Wtf? Weight gain - I seem to be putting on 1-2lbs per month

[MrsHood]

I’ve put on about a stone since Jan. My diet hasn’t changed. Am early 40s, 5ft 6in and as per my scales this morning - now pushing 12st was 11st at Xmas.

My Diet is what I’d consider “average family cuisine” - think weetabix, toast, porridge or yoghurt and fruit for breakfast, sandwich for lunch, dinner ranges from spag bol to salads, home made curry/chili con carne to roast veg, snacks are mainly fruit with the odd packet of crisps or choc bar. So whilst it’s not super healthy, its not at its super awful either. I don’t drink much (never at home, only socially so about once per month on average).

My sleep is a bit all over the place and i have a desk-based job so am quite sedentary and don’t find it easy to make time for exercise.

Is this just the curse of the famous middle-age spread? Is it 2 years of working from home, sitting down a lot with an “average diet” now just catching up on me?

It’s just going to keep on heading in this direction isn’t it, unless I make some fairly drastic changes…. Which is, ugh, what I find overwhelming and then beat myself up.

Send help and donuts

Get your thyroid checked, an underactive thyroid is very common in women, and can cause to to gain weight more easily and can cause insomnia. So its worth ruling that out at the same time at the doctors.

At one point I put on three stone in two years without changing diet or exercise. Turned out to be my thyroid, so would be worth getting yours checked.

@MrsHood - I know you're feeling down but believe me, I used to be you! But it took me just a few months to completely change my diet and my attitude to exercise, and this has changed my life. Quite a few years have passed since then and I'm now in my 60s and I am fitter than most women half my age.

It's true that you cannot outrun a bad diet, but being active rather than sedentary is an important first step. It changes your outlook and motivation and truly makes one less likely to succumb to sugary and carb-filled temptations.

So I'd say........
Cut out all ultra processed foods
Eat mostly lean protein and vegetables
Plus a little dairy (especially yoghurt) and fruit
Drastically reduce refined carbs. Eat lentils and quinoa instead.

And wear those ankle and wrist weights while you go about your daily business. After a short while you won't even notice them and they do make a difference. Your bones will thank you!

Regarding sleep, I occasionally use various sleep aids - herbal capsules, Benadryl or a muscle relaxant. It's important to vary them so one doesn't become tolerant or dependent.

Thank you all. I will speak to the gynae next week and try not to cry.

The kids go back to school soon so that may help with sleep and routines and exercise.

I’m a bit stumped for lunch ideas. I need quick hassle free options. Even salad feels too much of a faff compared to a cheese and pickle sarnie. Grab and go. I need to accept that I need to spend more time preparing healthy meals and snacks don’t I?

I found this at exactly the same age and it happened again at a few years intervals as well. I had to drop my food intake to match the weight again and also increased the exercise. Food is the main factor though, 80:20 ratio with exercise in how much it affects you. Just think of dropping 100 calories a day for a month to see how that goes - it makes a huge difference and you don't need to go on a severely restrictive diet.

Those tinned tuna cans with added flavour…. Tomato, lemon pepper etc are good. I also adore those vacuum packed smoked mackerel fillets you can buy. Throw some baby spinach and chopped tomato on the plate, maybe some grated carrot, and that’s lunch. If you’re working from home though, the easiest lunch is last night’s leftovers.

Easy lunch?

I panfry several chicken breasts at a time - usually just a few extra when I'm cooking dinner. I keep them in the fridge (easily keep 2-3 days) and add them to a mixed salad. Salad is often just bagged lettuce/rocket plus a few cherry tomatoes and cucumber.

I make up a bottle of my own dressing and keep it in the fridge - lemon juice or apple cider vinegar, plus a little balsamic vinegar, EVOO, salt and pepper, plus a few chili flakes.

Sometimes I add a few herbs for variety - parsley, mint or basil.

If I'm hungry-hungry I add half a cup of lentils or chickpeas. Again, I cook a panful of them at a time and keep them in the fridge.

I was always put off taking salad for lunch thinking it had to be one of those massive pots of leaves and chopped up stuff that people
plough through. I don’t like loads of leaves anyway so I don’t know why I thought that! Now I just get a pot with sections and bring cherry tomatoes, a few slices of cucumber, some cheese or meat, and assorted stuff from jars/pots like olives, gherkins, pickled onions, sun dried tomatoes, seeds, slices of apple etc and just graze on that. It’s the same meal more or less but without feeling like you’re a cow chewing your way through a heap of grass.

You need to move more, and look at your portion sizes. Exercise and how much it helps with weight loss is different for everyone

I am 44 and have put on nearly two stone, having always been a very slim 8 stone and eating what I want with no care.

I think it's the perfect storm of menopause, shift work and a more sedentary job but I'm not very chuffed about it 🧐

We're moving house in the next few weeks and once that's out the way I will be on a mission to at least stop the gain initially. I'm hoping a nice dose of stress with the move and DS heading off to uni will cause a little weight loss, but I seem to have become immune to that as well ☹️

Easy lunches: tin of butterbeans mixed with chopped cherry tomatoes, cucumber, spring onions and any fresh herbs you like (parsley/coriander/mint/chives), olives if you like them, lemon juice and salt and pepper, teaspoon of olive oil. Keeps for a few days in fridge and is a lovely easy salads.
I make big batches of mini egg quiches (no pastry) using silicone cupcake cases - beat 6 eggs with any filling you like (I use smoked salmon and chopped broccoli most often but tomato and mushroom works, bacon, anything chopped fine and a handful of parmesan, salt and pepper) they take 10 mins in oven and you can freeze them and defrost a couple at a time, lovely warm or cold. They keep in the fridge 5-6 days too so if you don’t mind eating the same thing a few days in a row then 15 mins work could be days of lunches.

when I’m really pressed I have a tin of fish mixed with a tablespoon or two of cream cheese spread onto a slice of rye bread with cucumber and tomato. Really does take 3 mins to make.

I also roast two trays of veg (aubergine, courgette, tomato, red onion, peppers) with dried herbs, garlic and salt and pepper and then have that as a salad with some leaves and maybe some chicken (again batch cook 4 breasts in air fryer and slice, throw a few into lunch each day for 3-4 days)

Oh, I like the sound of those mini egg quiches @Gensola

I made it through the appointment without crying!

Gynae thinks I’m not approaching menopause just yet (based on the fact I’ve started spotting, coinciding with my Mirena coil reaching its best before date).

She thinks more exercise, watch my diet and possibly remove the Mirena and see how I feel without it, before deciding to have another. That way I can really see how periods are in terms of being peri-m, how mood, energy and libido are (quite frankly all are low).

She emphasized that hormones don’t drive weight gain but that metabolism changes as we age.

So in short I think I need to basically look after myself a bit better in terms of food and exercise. Which I guess I knew already but kind of good to have it confirmed.

In other news I went for a swim yesterday and remembered how much I love it, and did a 30 min apple fitness workout this morning. I may have scoffed a supermarket baguette and a Twix for lunch but HEY, the exercise is still a step in the right direction. I have also signed up to an online coach/PT who will help with both nutrition and fitness too, I hope….

Glad you didn't cry! Well done.

However ...

She emphasized that hormones don’t drive weight gain

... this isn't true. If your body is being provoked into producing high levels of insulin (which will happen if you're eating too many carbs), this will lead to the laying down of fat.

Although many factors affect fat cells, the hormone insulin exerts dominant anabolic control. Insulin decreases the circulating concentration of all major metabolic fuels by stimulating glucose uptake into tissues, suppressing release of fatty acids from adipose tissue, inhibiting production of ketones in the liver, and promoting fat and glycogen deposition. Consistent with these effects, states of increased insulin action (such as insulin-producing tumors, initiation of insulin treatment of type 2 diabetes or overtreatment of type 1 diabetes) are predictably associated with weight gain

This is from this paper called The Carbohydrate-Insulin Model of Obesity: Beyond ‘Calories In, Calories Out’

@MrsHood,@MrsHood, I think gynae are talking crap tbh. I can't actually believe they came out with what they said. You can be perimenopausal and still have periods even though they may be lighter /heavier or shorter/longer. I was like you, early forties started putting on weight around the middle, when I my weight previously had not changed since the age of 13. Your moods are low and libido, your gaining weight, all classic symptoms. If I were you I would consider hrt before more symptoms come along.

@MrsHood I’m exactly the same stats as you and have also put on weight wfh

what i think has hugely contributed to it… lack of walking, which was previously burned more Calories than what I’m doing now.

I popped to the office the other day and I noticed I walked 6000 steps in the office that day! Just from going to/from my desk to the kitchen, up down the stairs, walking to meeting rooms etc etc. a day at home can be just 2000-3000 steps embarrassingly!

I think plenty of water and no snacks plus one caffeine drink per day will help. My sleep is grim since February owing to work and money stress. Caffeine however greatly disturbs my sleep. So as of today am only drinking one cup of tea daily. I am 58 and sick and tired of weight gain then weight loss up and down endkessly. I really do think caffeine affects me hugely.IMHO.

I also know several people who have lost a ton of weight from giving up the car. I realise this isn't possible for most people but d's is 18 soon and he will no longer need a lift once his cadets stops. I am selling my car then and cycling and walking everywhere. I work from home and our bus service is excellent. I have already cut down massively on car use. HTH.

@Business and @Tootsey11 I didn’t explain well. She was referring more to the Mirena and how having that in or out was unlikely to have an impact on my weight and that it was “multi-factorial”. That basically there was no magic wand and that diet and exercise were important anyway.

Same with libido and mood, in that anything could be causing that - and tbh the latter has been low since having kid 10 years ago.

I’ve had no periods whilst on the Mirena so she was saying that it’s difficult to tell whether peri-meno is approaching but the fact that I have had small bleeds / spotting over the last 6 months as my Mirena reaches it shelf life, it could indicate that my periods would come back. And that the best way to tell would be to have a break from the Mirena to see if that impacts periods, mood, libido but that that alone would be unlikely to make me lose weight.

@AhAgain and @Sellie555 indeed my steps are low and I’m a bit embarrassed about it tbh. 10k daily seems really out of reach. There have been weeks when I haven’t left the house due to wfh. I’ve joked with DH about getting a dog just to force me to get out - our pals with a young lab walk at least 1.5hrs a day each. He’s having none of it though - he’s right that he’d end up doing the grunt work!

@BIWI i meant to tag you. Not sure who @business is 😳

Thanks @Lightning020 and well done you.

Giving up the car is not an option for us at this point, with kids clubs and getting to the office in the days I do go in, it would not be manageable. I have considered an e-bike (it’s VERY hilly where we live).

I don’t drink tea or coffee but hot chocolate is my weakness. The free stuff in the office is delicious. It’s too hot to drink it at home in the summer but I do succumb to a mug of it in winter.

In fact I know think sugar is my downfall so Biwi’s snippet did ring a bell.

OP I used to live in Ireland in a quite hilly part.

It was socially normal for everyone to walk for exercise. You'd look out the window any time of the day and see adults with earphones and trainers walking for fresh air and exercise.

You don't need a dog, you need airpods and a good audio book and trainers and walk for 45 mins before and after work.

I go back to work full time next month after 15yrs with the children/dogs and very part time work.

My plan is to still walk for an hour fast each morning at 5am without the dogs (as they will now have a midday dog walker) which is when I'd usually be up anyway so I'm back in time to wake the children for school at 6am.

And three days a week I will do a Hiit workout too, so wake the kids and then in the time between waking them and the school run, do a 30min workout.

I then do the school run from 7-7.25 and home for quick shower and change before driving to work at 8.15.

You honestly can fit these things in if you really want to.

I aim for 15k steps on a workday and 20k at the weekend and in school hols.

I've been doing a variation of this since I cancelled my gym membership 5yrs ago so I am practiced and have a mat and weights set up in the garage and a yoga block wedged into the garage wall as a stand for my phone!
However if you really want to make a change you really can.

I do 'bodyfit by amy' workouts or PMA fitness, or if I'm really stuck for time, a Joe Wicks 20 or 15 minute one.

Good luck op.

Just turned 50 and I absolutely cannot eat now what I could eat 5 years ago. I have to eat no more than twice a day (so intermittent fasting) and never have carbs aside from veg (but no potatoes) and no sugar (fruit is now off the table).
It’s easy to eat this way to be fair - I just add more veg instead of the carb.
So for breakfast yesterday which I had at 12 noon, I had Greek natural yoghurt (absolutely not low fat and no added sugar) with some walnuts and flaxseed.
Then for dinner at 6pm, I had marinated chicken (a big portion) with roasted red pepper and courgettes and a big heap of spinach and rocket. And that was it.
Eating like this helped me to lose around 8 pounds but I started on HRT last month and I feel like it’s creeping up again and feel really bloated. It’s crazy to me that I may need to reduce food even further.
The good thing about healthy Keto is that you honestly don’t feel hungry - no insulin spikes.
I also do resistance training and Pilates.

You can change this but it will take change - everyone hits their crux time at a different age - Mine was around 45 - it’s all hormone related.
Also sleep is very important - consider taking 5HTP to reset your sleep patterns.
You can do this - we’re all in the same boat so there’s comfort in that. Don’t compare what you have to eat to your DC or DH - you will go mad 😂