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Original poster

if you don’t have children, who / what are you leaving your assets to in your will ?

128 replies

workwoes123 · 12/08/2022 11:58

DH and I have two children, first / only marriage for each of us. Our wills are very simple mirror wills leaving everything to each other in the first instance, then to be shared equally between our children.

If you and your partner (if you have one) don’t have children, who or what are you leaving your assets to ?

I’m mostly asking out of nosiness (as this is an anonymous forum) but also as we have this situation in our family and I’m interested what other people have done.

OP posts:
youlightupmyday · 13/08/2022 06:26

Ladyof2022 · 13/08/2022 03:51

This is something I have agonised over because I am mid-60s, single, no kids, no partner and my one distant half-sibling is 10 yrs older than me and wealthy. She has two offspring in their mid-40s, who I have only met once when they were tiny, but they have never taken the slightest interest in me, have never visited me or sent me a birthday or xmas card. Because of this I don't think they deserve to inherit money I worked for all my life, just because of a small genetic connection with me. Also they will inherit from their parents, so don't need it.

After much thought I made a will leaving everything to my lodger. She's one of the kindest, most thoughtful people I have ever known, and she has no inheritance from anyone else, as her father died when she was a child and her mother lives in poverty back in their own country. What is more, she works extremely hard at her job, never takes a sickie, and it paid an absolute pittance. She has no prospect of ever being able to afford even to rent a flat let alone ever being able to put down a deposit on a house, and is destined to be forever a lodger in someone's house unless she meets a man who will provide a home for them both. And so, for all those reasons, I have left her my house and every penny I have saved up, and she will be able to stay and have lodgers of her own, and stop slaving on minimum wage, or sell up and take nearly a million quid back to her own country where she will live like a queen.

Are you terminally ill?

EmergencyHepNeeded · 13/08/2022 06:28

@youlightupmyday she says an accident could kill all of them (not both of them).

GeriSignfeld · 13/08/2022 06:30

I will leave it to my nephews & some to animal charities (ones that focus on senior dog palliative care)

notjustafarmer · 13/08/2022 08:38

NanaNelly · 12/08/2022 21:35

If a woman leaves their estate to her partner and that partner then remarries does the woman not mind her money going to a complete stranger if the male partner then dies.

I'm single so not in that position but if I didn't have kids and was in a solid relationship and wanted to leave my estate to my partner I'd do just that.

Once I'm dead I'm dead.

VanGoghsDog · 13/08/2022 10:29

youlightupmyday · 13/08/2022 06:26

Are you terminally ill?

Show quote history

What an odd thing to ask. We're taking about our wills. Obviously the older you get the sharper focus you put on it.

A mistake so many people make is not to write a will and then their estate follows the intestacy rules. Or, not write one and then lose capacity even if they've been saying for years "I want x, y and z to have......", if they've lost capacity it's too late to make (or change) a will. The latter is worth remembering for those who think they might change their will at a later date.

Stripedbag101 · 13/08/2022 16:05

@Ladyof2022 have you made an effort with your nieces and nephews

i say that because an elderly aunt recently snapped at me for not visiting.

she took no interest in me as a child- never sent a birthday card, never took me out for the day or tried to get to know me. she couldn’t have told anyone what school I went to, what class I was in, what I studied at university etc.

so it cuts both ways. She is now on her own and nearly ninety. I don’t want to inherit from her, but I would have made a much greater effort to care for her in her old age if she had tried to make a connection with me in the decades when she didn’t need me.

Ladyof2022 · 13/08/2022 16:54

Stripedbag101 · 13/08/2022 16:05

@Ladyof2022 have you made an effort with your nieces and nephews

i say that because an elderly aunt recently snapped at me for not visiting.

she took no interest in me as a child- never sent a birthday card, never took me out for the day or tried to get to know me. she couldn’t have told anyone what school I went to, what class I was in, what I studied at university etc.

so it cuts both ways. She is now on her own and nearly ninety. I don’t want to inherit from her, but I would have made a much greater effort to care for her in her old age if she had tried to make a connection with me in the decades when she didn’t need me.

I think the question irrelevant because the person I have now chosen is far more needy and far more deserving than the nieces.

I only mentioned them in my post because when talking about inheritance, people always default to leaving money to blood relations. I wanted to explain why I was not leaving my fortune to blood relations. My money did not come from family so there is no need for it to go to family. I'm happy with my choice and it makes me smile to think of the better life my lodger will have as a result of it.

VanGoghsDog · 13/08/2022 17:26

Stripedbag101 · 13/08/2022 16:05

@Ladyof2022 have you made an effort with your nieces and nephews

i say that because an elderly aunt recently snapped at me for not visiting.

she took no interest in me as a child- never sent a birthday card, never took me out for the day or tried to get to know me. she couldn’t have told anyone what school I went to, what class I was in, what I studied at university etc.

so it cuts both ways. She is now on her own and nearly ninety. I don’t want to inherit from her, but I would have made a much greater effort to care for her in her old age if she had tried to make a connection with me in the decades when she didn’t need me.

I made massive efforts with my niece and nephew, saw them as kids several times a year, always around Christmas, their birthdays. I've never missed a birthday. Been very generous with gifts, as well as lump sums when they each left home. As adults met with them each fir their birthdays, bought them and their partners dinner, have bought Christmas gifts for any number of partners. Sent them both money during lockdown, employed my niece through my Ltd co for some admin work when she was out of work during Covid.

They're in their thirties. I never hear a word from them. I've never had any birthday wishes and they only call at Christmas because they are with my sister and she calls (she doesn't like me being on my own at Christmas, but I don't like driving four hours to sleep on a couch, when I can stay home in my comfy bed and see friends).

I'm still leaving them most of my money, but I guess it's possible I might change my mind!

Zoeslatesttrope · 19/08/2022 07:12

How do you write a will please? Is it free?

Zoeslatesttrope · 19/08/2022 07:18

@Ladyof2022 I love your will.

SummerLobelia · 19/08/2022 07:55

Zoeslatesttrope · 19/08/2022 07:12

How do you write a will please? Is it free?

You cna write a will yourself and have it witnessed by 2 people (who are not beneficiaries, otherwise any gift you give them is invalidated). However, as a solicitor who worked briefly in probate I would recommend getting a proper lawyer to write it for you because it is insanely easy to accidentally create an intestacy or else to invalidate a will. Also if you do not want your will challenged by people who think they have a right to your estate then it is best to tie it up tightly. There may also be things a probate lawyer can advise on if you have dependants etc or want something to go to charity.

It does not have to be expensive. For alot of law firms it is their bread and butter. It's been about 5 years since I did will writing but we charged £180.00 plus VAT for a will that was either straightforward or had minor complications.

We also earned alot cleaning up home made wills for people OR fighting challenges from people who felt entitled to something when they were not so I would never recommend a home made will.

Shop around.

Dougieowner · 19/08/2022 08:03

Zoeslatesttrope · 19/08/2022 07:12

How do you write a will please? Is it free?

It CAN be free if it is written by a charity and you leave them a proportion of your estate.
Most people use a solicitor or will writing service, it isn't expensive (unless you have hugely complicated affairs) and normally costs £150-200 (ish) each.
DIY wills are available but having been on the receiving end of one of these that hadn't been written correctly I think it is false economy.
As for what to do with the will when it is written..... Some give it to a solicitor, you can lodge a copy with the probate office or like us, keep it in a fire-safe at home. As long as people know where to locate it when the time comes.

SummerLobelia · 19/08/2022 08:19

Yes, and if you write a will with someone reputable they will usually lodge it with a national database called Certainty. That does not cost you anything (or at leats it didn't. Like I said it's been 5 years since I worked in probate). The will itself is not lodged, just the details of your name, the date of the will and the place/ solcitor firm it can be located. It's a brilliant service that means if a potential benficairy has no idea where a will is they can ask a local solicitor to search Certainty and within literally minutes they will be able to identify the details so you can find it.

hattie43 · 19/08/2022 08:21

Mine will be going to the dog charity I have had many pets from and continue to support

hattie43 · 19/08/2022 08:26

PrincessSpanky · 12/08/2022 21:22

Intriguing the amount of charity bequests. Didn't think such a high percentage would leave to charities.

It's because a lot of us have very uninterested relatives until the moneytree starts shaking .
I'd much rather leave to charity than little jonnie blowing it on a fast car and the rest up his nose

hattie43 · 19/08/2022 08:28

NanaNelly · 12/08/2022 21:35

If a woman leaves their estate to her partner and that partner then remarries does the woman not mind her money going to a complete stranger if the male partner then dies.

This happened to a friend .
Mum died of cancer and her husband was living with another woman within a year all on her mums money . Friend and ' stepdad' are now estranged

Stuffin · 19/08/2022 08:31

It will all go to DH if he outlives me.

If he doesn't then it will go to charity.

MorrisZapp · 19/08/2022 08:36

My childless uncle left his estate to a long list of small local charities. My dad had the task of untangling it all because many of the charities had changed names, been incorporated into other charities, or ceased to exist. The administration of all this meant the estate was drained of funds that my uncle would much rather have gone direct to good causes.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 19/08/2022 08:45

DH and I have two children, first / only marriage for each of us. Our wills are very simple mirror wills leaving everything to each other in the first instance, then to be shared equally between our children.

This is going to sound brutal but we are talking wills here so needs saying....You should still make provision in your will for if, god forbid, your children aren't alive to inherit. So for example If all 4 of you are killed in an accident. Or if you never update your wills and then you outlive them. Not thoughts any of us want to dwell on but you do need your wills to cover every eventuality.

Initially, we had our parents inheriting if our children weren't alive, then our siblings if our parents weren't alive either.

We have since changed such that our nephews & nieces will be first in line.

KosherDill · 19/08/2022 08:52

I have a fairly large estate and it's being split largely between two elephant rescue charities, with a few small bequests to other charities and adult friends.

The now-adult younger generation in my family have been unresponsive to attempts to get to know them, so last year I rewrote my will to eliminate them and am quite at peace that my legacy will be helping endangered species.

CrunchyCarrot · 19/08/2022 08:59

I've left everything to my DP. I am quite a bit older than him and not in great health, so expect to 'go first' but as we all know, life doesn't always pan out that way, so if he pre-deceases me then I'd need to make a new will. As I don't have any kids or siblings I'd leave any remaining funds to charity.

If my DP is the last left, he would leave a good chunk to his relatives and I expect some to charity, too.

Fifthtimelucky · 19/08/2022 10:09

Mine goes to my children, but if we all go together, or they predecease me, it will be divided equally between my siblings (or their children if sibling is dead).

There are also specific amounts for 3 charities and 2 friends.

whirlyhead · 19/08/2022 10:11

We have a lot of nephews and nieces between us, but they don't need the money so it will all be going to charity.

MrsSkylerWhite · 19/08/2022 10:12

if we had no children, we would leave some charity bequests but otherwise not leave assets. We would use them to enjoy our lives.

Pasithean · 19/08/2022 10:21

Dh has kids to leave it too. Mine will be charity or burned. Rather than any of the family getting it.