Page 4 | Neighbour refused to take in a parcel

FishFingerSandwiches4Tea · 2022-08-28T21:09:23+00:00

Obviously it's their right to refuse, but I'm a bit miffed! We've been neighbours for 10 years, and they have taken in parcels for us in the past, as have we for them, although as they are retired and we both (were) working outside the home they've done it more than we have iyswim. Since lockdown we're home 95% of the time so they've not needed to take one for us for a while. Today we were out for 2 hours, and during that time a small (a4ish size if that's at all relevant) parcel turned up from amazon. The neighbours refused to take it. I only know as the next neighbour along took it and the delivery driver told them. I know there's bigger problems etc, but I feel... slightly annoyed and unsettled by it! It seems like a really petty thing to do, ans now I'm worried we've unknowingly upset them in some way. Obviously I'm not going to make an issue of it, but wtf?

Beseen22 · 29/08/2022 08:05

I had to tell my Gran not to take anymore in because she took one in and got so stressed in the process. Sat at the window waiting for the neighbours all day and when they arrived she jumped up instantly to give it to them and fell over the lip of the doorway. A saved trip to the DPD depot is not worth and A&E trip and a broken bone.

Annoyingly they always come the second I step out to do the 10 minute school run. Thankfully the Amazon driver and I are on a first name basis so he mostly just leaves them for me at the door.

AmIDoingItRight · 29/08/2022 08:17

They've probably got big shit going on and can't even deal with the headspace of a neighbours parcel. If they still say hello to you don't worry.

grayhairdontcare · 29/08/2022 08:18

With the option of click and collect or other address I never take parcels in.
I collect mine from the local shop. So I'm not going to accept anyone else's that can't be arsed to organise their time better.

Plumbear2 · 29/08/2022 09:27

FishFingerSandwiches4Tea · 28/08/2022 22:46

I knew it was small so expected it to be pushed through the letter box or left by the front door. Plus when we left it just said out for delivery with a delivery window of 4 hours 🤷‍♀️

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So you knew you had a 4 hour delivery window but went out for 2 hours anyway. You are the CF not your neighbour.

Original poster

FishFingerSandwiches4Tea · 29/08/2022 09:35

Plumbear2 · 29/08/2022 09:27

So you knew you had a 4 hour delivery window but went out for 2 hours anyway. You are the CF not your neighbour.

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I did not ask for it to be delivered to the neighbour. If you regularly stay in all morning for a parcel that should be small enough to fit through a letterbox then yay for you. Not doing so doesn't make me a cf, but thanks for your input 👍

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Plumbear2 · 29/08/2022 09:43

FishFingerSandwiches4Tea · 29/08/2022 09:35

I did not ask for it to be delivered to the neighbour. If you regularly stay in all morning for a parcel that should be small enough to fit through a letterbox then yay for you. Not doing so doesn't make me a cf, but thanks for your input 👍

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Great do what you want but don't then complain if neighbours don't take it for you. I'm guessing this isn't the first time. If one has mobility issues them I'm guessing they are elderly and the partner is taking on a caring role. I'm not surprised they refused.

Original poster

FishFingerSandwiches4Tea · 29/08/2022 09:50

Plumbear2 · 29/08/2022 09:43

Great do what you want but don't then complain if neighbours don't take it for you. I'm guessing this isn't the first time. If one has mobility issues them I'm guessing they are elderly and the partner is taking on a caring role. I'm not surprised they refused.

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If you read my posts, you will have seen that my concern was that I've unknowingly upset them, not a complaint that they didn't take it. Fwiw, I'm a carer too, yet I've never considered that a reason not to take in parcels for a neighbour. Shows how we're all different, as I said.

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Antarcticant · 29/08/2022 09:54

Perhaps there was some reason why it might have been difficult for them at that particular time?

You say they don't go away, but my elderly parents will make a huge thing of even small trips - like, having to pick up a prescription in the morning in their minds writes their whole day off as 'unavailable'.

Plumbear2 · 29/08/2022 09:57

FishFingerSandwiches4Tea · 29/08/2022 09:50

If you read my posts, you will have seen that my concern was that I've unknowingly upset them, not a complaint that they didn't take it. Fwiw, I'm a carer too, yet I've never considered that a reason not to take in parcels for a neighbour. Shows how we're all different, as I said.

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My parents are elderly, one has mobility problems. The other one takes time to get up. But does what needs to be done for the other one. Having to get up twice, once to the driver and once for you we old be too much for my parents so they would refuse. You had a delivery time, so no excuse.

Plumbear2 · 29/08/2022 09:58

Antarcticant · 29/08/2022 09:54

Perhaps there was some reason why it might have been difficult for them at that particular time?

You say they don't go away, but my elderly parents will make a huge thing of even small trips - like, having to pick up a prescription in the morning in their minds writes their whole day off as 'unavailable'.

Exactly this. Well said.

ImustLearn2Cook · 29/08/2022 10:03

I agree with Antarcticant above. When you get older some things that were once effortless become much harder to do.

Perhaps your neighbour is feeling unwell or just has a plain old headache. And they really just don’t want to deal with anyone right now. Even for something so small as a friendly neighbour collecting a parcel.

That’s ok. It’s not personal. It doesn’t mean that you have done something to upset them.

When it’s something like this and you don’t actually know the reason why, then it’s a waste of energy to be making guesses and worrying about it.

crochetcrazy1978 · 29/08/2022 10:18

My neighbour suddenly stopped taking parcels for me for no reason. Professional couple so no reason not to and it only happened once in a blue moon. I thought it was petty as well and now refuse to take them in for them

DumpedByText · 29/08/2022 10:36

This is a non issue, you got your parcel and they may have been going away. Could be worse, my (weird) neighbour took one in for me, it was the first time. He made me go back to my house for the calling card, confirm my address, name and postcode while he carefully checked it all word for word on the package, then told me off for it being delivered there. It was pouring with rain, I was soaked and I told just say no next time! 😂

Plumbear2 · 29/08/2022 11:04

This has actually annoyed me. This is an elderly couple, one with mobility issues. They would have had to answer the door twice, more than likely worried about when you would pick up the parcel. These are genuine worries at that age and can cause anxiety. But you are miffed even tho you had a time slot to stay in and could have had it delivered to an Amazon locker instead. Give your head a major wobble.

Original poster

FishFingerSandwiches4Tea · 29/08/2022 11:16

Plumbear2 · 29/08/2022 11:04

This has actually annoyed me. This is an elderly couple, one with mobility issues. They would have had to answer the door twice, more than likely worried about when you would pick up the parcel. These are genuine worries at that age and can cause anxiety. But you are miffed even tho you had a time slot to stay in and could have had it delivered to an Amazon locker instead. Give your head a major wobble.

I don't know what's made you so grumpy today. I did not ask for the parcel to be delivered to their house. I have repeatedly said I was concerned that I might have upset them. I have said it was a small item that should have gone through a letterbox. Furthermore, I have also said that I have updated my delivery preferences to state that they must NOT deliver next door in future. You are behaving as if I expressly used their address as a delivery address. Go and be annoyed elsewhere 🙄

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jessycake · 29/08/2022 11:16

This might might not be personal to you , but once delivery drivers know that someone is home all the time, it becomes the default alternative address for several of the neighbours and as people have lots of parcels it can get annoying . Its often easier to just say no to the lot to discourage the drivers from knocking.

Plumbear2 · 29/08/2022 11:25

FishFingerSandwiches4Tea · 29/08/2022 11:16

I don't know what's made you so grumpy today. I did not ask for the parcel to be delivered to their house. I have repeatedly said I was concerned that I might have upset them. I have said it was a small item that should have gone through a letterbox. Furthermore, I have also said that I have updated my delivery preferences to state that they must NOT deliver next door in future. You are behaving as if I expressly used their address as a delivery address. Go and be annoyed elsewhere 🙄

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If you put this on a public forum I have every right to be annoyed. You still haven't accepted the fact that you put an elderly couple in this position, your attitude is that they are in all day. That doesn't mean they can take in your parcels. You haven't acknowledged that doing this could be hard for them. You haven't acknowledged that you could have used a Amazon locker or you know just stayed in. Instead you are miffed that them.

Original poster

FishFingerSandwiches4Tea · 29/08/2022 11:30

Plumbear2 · 29/08/2022 11:25

If you put this on a public forum I have every right to be annoyed. You still haven't accepted the fact that you put an elderly couple in this position, your attitude is that they are in all day. That doesn't mean they can take in your parcels. You haven't acknowledged that doing this could be hard for them. You haven't acknowledged that you could have used a Amazon locker or you know just stayed in. Instead you are miffed that them.

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I said they are retired, not elderly. You have made that assumption yourself. I have not put them in any position - I had no reason to expect that their door would be knocked! And AGAIN, my concern was that i had inadvertently upset them, i havent insulted them! Ive said, again repeatedly, that of course its their right to refuse. Now I know they will not accept parcels I have taken steps to prevent it happening again. Amazon lockers aren't a suitable option due to caring responsibilities- in fact the only reason I was out was to accompany a family member to a medical appointment.

Wind your neck in.

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Plumbear2 · 29/08/2022 11:34

Drip drip. Perhaps next time put this information in the OP.

Original poster

FishFingerSandwiches4Tea · 29/08/2022 11:40

Plumbear2 · 29/08/2022 11:34

Drip drip. Perhaps next time put this information in the OP.

How exactly is the reason for me not being in or the suitability of amazon lockers relevant to my neighbours change of heart in taking in a parcel? That is why it was not in the OP. Go and be a GF elsewhere, I'm not engaging with you again.

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PearlclutchersInc · 29/08/2022 13:35

I have mobility problems and thoroughly resent having to answer the door for other people's deliveries - because it's difficult, sore and I'm slow (OH is not a substitute receiver) just because the neighbours can't/won't answer their own bloody door!

RedWingBoots · 29/08/2022 13:42

grayhairdontcare · 29/08/2022 08:18

With the option of click and collect or other address I never take parcels in.
I collect mine from the local shop. So I'm not going to accept anyone else's that can't be arsed to organise their time better.

Some parcels can't be left there.

Afonavon · 29/08/2022 14:28

Christ, it could be a number of things, why assume that it is about you?

Maybe they were in the middle of arguing, sex, cooking, sleeping (or trying to nap), hungover, having a poo, a bath, Covid, flu, in the attic, hoovering, watching something gripping on the tv, had received bad news, were having a bad time, panic attack, hate answering the door, washing the dog, moving the lawn, were in the back garden, hyper-focused on a hobby, showering, having an important conversation, planning their wills…

or maybe they are just sick of taking in parcels.

GlueyMooey · 29/08/2022 14:39

I think you are being a bit dramatic tbh. The declined to take a parcel, that's all. You are reading way too much into it. Perhaps they are having an afternoon nap today or are expecting a phone call and don't want to be bothered. There are a million perfectly normal reasons that they might have declined that don't mean they don't like you or that they aren't neighbourly.

I play a game online that involves competitions where I haven't got time to move away. I have to make sure I pee and get a cup of tea before the competition starts.

Alternatively maybe they just find it a bit irritating. If they are retired it might be that it's not just a very occasional package from you but lots of different packages from different neighbours.

Ohwhathaveidonenow · 29/08/2022 14:40

Maybe they are going out/away, have COVID, are expecting guests, delivery disturbed them as a bad time and they were just annoyed? I'd just leave it.