My son is aggressive.

[Fordv15]

I have written about my son before. So if it rings a bell that may be why.

Before it's asked yes we are waiting on CAMHS. Yes I do phone up regularly. No its not easy just to call and ask them to hurry up. Yes I'm in contact with Gp.

So my son has been with his sister for 2 days. Just because he wanted to they get on fine generally chill out ect all was fine. He's also been fine with me with general contact.

So he Came home got in at 10.30ish . He seemed fine said his sister was fine . And my grandson was fine. Tone was normal.

So now it's 10.50 he asked me what there is to eat . I told him to look in kitchen. He tells me there's nothing ( he's not looked) his tone being's quite aggressive. He's not shouting but its very aggressive. He's talking down to me in an awful way. I asked him what do you want me to do? He told me to order a food shop. I explained to him I was going to do this but since he moans about what I get I was waiting for him before I actually order. Again he started on me about what can he eat. I told him what ever he can find I'm the kitchen. He said yeah not proper food. I told him that I don't have a magic wound it's 10.50 at night.

As I said he was very aggressive and he was scaring me. My tone did changed it went heigh pitch because I was practically crying by this point. I told him Just to stop that he has no right to come in and start on me how he has he he started screaming /shouting at me . I can't remember the words he said. But he threw a box at me. He got hold of a fan went to throw that at me but changed his mind and threw it towards the TV. He then stormed out of the room went up to my room and trashed it . He's thrown all the drawers over the room and generally trashed it. He then Came back told me he hated ne them He left the house for about 30 min.

He came back went to his room its been kind of quite . He them came back down shouted to me something I did not hear and he left.

Sorry if it does not make much sense I'm typing whilst it feels very raw and emotional. So it might not make 100% sense.

I have reached out to social services before but they can't seem to do much. Because he's 15 there's nothing I can do.

That is exactly what happened. I had actually reached out to social services myself. Before the police issue . Social services have seen my house on several occasions. It did not really matter that they did that it had no effect on me/my family at all. Its just a shame they did not do anymore than that.

@HardRockOwl - agree. You need professional help. You need to engage with social services. Your son who is in the police could help - you need to ask for his support. Fully engage with College - find out what he is studying and where it may take him - maybe a vocational course the following year. Feed him decent meals - show him some love.

Wouldloveanother
The reason I suggest blood sugars is because non diabetic hypoglycemia can contribute to irrational anger. Hypoglygemia tends to expose people to rapid excess adrenaline secretion. This may be due to a sudden drop in blood sugar supply to the brain, causing brain energy starvation. Whenever the brain senses energy starvation it will trigger the secretion of adrenaline from the adrenal glands.

This of course happens in a hypoglycemic dip, when out of the blue (hyperinsulinism), there is a sudden drop in blood sugar levels, threatening the brain with energy starvation. The person is flooded with adrenaline to feed the brain again, but also with the fight/flight hormone. The function of adrenaline is to convert sugar stores in the body (glycogen) into glucose.
His diet and his rapid growth/ hormones of his age means that it could be a possibility. I am not underestimating how much of a struggle you are having but if he knew that when he felt this irrational rage he should immediately have a snack it might reduce the escalation.

My son is showed love he really is. I have said we have a mix of food yes some of it is processed stuff. Some of it is fresh chicken etc. Im not going to cook him a meal late at night.

The things some of you are suggesting is not as simple as you think. Its really not .

My other children are fine they have never ever felt the Need to be violent to me . I do not deserve that I really don't. If he had not been 15 it would have been seen as domestic violence. Just because he's 15 does not mean I am to blame.

I'm.not saying he does not have things going in mental health wise ect . But I do not deserve it .

This.
Absolutely.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience with the police and social services, and that advice/blame is easy to give (from other posters) when you haven't been in these shoes.
It does get into a spiral. I know. I've been there.
Your other children are not like this so it's obviously not something you've done.
I think I would recommend a few things that have helped me.

• try to catch him in a good mood and ask 'what do you think went wrong yesterday? Have you any ideas about how we could stop that happening again?'


• practise walking away with a short, firm answer and not engaging when he gets confrontational.


• tell him that the next time it happens you will ask him to stop and if he does not you will call the police. He will be 16 very soon? They will start to take it more seriously - not necessarily charge him but may arrest for criminal damage. In my case, this did make a big difference - seemed to put the brakes on the destructive behaviour though the my young person still has many issues and is not the easiest to live with. I think you should confide in your older son, honestly.


• look after your own mental health - get out, get enough sleep, treat yourself.


• very gradually, and without expectation that all you ask will be achieved, start to set some ground rules. E.g. Laying the table. Putting the bin out.


• I'd bet he does nothing compared to what you expect of the others! I do get this, but recognise it sets a bad example for all of them and creates more of a monster who can get away with anything.

Yes this is a very good point to highlight. One of my cousins would get into fights pretty much every week. He would just erupt over something tiny and he would constantly be in trouble with school and police. Eventually it was discovered he was diabetic...epilepsy also. Once those things were managed he was like a different person!

Of course it may not be that OP and I'm sorry that you've been going through this, sounds very hard. But I would definitely get him checked over medically to rule these things out as well.

Op you have been given lots of advice on your previous threads.
When he starts his new college you will need to work with them. His behaviours won't have changed, so this time round it's essential you keep him in the system if you are to access help. He will paint the college as 'the bad guys' he will try and manipulate you. You need to go with what the college say, even if you don't agree, do not side with your son, at least not if you want to turn this around.