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Original poster

Scared of local man, not sure what I can really do

43 replies

freaked0ut · 18/08/2022 16:48

I live in a small rural everyone mainly knows everyone type village. I keep seeing the same man when I walk the dog or take my son to the park and they’re making me increasingly paranoid. The first time I encountered them they said hi, were dressed all in black and had their hands in their pockets. Looks mid 20s to 30s. I walked past him on the path down to the park, so we were walking opposite directions. Later on in my walk he appeared behind me, which didn’t make much sense as it was a circular walk so he must of changed direction. I waited and let him over take me as I was getting nervous about him being behind. The next area was through some trees so I waited 15 minutes before walking through just to be cautious, when I walked through he was stood in the tree bit and when he saw me he started walking back so he passed me again and was behind me. At this point I just bolted to the main road. I saw him again a few weeks later and similar story, walked past again he said hi, again all in black, saw him twice more on the walk once walking past me and once appeared behind me. It just feels like knowing these paths well that he has to be choosing to turn around and also sometimes waiting for us to see each other when we do. It happened again a few nights ago I saw him, I changed direction myself this time so didn’t see him again and thought I’d escaped him but then on the little path back to my estate he was there. He said for me to go on and I stood and said no you go so he wouldn’t be behind me. I know he doesn’t live on my estate. I did look behind me a lot but wonder if when I changed direction he did too and followed me there. He walked off the path ahead of me but very slowly sort of not going anywhere so I speed walked to the other side of the estate and when I couldn’t see him went back on to the main road and round to my side of the estate so he wouldn’t see what house I went in. At this point I don’t know if he’s just a bit odd on walks or if there’s something sinister but I do get a really bad feeling when ever I’ve crossed paths with him and have felt frightened. That night someone sent a picture of someone similar stature all in black asking if anyone knew who it was in the estate group chat. I messaged them privately with a description and they said it was him. He had been found sat in this mans car on our estate (he didn’t know him it just unlocked so he let himself in) the police were called and they said it was an “individual suffering a mental health episode” and that was the end of it. I just feel frightened that I’ve had these weird run ins with him and the one time I see him and he appears stood on the path to my estate and then that night is found still on my estate having a mental health crisis. It might just be a guy having a hard time but I can’t help but feel threatened and scared to walk around my own village. I’m not sure what to do? Can I approach the police, it’s not a crime for him to walk around his own village I get that but I just get such a bad feeling.

OP posts:

tootiredtobother · 18/08/2022 16:54

i didn't get past a few lines as I was so scared for you, this scenario has happened to my daughter, do not brush this off, its basically stalking. go and tell the police in person and describe him as much as you can and think of where there might be security cameras that could have got a shot of him. if you see him again try and get your own photo of him

Original poster

freaked0ut · 18/08/2022 17:06

I felt like I might be overreacting but the latest thing with the mental health episode just felt a bit too close for comfort. The police are aware of him due to what happened the other night so perhaps they can help. I will get in touch with the non emergency line thanks

OP posts:

Dogsinpajamas · 18/08/2022 17:07

I would report what he does to the police. If you usually walk the same place at the same time switch it up a bit so you are less predictable.
The police may well say they can’t do anything as he’s done nothing wrong but I would push the fact he is changing direction to follow you, and you are scared by his actions and changing your behaviour to avoid him. They know who he is because of the car incident, they may feel it’s enough to give him a harassment warning if he carries on. It depends how lucky you are with who you speak to unfortunately.

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Spooky & paranormal

Hallmark1234 · 18/08/2022 17:09

This definitely seems unusual behaviour to say the least.

Can you change the times of day you go out, making sure it's when there are lots of others around at the time?

5511551l · 18/08/2022 17:10

Worry that you’re overreacting or won’t be taken seriously is such a common thing, but as an outsider I’d definitely say report that. It seems more than coincidental that you’d bump into him repeatedly in improbable places on one walk, let alone multiple times. Hopefully there’s a non-threatening explanation but you’re not overreacting.

PuttingOnMyBestBra · 18/08/2022 17:10

Change your route for a bit if you can and walk with someone
Don't take any risks

petshopboys · 18/08/2022 17:11

I would report to the police as his behaviour sounds very odd. Better to be safe than sorry.

tsmainsqueeze · 18/08/2022 17:11

I know should not have to do this but i would not be walking at all anywhere even slightly quiet or lonely, if possible i would not be walking alone at the moment either and i would insist on talking to the police.
I would be describing everything you have said here and i would also be keeping a diary.
He may be suffering an episode but he is intimidating you ,possibly others and you have no idea what his intentions are , your needs are just as important as his.

sorcerersapprentice · 18/08/2022 17:15

This is quite alarming. I would report to the Police again. If they get another complaint from another individual, they make give him a formal warning

LadyEloise1 · 18/08/2022 17:19

tsmainsqueeze · 18/08/2022 17:11

Absolutely spot on.
Take care OP.
Trust your gut.

ProperSorryFrown · 18/08/2022 17:20

You are not overreacting op.

picklemewalnuts · 18/08/2022 17:21

Shake up your routine. Don't be predictable. Try and walk where there are other people. Report to the police.

If you do see him on a walk, get your phone out and speak to someone on it. Consider just sitting down or standing still until he chooses a direction. Then go the other way.

Use social media to ask whether any women would like to form a walking group, so you can have company on walks.

KittyCatsby · 18/08/2022 17:24

I know it's not an actual help , but perhaps one of those high decibel panic alarms might frighten him off if he continues to spook you or approaches and hassles you. Also ensure you carry your phone in your hand.

Sartre · 18/08/2022 17:41

Gosh, this has given me the creeps. The advice to try not being predictable is great advice. I read it in an article in a runners magazine once and it sounds entirely sensible to me. It was all about women staying safe when they run alone and the first thing was not to run the same route at the same time every time just incase someone is watching. Sounds creepy but it does happen. So if you can shake up your routine at all then please do this.

I’d also avoid cutting through the park/trees for the time being, try to stick to main well lit roads. If you can walk with a friend then even better. I’d 100% contact the police regardless fwiw so they have a record of it if nothing else. Perhaps invest in a rape alarm.

foxychox · 18/08/2022 18:09

Absolutely trust your gut and report, remember Julia James....

Blue4YOU · 18/08/2022 18:10

OP - do you live in a village being with W?

Mischance · 18/08/2022 18:17

Most police services have community police officers - there is one here. I would contact them and ask for him or her to share a walk with you and show you what the problem is - they could then walk the route themselves and keep an eye out.

Even if this poor man is ill, you are not over-reacting to find it scary and to wish to do something about it.

Something similar happened to my DD at uni - we were worried sick for her. Police were involved and they caught him and read him the riot act - it did not happen again. He left the area.

TokyoTen · 18/08/2022 18:25

That doesn't sound good, I'd be really suspicious. Could you go with a friend? Change your route? Wear a body camera for a bit to capture him unobtrusively? If you were with someone would you feel brave enough to take a photo with him in it? Has anyone else seen him around and is he local? (Sorry if you mentioned this I couldn't see it).

swimlyn · 18/08/2022 18:31

Your experiences should be added to the police file that will have just been created following the car incident. Help the police to build a picture.

He may be fine, he may not.

2bazookas · 18/08/2022 18:32

The police said mental health episode, an MH episode is not a MH crisis.

The sensible thing to do is report to local police that you've had several creepy experiences of the same man ( as car sitter) following you on walks . There may be other people making similar reports and it helps police build a picture.

Do you have a neighbourhood watch group? Worth mentioning it to them too.

BreatheAndFocus · 18/08/2022 18:40

Report him to the police. I once reported someone for similar behaviour and the police paid him a visit for a ‘chat’.

mnahmnah · 18/08/2022 18:47

If everyone who encountered this man in similar suspicious circumstances reported it to the police, it builds a case and the police will take it more seriously. You should absolutely log it with them.

BlueReindeer · 18/08/2022 18:53

Report him to the police and that you know it’s the same man already reported. Describe everything you’ve told us. They are already awar if him and you need to tell them. He is following you no doubt about that. Also let someone in real life know exactly this

longtompot · 18/08/2022 21:59

I'm sure this isn't in your area and this isn't what this person is after with you, but the police in this case said the man had been seen hanging around the area before the attack. It's always best to report these things, I would have if I had seen someone behaving the same you said the man near you was.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-62591702

Justtootired55 · 18/08/2022 22:40

Many years ago this happened to me. I let him overtake me but he was waiting for me somewhere quiet and assaulted me. The police said he was known to them for similar incidents but in the psychologists view he wasnt capable of rape. Like that made it ok. I gave up my evening job as I was too scared to walk home and it made me ill. Please don't take any risks. Tell the police about this persons behaviour as others have suggested. Take care.

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