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Original poster

What would your 16-year-old self think of where you are now?

134 replies

dumbstruckdumptruck · 26/08/2022 20:07

I've been feeling a bit disappointed by life recently – objectively totally irrationally, since my situation is pretty good, all things considered. So I've been trying to imagine how my younger self would feel if I could show her her future.

How do you think your younger self (teenage age) would feel if she could see how things turned out?

OP posts:
Original poster
dumbstruckdumptruck · 26/08/2022 20:30

Dreikanter · 26/08/2022 20:28

The 16 yr old slightly punky non-conformist me would be a bit 🤔 that the 50 something me is now working part time at an historic property and playing golf once a week.

But hopefully pleased at the weird and wonderful jobs that I’ve done and the places that I’ve been. And gobsmacked at being the mum of two boys.

Ha!

My grandad once told me that 'life makes Tories of us all' – I don't know that I believe that, but I've certainly felt the shift to a more conservative lifestyle and I'm not sure how my younger self would have interpreted that!

OP posts:
StopStartStop · 26/08/2022 20:31

She would despair.

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 26/08/2022 20:34

16 year old me was a total failure. Extremely bright but had no confidence, so she never tried with anything.
16 year old me looked in a mirror and saw an ugly, unlovable mess.
16 year old me thought nobody would be with me to even create children, but even if they did I would be an awful mother.
16 year old me heard the words 'if you don't change now you will not amount to anything' 16 year old me believed no amount of trying would change that.

16 year old me would be amazed at where I am now. 3 beautiful albeit slightly mad little girls. A partner who makes me smile daily, worships me as much as I him.
A job in which I am successful in and retaking my exams I failed earlier in life.

16 year old me would never believe I am happy and I owe it all to 16 year old me...she is still very much the loudest voice in my head but every day I prove her wrong.

Only thing 16 year old me would disapprove of is that I still dance on tables with the highest heels but I can't deal with the sore feet or the hangover next day.

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 26/08/2022 20:35

Those bullet points were actually '16'

Hardbackwriter · 26/08/2022 20:38

Oh, she'd be horrified. She thought I would take the world by storm, even if she didn't quite know how. I moved back to near my parents, got married and had two kids and have a middling, unspectacular career. She'd think it was a fate so boring that it would be unutterably miserable. She's wrong, though. I'm deep down happy and content in a way that I didn't even know was a possibility at her age.

ButnotforLola · 26/08/2022 20:39

She would be so pleased.
Surprised that there's 3 beautiful daughters, a great husband and 2 soppy dogs in the mix.
The job is not what she thought. Partly because the 16 year old had just got her GCSE results and they weren't what she had hoped.
She would be bloody chuffed that she is getting to renovate a house.
At 16 she lost her Nan and was so upset at that. She would be very sad to know that her older self is now facing an emotional time with her Dad just being diagnosed with cancer.
All life's curve balls and it is mostly happy.

Fairyliz · 26/08/2022 20:40

She would be impressed with my house (an en-suite only posh people have those) but shocked at my wrinkles, she wasn’t ever going to get old.

She would be kicking herself at messing around in french lessons. She thought there wasn’t any point to them, no one she knew had ever left the country. So she would be amazed at all of the country’s I have visited.

ButnotforLola · 26/08/2022 20:40

Just to add that the job is bloody great and wouldn't be what she thought she could achieve.

FleetingGlance · 26/08/2022 20:42

Disappointed

SommerTen · 26/08/2022 20:42

@dumbstruckdumptruck

I'm actually far less conservative than I was at 16 and describe myself as a Socialist now I'm 46... probably because of how life has treated me... also because I work in a hospital with many chronically unwell vulnerable people, some of my friends have also been dealt a bad hand in life sadly and are poor.

MacavityTheDentistsCat · 26/08/2022 20:43

Amazed to find that she had lived beyond 27, become a mother and learned to speak another language fluently.

Disappointed with the rest.

Original poster
dumbstruckdumptruck · 26/08/2022 20:45

So interesting to see so many of you having outdone your own expectations – and I'm also sorry to hear that there are many of you who feel disappointment.

It's quite the thing, isn't it – the sense of potential and possibility of youth and the reality of how life can unfold. Some of it we have control over, some of it we don't...

OP posts:
Suzi888 · 26/08/2022 20:45

Hugely disappointed in my job choice. Shocked that I earn as much as I do, for doing something that basically involves endless meetings and is as boring as hell. I’m not on the MN megabucks, three figure salary, but we are very comfortable.
I’d walk away tomorrow if the salary dropped.

(Would be happier in a job that involves helping animals, but I don’t have the brains nor the stomach unfortunately.)

Happy that I have a DD, happy marriage, a Labrador (always wanted one).

BlossomsOnATree · 26/08/2022 20:46

OMG she'd be blown away that I have kids, have my dream job (I don't think she'd mind that I'm not rich), and own a flat in a big city. She'd love my cats!

She'd probably be shocked at how late I had kids and that I'm in my 50s with DC still at home. Also 16yo me was madly in love with my first boyfriend and would be sad it didn't work out with him (I could tell her he was a twat, but the truth is I still would Blush). She would not be impressed with my DCs' dad and would call him a beardy twat (she'd be right!) so I think she'd approve of me being single now.

As a PP said she'd be horrified at how much I look like my mum (and I still am horrified now!). But she'd like my style, hobbies and taste.

Thanks for the thread OP as I too have been feeling a bit rubbish about things in general, and this helped. I did get a lot of what I dreamed of.

Original poster
dumbstruckdumptruck · 26/08/2022 20:47

@SommerTen well there you go! Proves my grandad wrong – MY 16 year old self would have been thrilled to hear that (although not about the reasons you've reached that mindset).

I spent my early 20s working in domestic violence refuges, with street-based sex workers and with the homeless, and would never have dreamt I would be investing most of my spare income instead of donating every last cent of it.

Much to examine about where we begin and end – but powerful to see how we change and evolve.

OP posts:
Original poster
dumbstruckdumptruck · 26/08/2022 20:49

@BlossomsOnATree Thanks for the thread OP as I too have been feeling a bit rubbish about things in general, and this helped. I did get a lot of what I dreamed of

This is where I've arrived at.

It's so easy to forget how far we've come, whether it's more or less than what we'd hoped right now, we've all been through a lot and I think that's worth acknowledging.

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 26/08/2022 20:50

She'd be shocked I lived this long. 16yr old me was incredibly depressed and had no plans to make it much past 20.

GeorgeorRuth · 26/08/2022 20:50

Probably gutted that she didn't get to follow dreams, ended up in poverty, with DC although married after swearing she didn't want DC. . The dreams of travel, a career and the income to do it didn't happen. She would feel cheated and deceived after being told when you grow up you can do anything.

coodawoodashooda · 26/08/2022 20:50

Shocked

ultraviolet4753 · 26/08/2022 20:52

Hopefully pleased.

On my 16th birthday, I was convinced I would be living with my mum forever and die alone never having a boyfriend.

18 months later I was moved out and married! No one would have guessed that. 20 years later still together and very happy. The cats we got at the start of our marriage recently passed away.

Still chronically ill, but got qualifications online and volunteered for a charity for a long time until a couple of years ago.

RuthW · 26/08/2022 20:53

She would be proud.

I've done ok

SomethingFast · 26/08/2022 20:54

Appalled. They would have considered it a life wasted, and would have a fair point.

Shitzngiggles · 26/08/2022 20:54

Great question OP, very thought provoking. Odd response from a PP though.
Anyway 16 year old me would be quite surprised and very pleased. Great marriage to same man for over 30 years, 2 amazing kids. Own home mortgage free. Own business in something she would never had dreamt of doing in a million years. The best and most surprising though is the confidence and self belief gained over the years. 16 year old me would never believed that possible.

sthonore · 26/08/2022 20:54

Disappointed that I got married and had children as that wasn't my high-flying independent woman plan (inspired by destiny's child obvs).

Pleased I became a doctor but frustrated that I am at heart a bit of a plodder rather than a shining star. Disgusted that I let myself get bigger than a size and 12 and in disbelief that I don't completely hate myself because of it. I was a bit of an arsehole at 16 though, I feel very sorry for my boyfriend at the time!

LurkingBookseller · 26/08/2022 20:57

She’d be absolutely horrified, and amazed I’m not dead.