Keep seeing 'my mum' everywhere since she died, does this happen to everyone?

[Arewerelated]

In work today and for a good 3 seconds thought I saw my mum having a peruse through brochures and things. To the extent that I made eye contact with this lady, gave her a big cheesy grin and took a couple of steps towards her before I remembered that she died last year.

This happens nearly every day, or example I see a lady with a similar hair cut and height, wearing a coat my mum owned and my heart lifts for a couple of seconds before I remember again.

It's just thrown me today how long it lasted for before my brain kicked in.
Does this happen to everyone? How do you cope with it? It's been almost a year since she died and when this happens I become tearful all over again

Normal. I lost my beloved grandad a couple years ago, he was like my father figure and I lived with him when I was small. I miss him dearly and I often see older gents and think it's him. Even more so if I hear them talk and their voices sound similar or have the same mannerisms! I've heard similar voices and had to look twice.

I struggle with going to my grandmas. I still think I'm going to see him walk in and often look out the corner of my eye thinking he's here , when he's not!

bizarre its photos too. I seen a photo come of something in my local town recently and there was lots of people in shot in background for a second I thought the elderly man in the background was him, I had to zoom in!

Yes, OP.
I’ve seen old ladies walking down the street who looked like my mum. And on my dd’s second-to-last day at primary school, there was an older lady leaning up against the fence in the playground in the shade, just like my mum used to when we picked up dd together. She was even wearing similar clothes and hairstyle so the resemblance was very close, at a quick glance. I was so excited to see her, I smiled and held up my hand in greeting as I started heading over and I thought, “what on earth is mum doing here?!” And then remembered she died last year. It is gut-wrenching isn’t it.

This used to happen to me too. It stopped eventually.

Sorry for your loss 💔

I don't see my loved ones who have died, but what I have learned is that everyone's experience of grief is valid, and the stages of grief we are told about certainly don't apply to everyone.

I still see my dad 15 years on, obviously it’s not but when it happens it’s a shock, there was an old neighbour of mine who looked so similar to him that I sometimes avoided him because it upset me that much.

I see dh in certain men too, it’s like a blow to the heart

Weirdly the same thing but not my mum. It's my best friend's mum. She died some years ago. I wasn't close to her but she was like the furniture of a place and she was just 'there' whilst I was growing up. I certainly can't say I loved her like other posters.

Its really weird. I've told my best friend about it and she finds it weirdly comforting. It's like she's imprinted in the very fibre of the place we grew up in. Or she's somehow watching out for my best friend. Plus it helps her because she can talk to me about missing her mum even now cos I kind of 'get it' in a really odd and strange way.

I still occasionally see her walking around her village if I go there. And I have to do a double take. It is like her spirit is still here. Its over 20 years now and I find it really odd that it happens. She was a one off and had really odd mannerisms.

I think it is either an imprinting on the brain or a place. I don't think its her 'ghost' though that would be right up her street to haunt the place.

It must be hard if you have the same thing with over someone you very close relationship with or care deeply about.

Yes I had this, a friend had died too in a tragic sporting accident.
I saw her in in my local shopping street and hurried to catch up with her, I was just about to tap her on the shoulder when, horrified I snatched my hand back as I realised

Sorry posted too soon

I was shaking as I realised she had passed away a few weeks ago and I had even been to her funeral but for a few seconds I was convinced she was there.

Yes happens here too, I see a lady with her sort of figure and hair style in the distance and it stops my heart for a second.

I also keep getting that thing where it suddenly pops into your head 'oh I must tell mum about that ' or I'll think 'oh I'll just ring mum quickly' just for a split second and then I remember and my heart aches.

It's fucking rubbish

I had something like this tonight oddly enough; my nan died a few weeks ago . Was very upset on phone to a friend earlier as I’ve another impending loss coming, and as I came off the phone, sitting crying on the floor - clear as day heard my man’s voice behind me saying ‘don’t cry, my darling’ . Didn’t really frighten me , I actually found it a bit of a comfort, but a bit strange too .

*Nan, not man !

I saw my mum looking at me out shopping today. It was me in the mirror! But it took a few moments to realise this 😢

It did with me for a few months after.. I was still so shocked my dad didn't exist anymore so I wanted to see him desperately. Sending love 🖤🖤

Yes it's miserable. But for me the worst are the very vivid dreams she's still alive, then I wake and feel like the rawness of her dying has started all over again

Thank you everyone ❤️and so sorry for those who have been through it too x thank you for sharing and chatting through this with me

If they could come back once a year, just for lunch or something, that would be OK.

I often hear my mum. It's as clear as day and I look around to see where she is. Obviously it's just my imagination.

My first husband died in an RTA. He went out and didn't come back. A few weeks later I was in our little town on market day, when the market was still on the streets and very busy. I saw "him" in the crowd across the road so I followed this random chap for a good twenty minutes,never quite catching up to this man who looked so like him.
He was 25 when he died, I was 23.
I'm now 61 and don't have a clue how he would have aged so the days of seeing him in a stranger's face are long gone. I still think about that Thursday market day though.

I can understand this.

I’ve also had similar living overseas. I’ll see someone and think - that’s Sheila from across the road. Except it can’t be, because she’s at home in England and we’re 4000 miles away. The brain plays tricks often.

Yes exactly. I lost her quite suddenly and young too, in her 50s bless her. My heart did that happy 'oh mum!' And I was ready to hurry over and introduce her to my friends/colleagues and then boom. Eyes filling up in the staff room.

Some posters have put it so much more eloquently than me but it is the love I think, still burning bright even though the person isn't there to actively love anymore. Just hurts like a bugger!

Yup 8 years since mum died and stil occasionally have to double glance at faces occasionally.

A little bit - not a lot, but, my Mum and Dad both were not untypical of a big group of people their age, so, sometimes I see a man or a woman with a particular build & hair & clothes, and ... I never think it IS them, but that "familiarity click" in the brain certainly happens.

I do get the thing where part of my brain goes, "Oh you should [call X /arrange a day out with X]" or "Why haven't we called X recently?" and even though I will patiently sit that part of the brain down and explain, it is very much like dealing with a toddler who doesn't really understand.
"Remember when X was really sick and in the hospital?"
"Yes"
"And then they stopped breathing and went very pale ?"
"Yes"
"And we arranged and went to their funeral?"
"Yes I remember all that.... So, we should really ring them"
STUPID BRAIN
From my experience after DFiL died, I may still have a year or two of Stupid Brain wanting to ring my parents. Yay.

I look very like my Mum and the older I get, and closer to the age at which she died, the stronger the resemblance. So many times I glance in a mirror or a shop window and think I see her.

Yes, oh my god I thought this was just me.

My mum died in 2006 and it still happens now sometimes, I’ll see someone out of the corner of my eye and just for a second it’s her.

I once saw a woman on the train who was the image of her, and I sat a couple of rows back just so I could keep looking, that was quite a few years ago now, it’s less regular now, but strangely comforting.

Same but different, my gran was an identical twin, so when she passed, seeing my great aunt, who I was also very close to was a very strange experience for a long time.

I've lost my Mother, & my partner of many years this year, both in the same 10 week period. I've not 'seen' either of them (though I'm rural & dont get out much tbf). But the Dreams! Only of my partner not Mother (she was awful to me, right to the end). Is he 'visiting' me in my sleep, or is it just wish fulfilment?