Are these symptoms of ADHD in an adult?

[FlorencePennnywell]

I asked this elsewhere but haven't had any responses so thought I'd cast my bet a little wider! Have copied and pasted it and would appreciate thoughts ..

1. Never been able to hold down a job. In 30 + years of working. Some jobs have lasted an hour, others 5 years but all end the same. I've had dozens and dozens and dozens of jobs. Either almost sacked, don't bother turning up, can't focus, don't want to be there, feel panicky when I'm there ( Resolved by working for myself!)

1. Useless with money. Started aged 18 when the bank manager actually turned up on the doorstep to confiscate my cheque guarantee card. Just cannot manage money (I get round this by earning enough now!)

1. Passions. A lifetime of cast off hobbies. I'll be passionate about something for a short while and then very quickly lose interest. Latest was a mini trampoline. Had to have the best one etc at a cost of £400. Used it once. This is one in a long line of 'things'

1. Feel very odd around people sometimes. Like I'm wearing a mask. I pitched for a job yesterday and got it. Lovely man and lovely company. Came away feeling sorry for them as 'I'll just mess this up.' It's not imposter syndrome though

On the flip side, I'm not a chaotic person. My home is very clean and tidy. My marriage is normal and I'm a decent parent who provides a nice stable home

It's irritating me now though so wondered if anyone has any thoughts for me

@SpaceRaiders perhaps differently abled?

I love the Art of Autism Comic Book explanation of ASC.

For me, I was just diagnosed by my GP and put on Adderall (which I know isn’t as much of an option there)

I do feel it was the right course of action in my case but I also tend to agree with the notion that most people really should be diagnosed by a psychiatrist or other specialist.

For me, the biggest help in having a diagnosis is being able to look up my struggle points in relation to ADHD, and find coping mechanisms that have worked for others whose brains work the way mine does.

You sound like you have ADHD.

You may have worked on keeping your space tidy because you get overloaded by mess.

I started taking meds last Saturday and I can't believe the difference it's made. I was hopeless at being tidy, my inner critic was a raging monster and I talked way too much, I feel so much better with very few side affects. I had no idea how serious my issues were until they stopped.

I used every self help tip I could, I worked out every morning and pretend to be someone else just to get by. I also had lots of therapy but none of it worked.

Covering up my ADHD left me no time for anything else. On these pills all the old techniques are working. Also my inner critic is now pretty reasonable and objective.

I was on the waiting list for 3 years but I was diagnosed in under an hour. Be patient, getting diagnosed is one of the best things I've ever done.

Go easy on yourself.

@Rabblemum. Does the other person you pretend to be have a separate name? I've had to re-employ 'Doris' (named after a brilliant cleaner from my uni days). I'd lost touch with my Doris side but have had to bring her in to do attempt some serious decluttering of hoarding in order to be able to clean. It sounds mad but somehow it works...

No, but I have gone by a lot a nicknames. I used new nicknames to be come a new me.

I do call my ADHD "The Monkey".

I would like to be diagnosed as having ADHD because it would answer a lot of questions. I’m interested about how people here feel paranoia at work. I have a few close friends and, after I’ve been out for an evening with them either one to one or in a group, I go over all what I’ve said, did I say this? Did I do that? Even if I haven’t had a drink so I can be clear about what I’m saying at the time. I’ve never offended them but I still wake up with dread the next morning.

I went to the Drs 2 months ago and she’s known me for 20 yrs now. I said to her “ I’m not depressed you know, I’ve just never felt right, never feel like I’m the same as other people”. She gave me two questionnaires to complete one for ASD and the other for ADHD. I’m just over the criteria for ADHD, it could be more but it asks about the past and I can’t remember that. Anyway, I’ve not given the form back yet.

I would like to go for a private assessment but I’m scared they’ll laugh me out of the place. A counsellor thought I had borderline personality disorder but I’m not sure.

Rabblemum

You may have worked on keeping your space tidy because you get overloaded by mess.

This rings true for me certainly. I used to be very messy, late for everything, easily distracted. I still am very easily distracted, but I found being messy overwhelming, so I learned to keep things tidy, to the extent that I'm somewhat obsessive the other way. Everything has to be in its place, lined up straight etc.

I keep huge lists of reminders in an app for everything - literally stuff like "plump cushions", "vacuum", "put dishwasher on", otherwise I will just forget to do them.

I find my brain very quickly solves problems and comes up with plans, but I have to write everything down otherwise it disappears when the next distraction comes along.

@TheLeadbetterLife what is the app that you use, please?

It's just Apple Reminders. I have colour-coded categories like Finances, Household, Car, Pets, Garden, Repairs, Work etc., and individual reminders in each of those. You can set them to repeat however often you like, so that you can tick them off as you complete them. It's very satisfying, and means I have an automatically generated to-do list every day.

On the face of it, yes, sounds like ADHD. I was diagnosed as an adult, myself.

Does the way you are cause you distress?

The way I am caused (causes) me distress. It is one root of the mental health issues I've had over the years. So I take medication to help manage dopamine levels and make use of online support groups and a targeted CBT app (when I remember to use said app) to develop more useful coping strategies. Things are a lot less overwhelming these days with that piece of the puzzle in place.

FWIW, I see you talking yourself down about your work history, but then again ... working your way up from a lower pay bracket and doing it so effectively that you are now running your own business with a partner whose skills complement yours sounds incredible to me.

I would love to be able to work for myself, but I haven't found a way to maintain the focus and routine that I'd need to accomplish that. Maybe someday.

It sounds possibly more like asc than adhd to me but perhaps that's because my adhd doesn't feel like what I'm reading from your description.

I get overwhelmed my mess, I utterly hate it, but I cannot keep a tidy or clean house. I've become obsessed with decluttering techniques, fly lady, but it lasts a week maybe two and falls by the wayside. Then I feel utterly rubbish because I've failed, yet again, to provide my family with a calm home, especially for my eldest who also has adhd and depression.

I would do anything to work out how you get there with creating an organised family home, consistently!

I love people, love socialising but do also get a bit of burn out now and again.

I've always managed to keep jobs, although I have changed jobs lots due to boredom (which I initially thought was ambition) but I have learnt that I need to be senior so that I can delegate everything as I do not finish tasks.

My hyperfocus is my superpower, along with my ability to get on with almost everyone.

It often makes me lol when colleagues say to me I seem so 'together' as I think they would be horrified if they saw how I live. My poor kids 😔

@PutYourBackIntoit hmm hard to say how I do it! I love my house and all the nice things in it and one of my focusses has always been providing a nice home for the kids.

It just makes me feel good to have it all tidy and clean. Play the ten things game maybe? So, for example, walk into your bedroom and tidy 10 things. For me this would be ...

Make bed
Ensure all drawers closed
Polish standing mirror
Wipe over the bedside tables and chests of drawers
Ensure all bits of make up/ brushes are in their correct place
Straighten items on bedside table tops
Remove glass of water
Light dust
Grab dyson and Hoover
Wipe door handles and switches

There's 10 things. Count each one off mentally as you go along. And because they're done daily, my bedroom is immaculate plus all of the above takes me less than ten mins

I apply this stupid mind game to every room in my house and et voila!

Regarding clutter.. just don't have it. Just don't 'hang on to things' 'just in case' Everything takes so much longer if you have to de clutter first so that should be a job you do once and once only

And this is what makes me question ADHD sometimes - because I'm very neat and tidy yet don't have OCD