Engaged after a year ...married under 2 years...am I rushing?

[gethesuitcasefromthevan]

Hi I posted a thread the other day and had some responses how I was moving too fast.
Me and gf (same sex relationship) have been together a year.
Moved in after a few months.
I thought she was gonna propose on 1 year anniversary...she didn't
So I'm going to propose to her with the hope of getting married next July (so 20 months together)
I've been told we are rushing things
Basically just want to know what people think?
Is it too fast ?

It all depends. If you are questioning whether it's too soon, then it probably is. I married DH about 16 months after we met, we were in our early 20s, and it felt right- 14 years later we're still here going strong. Whereas some other couples we know who got married quickly are divorced and on their 2nd marriages in the same timeframe. So it completely depends on your relationship. DH and I didnt live together before we got married, we did wait a good few years before having kids though!

It really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks OP!

It's quick, but if you're both older and have had previous serious relationships then I don't think it's necessarily too quick.

If you're proposing to your partner, though, it's fair for her to have an equal say in the wedding timing - if she says yes then the two of you can work out the timing together.

How can you hope for a wedding in July when she hasn't even said yes yet?

That's true we are older and had previous relationships.
I really can't see her saying no.
My plan is to propose November and hopefully agree on July date and have 8 months to plan the wedding

I don't understand the questions of what's the motivation? what's the rush?

I can't speak for everyone but I asked what the rush was because the OP seems to think it should be all happening a certain way. She expected her partner to propose after only 1 year and when it didn't happen she's now decided to propose and seems to have already planned when the wedding will take place.

It all sounds very fixed and tick box like moving from 1 thing to another instead of allowing the relationship to be organic and a proposal left to develop naturally.

Why are you so keen to get married in July?

I think it completely depends on each individual situation and the people involved, as well as maybe sometimes just being lucky maybe! I moved in with my husband after being together for 3 weeks and we got engaged after a year. Married now with a toddler and another on the way and we're happier together than ever. Sometimes I do think you just 'know'. Best of luck to you and your gf!!

My aunty is coming over in July to the Uk and that won't happen ever again ..be great if she was here for wedding

That’s really not a good enough reason to rush a wedding imo.

I met & married DH within 14 months. Married 31 years this year.

I think it is fast. I read (ages ago) that the happy/love hormones that you get in the first rush of love can take a couple of years to run out. So I think it is worth waiting until that has passed before making any very long term decisions... unless you are in a rush to e.g. have kids.

I do want a baby yeah.
It would be me carrying it as she has a son from a previous relationship...and I would love to experience it.
Obviously it's gonna take us longer to have a child so I don't want to wait forever
I'm just craving stability

Propose to your girlfriend. If she says yes go from there to fix a date. One step at a time. This is about the marriage not the wedding.

Has your relationship been tested at all yet OP?

I always think it’s a good measure of its durability if you’ve had to face adversity together and can be sure that you’ll always have each other’s backs and will pull together in times of adversity.

It’s nice (and easy) to believe that this will be the case in all relationships, but there’s nothing like knowing for certain before you hitch your wagon to someone else in marriage. It often happens that people react to challenges in a way you couldn’t have anticipated.

Have you discussed this with her?

I moved to another country after 6 months to live with my now dh. We were engaged after 15 months and married when we were together 2 years. Still happily married 13 years later. It can work.

I don't think there's such thing as too quick!

When you know, you know - no one other than you and your partner have a right to comment or judge!

My husband proposed after 18 months, we bought a house a month later, and married a year later!

It’s such an individual thing OP. I had several short term relationships before I met DH, a more serious one where I moved in with the guy & a couple where I thought I could have been engaged. DH & I met on a well known online dating site. I was 35, he was older. We got engaged after 9 months & were married after 14. It felt absolutely right so we didn’t see the point in hanging around.

Married for 32 years now, we were together 18 months before we got married, lived together a few months before the wedding didn't bother with an engagement. Still happy 😁