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Original poster

Driving 8 hours to a wedding with a 10 week old baby and a 2 year old

73 replies

LondonDave · 29/08/2022 17:16

Hi

It's my sisters wedding 500 miles away with a 8 hour drive.

My fiancee doesn't want us all to go as she think it's too far away and a long drive plus we would be away 4 days

We will be taking a 10 week old baby and a 2 year old with us.

I've said I want us all to go am I been unreasonable?

OP posts:
Regularsizedrudy · 29/08/2022 17:48

Ah 10 week old sorry, but same still applies

HyggeandTea · 29/08/2022 17:49

Will there be a lot of family there willing to help? Will you be staying up late and drinking? Are you prepared to fully pull your weight and have you got a proven track record of doing this?

These are questions I'd need answering (The baby is no problem, we drove our 12 week old to Paris, but the toddler may be hellish esp. as already unsettled by change in family).

bellac11 · 29/08/2022 17:55

It wont be an 8 hour drive, it will be around 12 if you're lucky. Every time we have driven from one end of the country to the other, google or the RAC website will quote around 8 hours, it never is, by the time you factor in fuel stops, wee stops, lunch, traffic, lots and lots of traffic, speed restrictions at 50mph for long stretches

Thats without your stops for the children

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BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 29/08/2022 18:05

Yes, YABU. I would be less surprised if the 10 week old was your first child because nobody really has a clue the first time around, but you've already been through the baby stage with your first child so how can you still think that this is a realistic expectation? It makes me think that you don't do all that much parenting on your own.

Firty · 29/08/2022 18:08

YABU.

That would be very cruel to the children.

The recommended maximum time for a child to spend in a car seat at that age is ONE HOUR. Longer is bad for the development of their spine. Babies need to move around to develop muscle, stay comfortable and grow properly. They will be uncomfortable and cry lots and you won’t get it. The trip would be hell.

Shocked that you have to ask - don’t you have access to google??

Also shocked that the mother has already told you that this is not ok and instead of deferring to her expertise you’re asking internet randoms.

Ugh - go learn how to be a better dad.

DelphiniumBlue · 29/08/2022 18:15

It would be horrendous, unless you can drive through the night, and even then, pretty awful for the mum.
Could you fly? or train?
Or go by yourself and get help for the mum. It wouldn't actually be much fun for her at a wedding, with a newborn and toddler to look after. Possibly doable if you can have a room at the venue AND you are very hands on, and would take responsibility for the toddler.

Ginger1982 · 29/08/2022 18:18

You take the 2 year old, leave your wife and baby at home.

Chewbecca · 29/08/2022 18:25

I would, but I wouldn't do the drive in one go, I'd make a holiday of it.

3peassuit · 29/08/2022 18:29

It would be dangerous to have the baby in the car seat all that time. Either go on your own or take the toddler with you and your partner stays home with the baby.

waitingfordark · 29/08/2022 18:31

I don't think you can actually have a 10 week old in a car seat for that long. Even if you do take regular breaks.

Gazelda · 29/08/2022 18:31

Jenniferturkington · 29/08/2022 17:43

You should go with the toddler (assuming no breastfeeding). Allow time for lots of stops on the journey but totally doable.

Leave mum and baby at home.

Perfect solution. You could be there and back in 3 days, surely.

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/08/2022 18:32

No fucking way. The baby’s wellbeing comes before your need to show off your family. Don’t be daft.

VivX · 29/08/2022 18:33

We drove over 500 miles with a 2 week old plus siblings (all under 6)
We stopped overnight half way - both on the way there and on the way back. Plus other food & toilet stops on the way.
We also stayed over on the night before the wedding and the night after. So 4 nights away in total and made it into a mini holiday.

It was the wedding of friends and so we had no family there to help us, either.
Baby was fine. The other children were fine. And the wedding was brilliant.

RaRaRaspoutine · 29/08/2022 18:34

God no. YABU.

Agadoodoododont · 29/08/2022 18:37

Well if you want crying children for a lot of the 8 hours, risk of motion sickness ( with you cleaning up the vomit though the smell lingers….and lingers ) then go ahead.
Leave the kids at home with a trusted relative or friend?
Or you go alone and have a super peaceful journey playing all the music you want and not endless rounds of the wheels on the flaming bus.

Lindy2 · 29/08/2022 18:38

I'd travel for a couple of hours with a 10 week old but 8 hours! God no way it would be too much.

Go on your own with the 2 year old. Make sure your partner and baby have everything they need before you go.

Xmasbaby11 · 29/08/2022 18:38

Just no way. Not suitable for the baby to spend so long in a car seat and probably difficult for the toddler too.

Go on your own.

TheCutter · 29/08/2022 18:39

Can you go and take the 2 year old?

JustSortYoursefOut · 29/08/2022 18:40

I certainly wouldn't even think of going somewhere that took 8 hours to get there. It would be FAR too much for a toddler, and with a young baby as well? No, you shouldn't all go.

Oblongogo · 29/08/2022 18:42

the journey would be a nightmare and it’s unlikely you’d enjoy the wedding anyway while looking after a small child and a baby. Go on your own and make sure your fiancé has help while you’re away.

orchardgirl4 · 29/08/2022 18:45

It may be possible if you set off at 2am and drive through the night (we have done this, and split the journey across 2 days, took about 10 hours in tot for what would otherwise have been a 6 hour drive). But I think you would still need to split the journey over 2 days - regular stops would be needed for feeding baby and nappy changes etc. It would be easier just to travel yourself.

PurBal · 29/08/2022 18:46

I did 5 hours with a 4 week old. Was absolutely fine but would depend on the baby.

JasmineJJ · 29/08/2022 18:51

Nope. No way would I be doing an 8hr car journey with a 10 week old. I've just come back from a wedding which was a 5he drive away, with a 1 year old and 3 year

JasmineJJ · 29/08/2022 18:54

Oops, posted too soon! ....3 year old, and even that was hellish. None of us enjoyed the wedding and it was exhausting. Go on your own and enjoy it but make sure your partner has enough support at home.

SunnyD44 · 29/08/2022 18:54

The journey is absolutely fine.

I’d advise going during the night or early morning so they can sleep.

But I don’t think the wedding itself is going to be much fun for the DCs and it might be more stressful for you and DW than it’s worth.

Why not go on your own?
(I’m sure I’ll get shot down for saying you should leave your wife and kids)