Engaged after a year ...married under 2 years...am I rushing?

[gethesuitcasefromthevan]

Hi I posted a thread the other day and had some responses how I was moving too fast.
Me and gf (same sex relationship) have been together a year.
Moved in after a few months.
I thought she was gonna propose on 1 year anniversary...she didn't
So I'm going to propose to her with the hope of getting married next July (so 20 months together)
I've been told we are rushing things
Basically just want to know what people think?
Is it too fast ?

It sounds incredibly quick. What's the rush?

Does it feel too fast?
Anecdotally I married my dh after just six months together and 17 years and two kids later with lots of ups and downs we are still together
My dsis on the other hand married her ex husband after four years together a year long engagement and they split up a few years ago
Many people will have opnions but only you can decide.

I think it's fast. Why are you so eager to marry her?

How old are you both? What the situations? Do either have kids etc?

It would be too quick for me, not a chance I would say yes.

But if you are both a bit older and quite mature, know what you want from life and don’t have young kids to worry about (if it fails) financially equal and it feels right, it’s up to you. There’s only you to deal with the fallout if it’s not working.

Marriage one: together 8 years then married,
lasted another 2 years.

marriage two: met in Feb, pregnant in June, engaged the next feb and married in the September. That was 15 years ago, still very happy!

What's the motivation?

DH and I got engaged after 3 years together, married after 4, and we've just celebrated 6 years and have a baby now. That felt right to us.

I wouldn't personally marry someone after being together for 20 months. I'd want a longer engagement than that, and I don't believe you can fully know someone in a year, so I wouldn't want to be engaged that early. But that's just my opinion. Do you know how your girlfriend feels? Does she know you thought she'd propose? Has she suggested she's ready?

Everyone will feel differently about this based on their own experiences and those of their social group. DH and I got engaged in our early twenties after just over 1.5 years together and married just over 2 years together. However in the church circles we mixed in this was completely normal and no one batted an eyelid.

my DH and i were engaged after 1 year and married a year later. We are celebrating our 6 year anniversary this year (so together 8 years now) and whilst life hasn’t always been easy (2 dc, job changes, house moves etc), we knew very quickly how well suited/matched we were to each other. I had also been in two long term relationships before him (4 and 6 years) and felt very ready to marry him in a way my other partners had not made me feel (age and circumstances likely played a part in that).

I always used to wait 2-3 years before marriage (been married three times) "just to be sure". They still turned out to be awful in different ways.
I just don't think you can tell in the early years whether they are any good or not whether you've been with them for 6 months or three years.
It takes a few years of living together before the cracks appear. Which is why I won't get married again.

We married quickly(2 years) but were already committed in that we had a dc and I was heavily pregnant with dc2 when we married.

The important thing here is your girlfriend, if she wants to get engaged and if so does she want to be married so quickly. If that’s what she wants too then crack on.

She has a grown up son (19) and had been happy just her and her son ..now son has moved out and we live together -so the next step feels like marriage.
She has said she met me at the right time (when she was fed up with just one night stands ) so we are both on the same page.

I don't understand the questions of what's the motivation? what's the rush?

if it feels right it feels right. as someone previously said it can be quick and last or you can wait and wait and it doesn't last.

Nither is a guaranteed route to longevity of a relationship 🤷‍♀️

I've with dh 24 years if it ended tomorrow I won't lament the fact I moved in with him after a week and engaged after 3 months. same as if it had ended after 4 years of being together, I'd say I did what felt right at the time.

She's 40s I'm late 30s no kids

We were engaged after less than 2 years and married after 3 but we were mid thirties so “getting on a bit” in terms of wanting kids etc. Many friends of mine were together for around a decade before marrying.

my parents were married within 4 months of meeting and now married for 48 years. But things were different then!

depends on a lot of factors I think.

I would find it too quick, personally.

I wouldn't move in with someone until at least a year in, and then at least another year of living together before getting engaged.

We got engaged after 4 years and married a year and a half after that. Felt about right for me.

We were married about 22 months after meeting, been together for about 20 months. We were 23 when we got married.

Currently working out what we want to do for our silver wedding anniversary.

Me and DH were together 4 months before we got engaged. We were married 9 months later. We had known each other years though. I don't think there's a right amount of time, if you feel it's right then go for it

I moved in with DH after three months, engaged by seven months (not sure why we waited that long really, we both 'knew') and married after sixteen months. We've been married almost twelve years and still going fine.

Sounds like you think it's too quick which is why you're questioning it?
Do you feel secure in the relationship or are you looking for reassurance?

If you're happy as you are then why not enjoy it as it is. There's plenty of time for marriage.

If you feel its time then propose. Discuss the wedding date after the proposal..

If you feel it's right then OK as I see it.

The one thing that would have been a red flag to me would have been if there was a wide age gap, but this is not the case with you.

I think it’s too quick. I think it takes much longer to get to know someone properly. A lot of relationships are great after a year.

I was engaged to DH after 6 weeks and married within a year, we've been married 27 years. I never questioned it though. If I was asking options on if its too fast I wouldn't be doing it

Depends how old you are and how many previous relationships. Similar timeline with my husband but I waz 32 and he was 38. We'd both kissed frogs and just "knew" this time it was different.

We were engaged after a year and married 9 months after that. Now married 11 years and pretty happy for the most part. Plenty of situations have tested us but we are still strong. I don't think it's too soon. Your gut will tell you.