How do I make a lovely charcuterie board?

[TitaniasAss]

I'm going to a friend's house at the weekend and we're all taking something to spread the cost. I've asked her what I can bring and she's suggested a 'lovely charcuterie board' so I need ideas on how to make it very lovely but simple at the same time. Thank you!

Gluten free is a big deal if you've got a proper coeliac attending and I'd imagine they wouldn't risk eating something prepared by someone else in a kitchen likely to have gluten cross contamination.

Maybe check on that as GF person might bring their own !

and who is is bringing what stuff too. Charcuterie - fancy for 10 will cost a fortune! Is everyone a meat eater too- might be not

I think it'll need to be massive because we are all a bunch of gannets!

@Nekomata I only know that one friend has been asked to bring 'pretty little desserts' and another 'a selection of artisan breads'. The £££'s are ringing up in my head now, we've all been asked to take wine too, which I normally would anyway, but we are not exactly flash with the cash right now!

Is the hostess planning to provide anything at all?

Perhaps I'm being a cynic but is this all a ploy for Lovely Hostess to not have to do an awful lot bar waft around fancily in her posh new house?

I get spreading the cost as pennies are tight but surely if you ask folks over you shoulder the most cost/time? Or alternatively you all agree on a course your happy to bring in advance?

Some of the above ideas sound delicious on a less grumpy note

Honestly, I think this sounds perfect.

I hope you have a great weekend!

I love a grazing board. Hostess may have originally specified charcuterie, but surely most people would understand that a variety of colour textures and tastes is what makes it?

There are lots of pictures on Pinterest if you need inspiration.

Please don’t do the grazing board thing where everything’s all mixed up and topsy turvy, it looks so unappetising and “fiddled with”, ditto the suggestion above about a meat rose 🥴

Wooden board. As much meat as you can afford, in rows. Some cheese. Rows of cornichons, figs, walnuts, vine leaves, grapes, olives, whatever. Someone else is bringing the artisan bread so don’t bother. If you go budget on the food you can make it all look expensive by sprinkling micro greens or tiny edible flowers on top. But frankly with a host making such specific demands I’d just buy a pre-made platter!

Here's one that looks amazing and it has a list of what to buy plus a guide on how to put it together. simplyhomecooked.com/how-to-make-a-charcuterie-board/

Looks like it would be good for 10 people unless you're all ravenous, it wouldn't be enough for a main meal for you all but fine for picking at as a starter. Can you split the cost with another guest? Also, can I come, sounds like it's all going to be delicious!

Lol is the 'host' providing anything

This is so weird! I would find it crazy rude to be given such "instructions" if she wants a fancy charcuterie she should make it as the host!

what is the hostess providing then, of meat/dessert/alcohol provided by guests?

Well leaving aside the fact that your friend sounds like a bit of a CF(!), Morrisons actually does a really good value charcuterie thing with a selection of cured meats.

when I have lots of guests I love to a big antipasto platter (I provide this for my guests and everything!) I put on it:

• selection of cured meats
• selection of cheeses
• pate
• marinated anchovies
• smoked salmon
• selection of chutneys
• peppers marinated in oil
• olives

that sort of thing is maybe what your friend needs.

I don’t actually have a problem with people bringing stuff but in that case you politely and gratefully thank them for whatever they bring, not insist on a particular type of fancy!

Means not needs!

https://www.gutsyglutenfreegal.com/easy-gluten-free-charcuterie-board/

This looks quite nice

www.stephgaudreau.com/ultimate-gluten-free-charcuterie-board/ or this

I tend to get some meats, cheeses, olives, grapes, nuts, bread, crackers, fresh and dried fruit, chutney, humous, pretzels and if you airfry chickpeas with seasoning they are amazing. It doesn't have to cost a fortune you can add bits you already have in the fridge aswell .

Well, you've drawn the short straw @TitaniasAss as a charcuterie board of the type the hostess has requested is going to cost a lot more than a loaf or two of naice bread.
The gluten free message will rule out ordinary scotch eggs for a start. Keep your additions to gluten free salad items, such as radishes tomatoes celery grapes figs.

What is the hostess providing besides cutlery?

Search ‘charcuterie’ on Pinterest. You will find a plethora of ideas for which foods to include, but also how to present these beautifully. You will also find advice as to how much of each food to provide per person.

I would ask what other people are bringing. You already know you don't need bread, someone else could be bringing cheese. I love a bring and share supper but this does sound like the hostess is pulling a fast one.

😂😂

Sorry, been at work. Well apparently the hostess is supplying a 'tasty surprise'. She also posted a meme on the group chat that said 'let's dance on the tables and drink fizz' 🤣. She is honestly lovely but I think her posh house is going to her head a bit, but so what she's worked hard for it. Someone's bound to tell her on Sat night when they've had too much booze.

If you’re getting salami or other sausage based things, double check that they are gluten free. Pure meat products should be fine, but anything that has been bulked up could have gluten in.