Scared of local man, not sure what I can really do

[freaked0ut]

I live in a small rural everyone mainly knows everyone type village. I keep seeing the same man when I walk the dog or take my son to the park and they’re making me increasingly paranoid. The first time I encountered them they said hi, were dressed all in black and had their hands in their pockets. Looks mid 20s to 30s. I walked past him on the path down to the park, so we were walking opposite directions. Later on in my walk he appeared behind me, which didn’t make much sense as it was a circular walk so he must of changed direction. I waited and let him over take me as I was getting nervous about him being behind. The next area was through some trees so I waited 15 minutes before walking through just to be cautious, when I walked through he was stood in the tree bit and when he saw me he started walking back so he passed me again and was behind me. At this point I just bolted to the main road. I saw him again a few weeks later and similar story, walked past again he said hi, again all in black, saw him twice more on the walk once walking past me and once appeared behind me. It just feels like knowing these paths well that he has to be choosing to turn around and also sometimes waiting for us to see each other when we do. It happened again a few nights ago I saw him, I changed direction myself this time so didn’t see him again and thought I’d escaped him but then on the little path back to my estate he was there. He said for me to go on and I stood and said no you go so he wouldn’t be behind me. I know he doesn’t live on my estate. I did look behind me a lot but wonder if when I changed direction he did too and followed me there. He walked off the path ahead of me but very slowly sort of not going anywhere so I speed walked to the other side of the estate and when I couldn’t see him went back on to the main road and round to my side of the estate so he wouldn’t see what house I went in. At this point I don’t know if he’s just a bit odd on walks or if there’s something sinister but I do get a really bad feeling when ever I’ve crossed paths with him and have felt frightened. That night someone sent a picture of someone similar stature all in black asking if anyone knew who it was in the estate group chat. I messaged them privately with a description and they said it was him. He had been found sat in this mans car on our estate (he didn’t know him it just unlocked so he let himself in) the police were called and they said it was an “individual suffering a mental health episode” and that was the end of it. I just feel frightened that I’ve had these weird run ins with him and the one time I see him and he appears stood on the path to my estate and then that night is found still on my estate having a mental health crisis. It might just be a guy having a hard time but I can’t help but feel threatened and scared to walk around my own village. I’m not sure what to do? Can I approach the police, it’s not a crime for him to walk around his own village I get that but I just get such a bad feeling.

You absolutely shouldn’t have to make changes to your routine but I really think you should, at least for now. There’s no way I’d be walking that way again if I thought he might be there. I’m struggling to think of a legitimate reason for his actions.

Thank you all, yes I will I’ve said to my husband I won’t walk in the village at all for the time being and will drive somewhere before walking the dog. There’s one main road running through the village and everything else is little side lanes cutting through fields or along a stony beach and nowhere is ever busy, it’s a very quiet village so there are plenty of opportunities for someone to get away with things. I will contact 111, I worried they might say something to him about someone feeling threatened and if he is only happening to act like this changing directions etc with me then he’d know I reported him and could make things worse. Perhaps it’s totally innocent. Just freaked me out. It’s not Manchester like someone asked, it’s rural Wales so it seems unlikely anything would happen here but I just get a very bad feeling from it.

Julia James was murdered in the woods in our community. She'd seen the bloke hanging about a few times and had even mentioned to her husband that he was a bit weird. Trust your instincts. Sorry that doesn't provide any solutions.

God that’s just awful, and terrifying. I’ve got a little one and another on the way it’s worrying. My husband started saying earlier we live in a quiet village and he might be creepy but he won’t be dangerous and I can’t just never walk the dog here I’ve said I damn well can. I’m not going to walk around here at all for the foreseeable. I loved this sleepy, quiet little seaside village and now it’s giving me the creeps only since that night have I even started locking the doors, it did feel so safe here.

Do report, they'll very likely have a chat with him.

Report to police.
Specifically point out that:

1. the following/stalking behaviour could be in breach of conditions he is supposed to comply with e.g. if he's on probation.

Repeatedly changing his direction to follow you- potentially predatory.

2. this appears to be a repeating/escalating pattern of behaviour towards you specifically, so there are Safegueading concerns for your safety and others.

Ring the police and report this. It is serious.
Please don't take risks- don't walk anywhere quiet or at night when he could be around. Stay in public spaces, open spaces, well-lit and where there are other people, roads, buses.

I have seen this type of behaviour in the past on one of my walks years ago. Definitely report it. I never walk the same way at the same time every day. I mix it up deliberately.

Agree with the other posters but ignore your husband. Men just. dont. get. it. (And it really gets my goat that they can't have a shred of empathy for their most important loved ones for just one moment and actually support you in your concerns).

To add to the excellent advice you already have it is worth downloading the Hollie app. You can set it to send an alert with location if you shake it, if you pay it goes straight to the police. It does need mobile coverage though so that is a consideration as you're rural.

Sorry you are going through this op. I think your plan to drive out of the area for walks is a good one. If you walk locally make sure your dh is with you. How horrible that you have to do this, but its better to be safe. Is there neighbourhood watch in your area? We had problems with a druggie family who were placed in our village. The locals set up a FB page so people could report what they were up to for the safety of the community, as lots of us were robbed by them.

I work in mental health very closely with the police. This is absolutely reportable.

He's exactly the kind of person I'd assess.

Speak to the police. Sometimes it's the only bloody way they get help. Your gut is telling you something, don't ignore it, ok?

You will be taken seriously. If you want to PM me we can talk more. I can't give too many details about what I do on here (and that's really not about me being self important).

We had someone like this locally, he followed female joggers and dog walkersand then took to jumping out of bushes to scare them. He was arrested more than once and finally jailed for breaching orders banning him from certain areas. Got out last week though so we will eee if he starts up again. It's horrible how one man spoils things for a whole village and not just women, I had to tell my sons to stop going out for walks in certain places in the evening in case they inadvertently frightened women or were mistaken for him.

I'd definitely report it to the police and say you believe it to be the man with mental health issues who has already been arrested for a different offence. X

Please report this and please change things up, as you're planning, even though it's a pain to have to do so when you have what should be a lovely local walk. I feel scared for you and want you to be safe, as does everyone posting.

Please don’t let him ‘having a mental health episode’ sway your opinion in what you should do next, I can’t think of any mental health issue where a symptom is stalking woman, so we’re clearly talking about the psychotic ones, and sometimes they can be dangerous and you should not have to live in fear, but please take the precautions you need m, this sounds terrifying for you, but report to the police and take safety measures, even though you shouldn’t have to you need to.

Horrible things can and do happen everywhere in the world. I've seen enough true crime to know. You should always be careful and safe, no matter where you are. You should definitely be locking your doors and same for if you're sitting in your car on your phone or waiting for someone etc.

I do hope you have alerted your local police by now @freakedOut
Do you have a Ring doorbell or some kind of surveillance of your home back and front ?
Also a hand held "rape" alarm for out and about.
Awful I know that we women have to think of these things.