cantering my pony over the downs in the sun. That's guaranteed.

Came pretty close when I went to see the Prodigy a couple of months back.

Also when I got my job after months of unemployment.

MonkeyPuddle · 01/09/2022 22:11

This morning. My 5 year old ran over for a hug, my almost 2 year old ran to join in and then my mums dog, who we are walking as she recovers from surgery, ran to join in as well. So simple, just love.

SudocremOnEverything · 01/09/2022 22:16

I actually can’t remember… Largely because STBXH has sucked all the joy out of everything.

So I’m rebuilding and working on finding the joy in life again - without feeling like I’m constantly fighting off a dementor.

DinosApple · 01/09/2022 22:34

This evening. It was just a fleeting moment, but it was that moment where DD1 did something nice for DD2 (11 & 13 so not little cuties anymore).

And it was so sweet and a moment of pure joy for me.
I am trying to relish every moment like that because a) they are rare enough- my DC tend to bicker, and b) it feels like the last 10 years have gone in a blink, the next 10 definitely will too.

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