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Original poster

Do I need to inform the SRA of this? Stressed!

61 replies

SettingBeu · 09/08/2022 20:10

Just under two years ago I had a baby with a man who went off the radar days after the birth. I went into complete meltdown and contacted him repeatedly about the relationship, money etc etc. He didn’t reply and instead I had the police contact me and I was issued with what I think was some sort of warning and told not to contact him. I’m not sure if that constitutes a restraining order (I do property law so have no idea about these things!). I’m due to go back to work in September as a lawyer and it’s just dawned on me that do I need to report this to the SRA? I’m embarrassed and ashamed that I let him get to me like I did and I know it was insane. I was absolutely floored by it at the time and I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t even considered how this may impact my career and now I feel like the whole thing is being relived and I just don’t know what to do. Anyone have any knowledge? The firm itself hasn’t asked for a DBS check but maybe they get one automatically I don’t know. That’s a separate concern regarding the actual firm rather than the SRA. Argh so stressed.

OP posts:
Ottersmith · 09/08/2022 21:47

It sounds like you went through an awful experience. Having to deal with that a few days after birth, with all the hormones, and in a very vulnerable state, sounds awful. Don't blame yourself for doing it. You had just given birth!! Sounds like you are still traumatised by it and if you saw a therapist about it I think it would really help. Absolutely none of it was your fault and the police were right pricks to do that and he was a complete utter cunt and it's good he's not in your life any more. I'm glad you got maintenance off him. Bastard.

Speak to a therapist and banish these demons.

Original poster
SettingBeu · 09/08/2022 21:51

Thanks @Ottersmith i was doing much better until I had to think about all this. He was terrible to me and caused me and the baby so so much distress. I remember sobbing that he wouldn’t ever see DC and now I am so glad I don’t have to have him in my life. At the time I felt like I had lost this prize man and it was all on me. Looking back I actually cannot believe he just walked out never to contact me again days after birth. What the fuck. Urgh I was doing so so much better before I had to think of this and it’s traumatic to go over in my head.

OP posts:
Berlioze · 09/08/2022 21:51

For future reference, I wouldn't bother with The Lawyer, The Law Society Gazette does report on cases against solicitors regularly. You can opt in to receive email updates and scan through those regularly. This can be quite helpful and does not require being an expert in regulatory law.

greyradiation · 09/08/2022 21:58

@Berlioze there are many many MANY solicitors who are both dumb and incapable. It really is not some vaunted profession full of morally irreproachable geniuses

Absolutely agree. Also agree that the OP is neither dumb nor incapable. It's take all sorts to be a lawyer. I qualified 25 years ago

Eloise791 · 09/08/2022 22:04

Op doesn’t have a criminal conviction.

catandcoffee · 09/08/2022 22:10

I can't believe that the Police actually warned you about harassment. The nasty dickhead left you at one of the most vulnerable times of your life.
He must have friends in high places to get the Police involved.

Mummybud · 09/08/2022 22:12

OP are you starting at a new firm? That’s how I read your original post. All the more reason to iron this out tomorrow. I appreciate you won’t want to trouble your firm with it if it’s not an actual issue, but you won’t want it to crop up in your probation period if it is. You should start your new job with a clear conscience and renewed focus - good luck getting back into it. The profession needs more mums returning from career breaks and fewer judgemental comments on MumsNet.

Original poster
SettingBeu · 09/08/2022 22:13

@catandcoffee hadnt even considered that. I guess they felt they had to do it in line with the law and the messages I suppose were harassment. Although he never actually told me not to contact him so for the first week I had no idea if he was even ok! Horrible man.

OP posts:
Original poster
SettingBeu · 09/08/2022 22:14

Thanks @Mummybud yes exactly, so I have no one to talk to at the new place as I haven’t met anyone yet. I’m going to make calls first thing.

OP posts:
CheshireSplat · 22/08/2022 04:28

How did you get on, OP?

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