Driving 8 hours to a wedding with a 10 week old baby and a 2 year old

[LondonDave]

Hi

It's my sisters wedding 500 miles away with a 8 hour drive.

My fiancee doesn't want us all to go as she think it's too far away and a long drive plus we would be away 4 days

We will be taking a 10 week old baby and a 2 year old with us.

I've said I want us all to go am I been unreasonable?

It's difficult but if time and money permits I would go splitting the journey half way - I'm guessing it's important to attend and everyone wants to see the baby

It will be fine, you're not traveling to the moon, it's 500 miles. Preferably fly if you can or break up the journey with an overnight stay at the 250 mile mark. It's a your sister's wedding, you should definitely go.

Can you fly or get a train then hire a car at the other end if you need it?

Ps mine both did long journeys at that age, no issues - not sure where this 30 mins max in a car seat comes from. Back when mine were small you could slot the car onto the pushchair so babies spent hours in them. Everything is a balance

Depends. The drive might be manageable with many breaks. A flight would obviously be better.
What about the actual wedding? I presume as you’re so keen to go you plan on entertaining your 2 year old, feeding the baby, changing the baby etc. while your fiancé can have a good drink and let her hair down? Then sure, go for it. If it’s the other way around, then well…

Take a different view of wedding attendance...
Baby won't enjoy it and bride won't appreciate a crabby twisty baby ruining her big day.

Bow out. Send your dp.

Go on the train.

You would be putting the baby at risk of hypoxia because they shouldn't be in the car seat without frequent breaks to change position. You would be putting baby's mother at increased risk of DVT and pulmonary embolism, not to mention the sheer discomfort of being squashed in a car for hours after giving birth. The 2 year old would be miserable being squashed in a car seat all that time too.
YABVU.

Your wife will have baby glued to her the whole time and you’ll be running around after a 2 year old. Enjoy the wedding and go by yourself. I’ve taken young babies to weddings and it just isn’t worth it for anyone.

The journey itself sounds absolutely hellish but who will then be entertaining/ caring for your children during the wedding and reception?

Are you expecting your 10 week postpartum wife to hastily carry your toddler from the ceremony when they start misbehaving (which they inevitably will) and then walk them round the wedding venue while simultaneously feeding your screaming baby so you can watch your sister exchange vows in peace? Likewise, are you expecting your sleep-deprived wife to try (and fail) to keep both children quiet and well-behaved during the wedding breakfast, speeches and reception and miss her own meal when she inevitably has to remove them and feed and change the baby and chase the toddler round an unfamiliar place before trying to get both DC to sleep in a strange room and eventually dining on a couple of cereal bars because that's all she has in her bag, while you enjoy the meal and the bar afterwards?

Weddings with kids are pretty hellish. If they're not, ime it's usually because you've offloaded the hell onto someone else or the bride and groom have generously organised a creche.

And then, after all of that, there's still the journey home to look forward to.

Please don’t put your family through this

Sounds like hell to me!!

If there is any chance to fly I'd go with that option...sorry not read the thread

There is no way on earth I would do that. Not for a wedding.

Meh, seems fine to me. I routinely took my newborns on transcontinental flights/long drives/train rides at that age.

But I was the one who gave birth. My partner could have not made that decision for me for sure.

Guidelines have changed since then, I presume. I did a long drive when dd was tiny. We stopped about every 2 hours. But that isn’t enough now.

No, I wouldn’t go with her again knowing what I do now.

The only way I’d do that journey with kids that age is if someone’s life depended on it.

Spend ages packing enough stuff for little ones, hellish journey there (who’s driving while horribly sleep deprived from new baby?), lots of trying to look after a tiny baby and an overstimulated toddler in an unfamiliar location with few facilities while being watched by my in-laws, followed by another horrible journey back, only to have to unpack and tackle the laundry mountain. Possibly while still recovering from the physical complications of birth (after one of mine I was unable to sit in a car for more than 30 minutes at 10 weeks post partum and I couldn’t drive at that stage either). No thank you.

Since it’s your sister though I think you should go. Alone.

That's bloody ridiculous. It will be hell. Go on your own. Surely he can look after the kids for 2 days.

It just sounds a bit much TBH. Would you be able to go by yourself? Pump & dump?

Nope- can you fly?

So frustrating seeing how many people don't know/don't care about car seat safety guidelines - you're literally putting your child's life in danger by not following them correctly. I hate how people make babies fit their lives whether it's good for them or not..

YABU! No way would a sane person think a 10 hour drive with a newborn and a two year old is ok. If she’s willing to stay home with the kids then I’d bite her hand off. I did a three hour drive with an 8week old and felt like I was losing the will to live, it was literally the worst drive of my life!

You should definitely go to your sister’s wedding. But respect the fact your fiancé doesn’t feel up to taking the baby. Take the toddler if it’s important to you, but go on your own.