Wtf? Weight gain - I seem to be putting on 1-2lbs per month

[MrsHood]

I’ve put on about a stone since Jan. My diet hasn’t changed. Am early 40s, 5ft 6in and as per my scales this morning - now pushing 12st was 11st at Xmas.

My Diet is what I’d consider “average family cuisine” - think weetabix, toast, porridge or yoghurt and fruit for breakfast, sandwich for lunch, dinner ranges from spag bol to salads, home made curry/chili con carne to roast veg, snacks are mainly fruit with the odd packet of crisps or choc bar. So whilst it’s not super healthy, its not at its super awful either. I don’t drink much (never at home, only socially so about once per month on average).

My sleep is a bit all over the place and i have a desk-based job so am quite sedentary and don’t find it easy to make time for exercise.

Is this just the curse of the famous middle-age spread? Is it 2 years of working from home, sitting down a lot with an “average diet” now just catching up on me?

It’s just going to keep on heading in this direction isn’t it, unless I make some fairly drastic changes…. Which is, ugh, what I find overwhelming and then beat myself up.

Send help and donuts

I eat plenty of carbohydrates. Just not refined ones. So pasta and bread and rice is out. 90% of the time, and if I do have it, it’s only one serve (so not pasta and a sandwich that day). But mostly, I don’t have it.

I am similar. I started HRT last year and within six months had gained a stone. I still haven't managed to lose it and I am still gaining. I am finding it very difficult to shift. I eat so much less than my family but it is clearly still more than I need. It is depressing. I am 48. Sorry, not much help.

It could be the start of the menopause - or also could be the amount of carbs you're eating! That's a very carb-heavy diet.

Try switching from cereal/toast for breakfast (but stick with the yoghurt - as long as it's full fat and natural not flavoured), or have eggs of some description, and stop snacking on fruit - choose veg instead, so celery/cucumber/peppers.

For your evening meal try and avoid those centred around pasta - like bolognese/chilli - and make it a protein-centred meal that you serve with plenty of vegetables/salads.

For your evening meal try and avoid those centred around pasta - like bolognese/chilli

... should also have said to avoid rice as well!

It’s not just weight btw. I find if I have pasta, bread etc, especially in the middle of the day, by 3pm I can’t keep my eyes open. I don’t really have a weight issue, I could put on 5kg and still be in the healthy range. If I eat refined carbs (or too many) I put on a couple of kg, and I also have less energy. I’m through menopause.

Increase your steps. Whenever I’m on a work call that doesn’t need a video or screen for data etc I walk around. Either indoors or outside. I try and aim for 15k steps per day. If I don’t do this (recently hurt my calf) I gain easily. I have a Fitbit so can see an estimate of how many calories I’ve burned per day and not moving around much I burn 500 cals less per day. That’s 1lb gain a week so it’s easy to gain weight

You don't need doughnuts, you need HRT. Welcome to middle age.

Sadly, weight does seem to creep up as we get older....... though I do wonder whether you may inadvertendly have upped your calory intake?

Based on my experience, as someone who never had a weight problem until i hit the menopause, it's easier to take control if you take control sooner rather than later.

Firstly, you need to get active. Walk more, and at a fair pace, so you get out of breath a bit. Wear ankle and wrist weights to make the effort pay more. Also exercise 20-30 minutes most days. Get a pair of 2 or 3 kg dumbbells, a strong resistance band and a mat. Look up Lucy Wyndham Read and Growingannanas on YouTube....... and just start doing it. You will feel better!

Second, overhaul your diet and focus on lots of lean protein and tons of vegetables. Limit carbs, especially refined carbs, as much as possible. No sugar and no snacking. Keep a food diary, because it's so easy to eat more than you think.

As I said to start with, if you knock this on the head now you'll be set for the years to come, as opposed to struggling as so many older women seem to do.

I went through a stage of having cauliflower rice instead of real rice, and salad instead of spaghetti with bolognese, so perhaps need to look at that again. Not a big egg fan but could prob tolerate scrambled. Problem is my shit sleep makes me tired and just grab whatever is easiest. Ok less fruit. I have always had a sweet tooth…

I think moving more is going to be key. Just looked at my average steps on my phone (I have an Apple Watch) and it’s less than 3k per day. That’s not good is it.

I’m seeing a (new) gynecologist next week (I live abroad so special doctors for everything!) so could maybe mention all this to her right? Worried I might cry though, I’m not used to looking after myself or getting sympathy. Beating myself up and not changing habits is waaaay more comfortable!

Ok will redirect my My Fitness Pal account and start logging - being desk based this should be ok to start up again.

Totally agree about proactively getting on top of it. But I feel like I’ve been saying this for years yet I’m still waking up at 12st this morning. Ugh.

DH is in charge of dinners and is totally lacking inspiration so I need to help him out here.

I wouldn't worry too much about the exercise. Although it's very good for our general health, as a way of losing weight it's not the most effective.

And please don't cry!

Do you have kids? How old are they?

@BIWI i know, but I think getting outdoors, accessing sunlight on my skin, and fresh air, and moving more has to come in to it.

And honestly I feel weepy now even just writing this thread. Not good at asking for help. Add a bit of shame in to the mix for getting to this point and I reckon I’ll have at least a wobbly chin at the docs next week.

2 kids, late primary age.

I didn't say don't do any - just don't expect to shed weight purely through a bit of exercise!

Yes, it's very good for us, especially if you have a sedentary lifestyle.

And stop feeling ashamed! You're being kind to yourself now, which is the most important thing.

Shit sleep could be the reason on its own. Don’t beat yourself up! Is there anything you can do about the sleep situation? It’s the absolute bedrock of maintaining a healthy weight (Google it, there are some amazing studies which show how subjects in trials who were deliberately woken up ate excess calories the next day whereas subjects who had a good sleep did not).
I’d also say try to avoid refined carbohydrates - they’re high in calories and low in fibre and nutrients. Go nutrient dense so lots of natural yoghurt, eggs, veg, lean protein and then moderate amounts of fruit, nuts and seeds.

Rangan Chatterjee’s book Feel Great Lose Weight is excellent and easy to follow. Not a fad diet just about setting up a healthy lifestyle.

The reason I ask, is that my kids’ (3 of them) job is to clear up after dinner. That means maybe you could go out for a 30 - 40 minute walk? I agree with BUWI, you can’t outrun a bad diet, but 10k steps is as good a target as any if you don’t really exercise.

I totally get you OP, I went from a retail job working shifts to a desk job in Jan, thought it was the best thing ever, however I used to exercise around my shifts and now I do nothing but sit on my arse all day.....Ive gained 6lbs whilst doesnt sound much I am the heaviest Ive ever been, also gaining weight around my middle which Ive never done in the past so feel generally fat and shit ...... yet im seem to lack the kick up the arse to actually do something about it 😫

I feel your pain! In your 40's, you need to eat less in order to maintain your weight.

I eat carbs once a day now. When I do eat rice or pasta, it is never more than a cupful. At least half of my plate is full with salad or vegetables.

My only exercise is walking but I enjoy it and it keeps my legs trim.

I am about the same height as you and 11 stone. I could eat anything until my early 40s. Now I need to stick to a very low carb diet and walk a lot to keep at that weight. Just one sandwich and it all comes on around my waist.

When I was in the office more I ate waaaay less bread but it seems to have crept back in to being a staple in our day to day eating.

My nemesis is rice, which I love. Sometimes I just want to give up this unequal struggle and get really, really fat. Unfortunately, I am also vegetarian, so I can't go low carb easily. If you eat meat or fish, it is far easier.

I'm in a similar position. Also 5'6. Mid-40s. I've never been over healthy BMI in my life except when I have had a baby in me! But since the start of this year the weight has just been piling on. I've put on 9lbs and all my clothes are tight and uncomfortable. I'm really pissed off as during lockdown I got back into running and was in the best shape I have been in years and then the start of this year it all started to go wrong. Peri-meno is rubbish.

Exercise does help with weight and it can be walking, dancing around kitchen, cycling anything. Any time you need to take the car can you walk or cycle instead? So it’s part of your normal life rather than something extra to fit in?

All calories are not equal. Your body uses different foods in different ways and weight will come from processed foods. 100 calories of fresh veggies will not add weight the same way as 100 calories of processed sugar.

This is what most people don't realise and concentrate on how many calories they have and expect weight to fall off when they are in deficit, but it doesn't. It's because it matters the quality of the food we eat.

I know few listen to this and I sit here as living proof, having lost excess weight by streamlining my diet to be 90% "good" food, fresh, raw, nutritious.

As we get older, especially if we've filled out long intestine with animal matter over decades, and if we've consumed lactation into adulthood - our bodies get less and less good at processing it all and excess weight piles on.