What would your 16-year-old self think of where you are now?

[dumbstruckdumptruck]

I've been feeling a bit disappointed by life recently – objectively totally irrationally, since my situation is pretty good, all things considered. So I've been trying to imagine how my younger self would feel if I could show her her future.

How do you think your younger self (teenage age) would feel if she could see how things turned out?

Pretty amazed I think: became a successful lawyer, able to have the material things never thought possible. Had kids - couldn’t really imagine that. On the family front, 16 year old me couldn’t have imagined that my fit and healthy parents would succumb to horrible deaths of cancer in their early 60s - predeceasing some of their own parents (my very long-lived grandparents).

I think they would be sad and disappointed - but actually my life is ok.
But they would have expected more given my potential at that age.

They will be annoyed I am fat and look like my Mum!

Very pleased

Really disappointed.

She’d like my house. She’d like my job, it’s the one she wanted to do, but she would feel I should have got further in my career and should be earning a lot more money. She would be surprised that I have two boys, she expected to have girls, and if I had to have boys she’d have preferred them to be called Gary and Scott. She would be appalled at how much weight I have put on but surprised at how much fitter I am than her even so!

She'd be delighted. And if she knew what was coming in her future, she'd probably have made some better life choices in the interim!

16 year old me would be pleased I have a job in the field I always wanted to go into, and that I have a daughter, but thoroughly depressed by my living situation and low pay. She'd be really happy that I am still in touch with most of my closest friends from that time, but very sad that my best friend when I was 16 broke contact with everyone aged 21 and hasn't been heard from since (she is alive, a friend accidentally came across her photo on a staff page somewhere).

Mostly be very disappointed but also hopefully a bit in awe of what I have survived. She'd not want me giving up either.

Wtf? Probably. But she was a different person and I don't value myself by reference to what a child liked or wanted. Teenagers are not exactly renowned for being realistic, it's all very black and white at that age.

What 'me' 5 years ago wanted was different to what 'me' today is doing or wants. All that matters is looking after the 'me' in the present and making the decisions that are right for her in the present. I can't change the emotions of a person in the past who doesn't exist anymore, I can change mine today.

Isn't this exercise just designed to feed your disappointment? Life isn't a competition, why wind yourself up by treating it like one?

Delighted I would think.

Very disappointed. I sort of still am really - at 46.

Amazed given that I was raised with little expectations.

Super proud. Proud to have an excellent job that she worked tirelessly for and loves, proud of the money she can make without leaving the house, proud of the wonderful children she raised and proud of the very well stocked gin cupboard. However surprised she has a dog and sad about the little part her parents have played in her life.

Pleased I think, lovely house, lovely husband, 2 lovely DC and enough money.

She'd be very disappointed with my job though, it pays well but is very boring and uncool!

Aww, she’d be even more reluctant to emigrate if she’d known she’d lose her mum 5 years after doing so. She was SO worried about life without her mum near by. But the adult me thinks if she could see how content I am with life abroad she’d be happy about that part.

She'd have a fucking fit! Poor lass, she knew bugger all and would have been horrified.

What an odd response.

Says something, I suppose, about what your 16 year old self might have wanted for you, and who your 16 your old self was, so perhaps it does answer my question.

My 16 year old self would have been thrilled about where I am now, and I find it a powerful reminder of how good I have it, given the reality of the hedonic treadmill.

I'm not competing with anyone at all, nor trying to change the emotions of anyone in the past – I'm reflecting on the space between expectation of youth and the reality of life.

She’d be impressed with my family life and lifestyle. Probably a bit disappointed in my career and how fat I am though

I think she'd be pleased with who I married.
Surprised that I only have one child by choice.
Sad at how things have turned out with my mum
Shocked at how things ended with my dad
And disappointed I was so fat.

That’s a really good question! I think she’d feel reassured. She’d be thrilled about the children and pleased about the job and the boyfriend. I think she’d be surprised at the divorce. She’d be very sad about her parents dying in their early 60’s.

She'd be pleased with the house but disappointed with the (lack of) love life, the min wage job, the chronic health problems, the weight gain & the childlessness.

She'd be happy with the taste in music though... still love EDM.

16 year old me would wonder why the hell we bothered doing uni if we haven’t used it at all.

and be appalled that we are going back to college at almost 30 😂.

The 16 yr old slightly punky non-conformist me would be a bit 🤔 that the 50 something me is now working part time at an historic property and playing golf once a week.

But hopefully pleased at the weird and wonderful jobs that I’ve done and the places that I’ve been. And gobsmacked at being the mum of two boys.

Gosh - I'm sorry to hear that.

Certainly unimaginable for a teen – and yet so wonderful to hear that life has been full of positive surprises too.

Massively reassured that I am happy, mostly confident, loved, and able to do things I find meaningful.