Can anyone tell me how they got the worst time in their life? I’m at my lowest ever and can only see darkness

[Treeeaj]

Just that really. Broken relationship. Blaming myself. Pregnant and feel exhausted and scared for the future. Anxiety is spiralling. I have had to cut hours at work. I am desperately alone.

Ive had bad times before but I am in darkness this time.

Honestly I sort of put my head down and battered through it, but that’s not a very good plan tbh. And it was a different sort of dark time. Keep posting and reading here for a start.

Medication tbh. Do you have a support network at all?

Think of this
lettersofnote.com/2009/10/08/it-will-be-sunny-one-day/

Try to focus on the little bright points in the day, like a pretty flower or a bird song, or smiling at something

Antidepressants tbh as well

Good luck op. This too shall pass.

Taking it each day at a time. Maybe even each half day at a time. Make sure you are drinking enough water - drink a glass now. Make sure you are eating enough, make it easy and simple, even toast or fruit. Just keep on. It will pass.

I'm sorry to read this, I've been struggling a bit recently too, although I think the menopause is making everything much worse for me. I don't have any word of wisdom to offer, but I've got some therapy starting, could you look in to this? And I have been trying to read/listen to inspirational stuff. Mel Robbins is great, could some meditation help. I know though that when I am at my worst, there seems no solution to my life, but that feeling does pass, so that's worth remembering and worth focusing on.

Medication, talk therapy. Being open and honest with someone you know. I was very depressed and signed off work. Was struggling badly. But I did get through it. Life did get better. Find someone who will be there for you. Focus on what positive you can control and just maybe the baby can bring you purpose and joy - whilst also accepting it will be tiring. Your body is coping with a lot emotionally and physically. Be kind to yourself

Wow thank you for the replies!! @AdamRyan @ClutterofStarlings @HailAdrian @Tabasco007 @icklekid @rattlemehearties I love the letters of note.

I am putting off medication as I’m pregnant but I think I may have to try it at some point. Life feels incredibly bleak and lonely.

I’ve had therapy and sometimes it helps but mostly I leave feeling like I’m just back to usual life and nothing has changed in the long run.

Im so said I am alone in pregnancy and life just feels unbearable really, with no future if that makes sense. Sort of seems like this is now it for me and everything is finished, my wings are clipped

I've been going to therapy for 3 years. I'd be dead without it.

It's £40 a week, and it's prioritised over clothes, nights out, holidays. It's the only way I've been able to carry on.

I left my husband of twenty years due to DV. I had to leave behind my then 15 & 12yr old DDs. I was homeless and living out of my car. I attempted suicide but with the support of my colleagues I got through. It wasn’t easy. I’m now three years on in a relationship with a beautiful human being living in a lovely house with a worthwhile job, with plenty of holidays and good times. My youngest daughter visits often but sadly my eldest daughter cut all ties with me. My life is very bitter sweet and even now I have good days and bad but sheer determination and a thought that fate has a plan for me sees me through.

throughout my life I’ve seen shit times. Was sexually abused, went into foster care, experience gang rape and violence you only see in movies. Was pimped out at just 13.

but somehow I always bounce back and get through it. You have to be strong, but admit it’s ok not to be ok and accept help that’s offered

I am still working through mine, DH died in February after an awful battle with cancer then a debilitating stroke. Life feels very bleak a lot of the time but I try to look for something in every day that brings a chink of light. I am managing without medication at the moment. I get up and out of the house every day. My next big hurdle is going to be moving my 2 year old on to his forever home in the next couple of months, he has been with me since he was a few weeks old and was here right through DH's illness, diagnosis, stroke and death. I keep trying to remind myself that life will feel more normal again one day but until then I just have to keep on taking it a minute at a time.

There is a future out there honestly, it's just hidden round a bend at the moment

I’ve sent you a pm x

Could it be the change? Do you have friends and family to talk to?

(The change that a baby and the end of a relationship will bring)

@Tabasco007 just reaching out. Menopause hit me at the same time as covid and I'm having a brutal time. Had a break down in Feb and had two months off work. Anyhow wanted to say to anyone having a hard time you aren't on your own.

Medication. Therapy.

it’s the wrong time of year for this but I also used to sit at my door and look at the trees. It was early spring so I watched the leaves develop day by day and kind of just reminded myself that time moves on and things change

I took each day an hour at a time and I tried to have a plan for each day. This really helped me feel in control of my life but it did mean I sort of shoved my feelings aside to get on with things. As soon as I started to feel like I was wading through the days and getting somewhere I had the strength to go to the doctor. Then I got a course to do which really helped and after that things got better to the point I actually enjoy life again.
I'm sorry you are feeling so low.
Going to the doctor's really helped me.

I have been to the doctors but basically been put on a list for 6 months!! So I don’t feel that helps much they don’t seem to take it seriously at all

I think to myself that today isn't as bad as this time last year, and it isn't as good as this time next year. Trite, I know. I was in an abusive relationship (emotional, financial, occasionally physical), had multiple miscarriages, not able to find work in my chosen field, manipulative friends who monetised my skillset for their own gain. It was shit. But it did get better.

For me, I focused on my DD. I wanted to work towards it all being better for her. We are getting there.

Crying helps me. Massage and spa day. Remembering that the pain will stop…eventually. Distracting myself with tv box sets.

You may feel alone but soon you won't be. You will have a wonderful baby to care for that will be 100 percent yours and you can parent 100 percent how you like, no compromise. Things happen for a reason. Many people struggle with a young child and break up later on. You have the gift of raising this ba y exactly how you want. I know it doesn't feel like it now. Why did you break up if you don't mind me asking? What specifically is it that is making you feel so down and can you find any silver linings at all.

Honestly? I 99% wanted to kill myself but 1% just wouldn't let me and I then had a spiritual awakening ( dark night of the soul) and some therapy and everything kind of got better.

I had to accept the pain was part of the journey and that it was only that, a journey.

Deeper than I can explain in words on here really but it got better and quite quickly too.

Darkest hour before dawn and all that.

Hope things improve for you OP.

I would not resort to antidepressants or anxiety pills until all other methods have been exhausted to be honest and unless you are clinically diagnosed. You sound like it is a rough time but it will get better, it always does. Take long walks, find gentle exercise/yoga which is safe when pregnant, meditation always helps, as do positive affirmations and gratitude. Find support groups/ local groups for interests you share. And most importantly, learn to "get out of your head more", don't let your brain sink into negativity, stop the moment you feel you falling into it.. I am 100% sure you can cope!

Deep breaths, headphones on and listen to favourite music.

Sit in garden or park (in the shade !) and just watch flowers and trees swaying in the breeze.

Write down all the things that are stressing you out. Put a line through those that are outside your control.

Make sure you eat (little and often may be better) and drink plenty of water.

Talk to your supporters- family, friends, Samaritans if really low with dark thoughts.

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling low. It sounds like you're looking for a way to improve your current situation. While everyone's experience is different, there are some common ways to make the best of a bad situation. Here are a few suggestions:

-Talk to someone who can help you see things from a different perspective.

-Identify what's causing you stress and see if there are any steps you can take to reduce or eliminate it.

I just wanted to acknowledge your post.