Tell me about living in France

[Footballmatchdilemma]

I really enjoyed the threads recently about Germany in Switzerland, and I’m coming to the end of a holiday in France. Everything seems so lovely here -the people are endlessly polite and charming, the towns are clean and the roads are empty (if expensive due to the tolls). Nowhere seems as crowded and stressful as the UK.

I can’t live in France (thanks, Brexit and also my terrible school girl French), but if I could, would it live up to my fantasies (in which I would also be tall, willowy and have an amazing French accent)?

I lived in France for a few years in my early 20s (so around 2005-2010). I lived in Paris and also in Brittany. It was OK but everything was very rigid and there was a lot of red tape and bureaucracy that pissed me off.

I also got loads of hassle in the street and sexually harrassed, particularly if I dared do something as extreme as go jogging.

I lived in Paris for a couple of years around the millennium, and I remember it fondly for the most part. I agree with previous poster about the sexual harassment though, it was horrific and I can't see that it has changed much although in the later years I have only been there for work and not lived there. I was young and carefree when I moved there but I had so many scary experiences there that I think it altered my view of men for the rest of my life.

Having said that, I am sure if you move to a more rural area you will probably not have the same problems.

I lived in Paris for a bit in my 20s.

I enjoyed parts of it but as the PP says it’s a very rigid society compared to the UK - you study something and that’s your career for life. Parties are really boring and so are clothes - it’s very conformist compared to the uk. The red tape is awful. The sense of humour is lacking. It is a whole bunch more sexist and racist than the UK.

Friends I have who still live their find it tough it’s hard to work pt, and they think the schools are a bit soul crushing - there is very little sense of developing the whole person.

There is obviously LOTS to like about France before anyone jumps on me. Life balance is way better. But it’s not all wonderful.

And the food is better in Italy

and the restaurants are better in London

Live THERE

Oh! That doesn’t fit with my fantasies at all🤔

I do actually agree about the food. the food is fine but nothing amazing.

The hypermarkets though…oh I can spend hours there!

Shame about the sexism. I can see how though, it seems like a very traditional society and I suppose old fashioned
sexist views could be part of that.

I lived in France in my 20s. I agree with the comments about sexual harassment. I was followed through town and around shops, I was flashed at it the swimming pool and I was sexually assaulted at a bus stop on the way to an exam. A friend sometimes couldn't get into her apartment building as a man was sat on the steps wanking. Delightful.

The streets used to be covered in dog shit but that seems to have improved in recent years.

It is very conservative, both in terms of dress and societal roles.

Despite all that I love going there. The countryside is beautiful and Paris is iconic. The food and wine are great. I love that most towns and villages still have a market in the village square and people wander around with their fresh baguettes.

I have a friend who is living that life in rural France.

They bought a long time ago when prices were dirt cheap. They paid off the mortgage many years ago. They live a simple lifestyle - no keeping up with the Joneses type shit - but have everything they need/want. She is retired essentially at mid 40's, and gets to enjoy her days in her garden and writing. Or enjoying the pool.

There's pretty good ex pat pockets in places if that's your thing. I mean you'll always 'roast beef' to some of the locals, but as long as you don't care, it's nothing.

DH is French national so our retirement life is the simple life there too.

With you on the hypermarkets, and they do a great line in posh frozen (Picard I love you). But I think foreign supermarkets are often exciting - every visitor I have loves trip to Waitrose.

they must have sorted out the dog shit problem because I haven’t noticed that at all. Where I live in the UK the streets are filthy and in France they are super clean.

I live in rural France. Been here three years and absolutely love it.

We get short, mild winters and long hot summers.

I've been surprised how much goes on and I'm generally out twice a week.

I've really landed on my feet with neighbours, an odd mixture of filthy rich Parisians and agricultural types. The kindness is astonishing, they really look out for me and have helped me integrate. It probably helps that my French is pretty good.

The restaurants aren't great but are improving. I love eating out in Paris and it's a lot cheaper than London, but less cosmopolitan.

I'm beyond the age of being hassled in the street but generally find the men charming and I'm certainly not invisible like I was in the UK.

Downside ? Administration and clothes shopping !

Dog shit is now worse in the UK than France - I agree the streets there are immaculate.

I have friends from the UK who have been living in a French city for 20 years. They have a lovely lifestyle - both are fluent in French, they have secure jobs with lower hours than here and they have French citizenship. They will never return to live in the UK, having spent the majority of their adult lives in France. They don't have DC though so haven't had to deal with that aspect.

I always look longingly in estate agent windows when we go over. You can get so much more for your money out there and it has always been a dream of mine to retire to France. Much harder since Brexit of course and I have been put off by tales of red tape and admin, especially if you own property there. Although getting a doctor's appointment in France was much easier than in the UK!

I've lived in France.

I agree with bureaucracy, hierarchy (eg you must play the game eg butter up the local mayor to get anything done) and sexism / sexual assault (I also was assaulted)

Rurally I found the pace of life slower, much less buying of stuff, longer meals, long days with family just catching up, very generous hosting, a focus on eating locally and seasonally, children allowed more freedom. Also more smoking and more drink driving. Roads certainly less safe than in the UK. I struggled to enjoy French tv.

A typical day for me at the moment:
DH brings me breakfast (fresh baguette or croissants) in bed before cycling to the gym.

I sit out in the hammock in the shade of the mulberry tree in our garden, alternating between reading, watching the bees and looking at the blue sky through the bright green leaves.

I go in at about 11 to enjoy the coolness of the sitting room (thanks to the huge thick stone walls) and close all the shutters and windows.

For lunch maybe I'll make some pesto from the forest of basil I have growing in the veranda, to have on spaghetti with some freshly picked sun ripened tomatoes. For desert we might have a slice of Cavaillon melon or some juicy nectarines, all local.

In the afternoon I have a siesta and maybe watch something on Netflix (it's too hot to go out unless you're going shopping, everywhere has aircon).

For supper we might go out to the local pizzeria by the river, and then go into town for an ice-cream and some live music (VERY hit and miss on that front).

We get home about 22h or 23h, open all the shutters and windows and take DDog out for a walk before having a drink in the garden and going to bed (under a mosquito net with a fan in the window).

We came here last year.

I miss easy veggie food, extra mature cheddar, Hellman's mayo...erm oh and the availability of some spices that bizarrely you can't find here like mustard seed (mustard itself is limited to 2 jars per person at the moment) and curry leaf which I used all the time in the UK. But with some digging around you can find mature cheddar and because I grow so much of our own food and mainly cook from scratch each day the veggie food is getting less of an issue the more I'm growing. I still miss Quorn but have just found a shop here that imports it so buy a large batch every 2 months or so.

It is quieter, cheaper and we came here for a bigger space to live in, the house is twice the footprint and the garden 10 times as big as our UK house, for half the cost. The cars are more expensive but the fuel cheaper. Our electricity has gone up 4% whilst who knows what the costs will go to in the UK. No gas here but we have oil if we need it, but for the costs of the oil to fill it, I'd get enough wood for about 3 winters and the wood burner heats enough in the winter. We turned the oil heating off in Feb and if we need more heat it would be cheaper to just get 2 plug in rads.

Trains are a bargain but the stations are 45 mins away. But then again, I've sat in traffic for longer in the UK to get to a station that should be 9 mins from home. I've yet to get into a traffic jam here at all.

We are in the middle of the country so no beaches, however loads of lakes with...beaches on them.

Swings and roundabouts. More heat but more bugs. Less people but less shopping opportunities. More bureaucracy but things go at a much slower pace anyway.

But I've just had the tastiest nectarine I've ever had, from a basic tray of nectarines from the supermarket. Wine and coffee are cheap and good.

I wouldn't trade it right now for the UK, not in any way.

Good and bad points IME. When I lived there the French locals use to joke that the English Expats fit into the 3 Ds. DRUNK, DIVORCED OR DEAD! TBH it did seem like this! I can't wait to move back to France but 15 years ago I couldn't wait to move back to the UK! What is different for me this time? No young kids as they are all off to University. I'm older and generally growing more like Victor Meldrew every day. I yearn for a simple life, and more solitude and I feel like my last great adventure will be getting our house in France self-sufficient for our kids' future (they all have EU passports). However, I've told them once we are dead and buried it's up to them what they choose to do and to feel no obligation to accept the French house. In all honesty non of us know what the future holds and recent events have demonstrated any control we feel we have is precarious at best.

I think LaChatte sums it up really well.

There's a lot more focus on family, friends and food here, and just "being " is important. The importance of seasonal food is funny, I know exactly what I'm going to get to eat when I go to friends !

I feel very protected by the state, they were very quick off the mark with cost of living and fuel subsidies.

@LaChatte yes please, I would like your life. Perhaps will start taking French lessons and try and find away around the brexit issue…

alors op! Tu dois immediatement recherche les threads sur Francois a few annees ago on mamans net

je suis sure that your Francais will improvement

Roads certainly less safe than in the UK

Perhaps, depends where in France you are and locally it's certainly darn site safer if you are on bike than it would be generally in the UK.

What is the Brexit issue for you?

You need an income, a visa, a place to live and medical insurance for the first year.

I lived there for 15 years and returned after Brexit.
Food is better in the UK, Spain and Italy in my opinion.There is much less variety in France outside the main cities and it's generally heavy and meat /cream centred.
Eating out is restricted by a narrow window of time. Don't even think of turning up at a restaurant for lunch after 1.30.
Supermarkets are much more expensive than here in the UK.
Bureaucracy was (and still is) an absolute nightmare even though we are both fluent French speakers. Rigid rules about almost everything!
On the plus side we had wonderful helpful neighbours and a real community spirit with regular village meals.
We don't really miss it.

@AlisonDonut well, the income would be the big one. No chance of doing what I do abroad with only my pigeon French 😩

I’ve lived here for 13 years. Love it. Pace of life, food is important, not rushed and excellent quality, great importance placed on fresh and seasonal ingredients- none of my friends buy fruit or veg from the supermarket, much discussion about the best place to buy fresh food and vegetables. Streets very clean here. People are friendly and seem to love how I speak French and it seems to make it easier to make friends. Main positive for me is being able to be outside and I have lots of sporty activities that I never would have believed when I came here. I am far from sporty! Most people seem to to a lot of sport. Never found a problem with finding people to do things in house like is often spouted - in fact have found the opposite. Family important and long lunches and evenings in garden with all the family very prevalent.

Obviously is not perfect, I miss my family, restaurants while good only in the last few years is there more choice of different types of restaurants - is getting better though. Maybe bureaucracy but I don’t mind it too much since know how it works. While I speak French well sometimes can be a barrier but can also be opening because people want to know where you are from etc. Don’t have any involvement with expat community, did when I arrived but not for me.

I briefly lived in France. I speak fluent French with no accent (genuinely - I'm not British).
I would never want to live there long term. People are so bitchy once they trust you and consider you "one of them". If you or your child has any kind of special needs / allergies / etc forget it; there is zero consideration for this as a society. There's a lot of pressure on looking the part, not being overweight etc.
Basically - if your face fits in you're accepted. Otherwise good luck.

I'd much rather live in Spain although that has its own issues.