Do I need to inform the SRA of this? Stressed!

[SettingBeu]

Just under two years ago I had a baby with a man who went off the radar days after the birth. I went into complete meltdown and contacted him repeatedly about the relationship, money etc etc. He didn’t reply and instead I had the police contact me and I was issued with what I think was some sort of warning and told not to contact him. I’m not sure if that constitutes a restraining order (I do property law so have no idea about these things!). I’m due to go back to work in September as a lawyer and it’s just dawned on me that do I need to report this to the SRA? I’m embarrassed and ashamed that I let him get to me like I did and I know it was insane. I was absolutely floored by it at the time and I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t even considered how this may impact my career and now I feel like the whole thing is being relived and I just don’t know what to do. Anyone have any knowledge? The firm itself hasn’t asked for a DBS check but maybe they get one automatically I don’t know. That’s a separate concern regarding the actual firm rather than the SRA. Argh so stressed.

Why don't you contact the Law Society rather than the SRA?

But they won't be able to help if you don't know what has actually happened. I don't understand why you won't contact the police and ask. Would it help to pretend (in your head, not to the Law Soc) that you're acting for a client, take a deep breath and pick up the phone?

Thanks @Eloise791 ive been so stressed and feel so stupid. This is like the final straw.

OP, sorry to put it bluntly, but if you're trying to hide things, you aren't fit to practice. I am not saying this issue would prevent you from practising or not, but your attitude is concerning and it cannot be justified by fear. You either know what you need to do and you do it or you don't.

Call the Law Society first for advice tomorrow. Speak to your firm's compliance officer. Even if it wasn't a restraining order, it could amount to a breach of code of conduct and therefore it may be notifiable.

I understand you had MH crisis back then, but there is no justification for letting this drag on for so long and for trying to wiggle out of it now. You should know that honesty is the best policy.

As for your comments that you were on maternity leave, how is this relevant? If you were employed and subject to SRA Code of Conduct maternity leave doesn't matter.

I am also concerned about the fact you didn't even investigate properly what has been issued to you after your MH improved. Words fail me sometimes.

Blunt words, but true. Don't be silly again, do the right thing, we don't have the full facts but purely on the limited information you gave, I would think it's not likely you'd end up struck off, but possibly with a lighter sanction.

@CheshireSplat yes I do need to. It’s not like me to be so withdrawn but I’m just broken by the whole sorry story. Anything remotely to do with that man makes me feel incredibly anxious and sick. I’m going to have to face it head on tomorrow and just deal with the consequences

I’ve no legal expertise whatsoever but can I say what a bastard. He abandons you and his child then tries to get out of his responsibilities by blaming you for trying to contact him. And takes action he probably knows could cause you problems to boot. May his penis rot and drop off.

@SettingBeu i hope everything goes ok for you.

I’m afraid I agree with Berlioze.

It sounds like a harassment warning. If so, it doesn’t mean any finding of guilt. It is used so that if you continue to contact the person you can’t later reasonably claim that you didn’t realise you were causing harassment.

What is more concerning is that you are trying to hide this from the SRA. Mistakes happen, and will happen in your legal career. You simply cannot try and hide them.

Were you swearing / making threats in the messages? If not just tell them that you was messaging the father of your child when he disappeared to find out where he was/when he wanted to.see the child and if he was going to pay maintenance and he reported that as harassment to the police.

Thanks @Ohtoberoavingagain embarrassingly I spent a few months making excuse for him when in meltdown with friends and family. Everyone said pretty much what you’ve just said and I couldn’t see it… I just remembered this lovely relationship we had prior to the baby… ie prior to any demands being made of him whatsoever. He’s 46 and never once asked about the baby since he left almost two years ago! Sad awful man. Having to deal with this issue brings it all back.

I really think you need to find out as others have said exactly what you were issued with. No emails, no paper trail? Name of officer? Do that before going and having a useless conversation with the SRA which will look shady, and unprofessional.

This sounds similar to a harassment warning the police gave to my friends ex. He was parking outside her house, following her. He's a probation officer and whilst she wanted it to stop she didn't want it to harm his career. So the police paid an informal visit and advised him to stop (which he did) otherwise it would become a formal complaint and impact him professionally.

@InTheCup i don’t remember the messages exactly, hmmm I may have called him a bastard or a cunt (about money and him not responding) but mostly I remember just pleading with him to talk about DC … nothing nasty just saying we needed to talk basically and please could we do that when it suited him etc that sort of thing.

I don’t agree with @Berlioze - I don’t think this would have any impact on your ability to practice as a property lawyer.

it does not show dishonesty of character. It shows a distressed response to an arsehole leaving you very much in the baby holding lurch. Very much a mitigating circumstance.

@Berlioze msy possibly come back with something high and mighty - but honestly there are many lawyers who have done much worse.

@Quantumphysicality im not trying to hide it or get out of it I just wanted to know what the consequences were likely to be. I know I have to face it.

And so it begins. Lay person attempting to advise (supposedly?) a lawyer without knowing or understanding the regulatory regime.

OP. I am in disbelief you are a solicitor, you don't know the rules and you're asking for advice on MN. You aren't qualified, are you? Are you due to start a TC? You sound incredibly naïve.

InTheCup I suspect you’re not a solicitor. This isn’t a case of trying to concoct a story. We have to be honest with the SRA (and in general!)

Ugh. I knew it.

@Berlioze there are many many MANY solicitors who are both dumb and incapable. It really is not some vaunted profession full of morally irreproachable geniuses.

not that I think the op sounds either dumb or incapable.

it is much harder to be rationale when it is about such an obviously emotional topic that has had such a personal impact.

We will need to agree to disagree then.

I won't come back with anything else than a suggestion to review SRA Tribunal actions against solicitors in the context of dishonesty and also incolving MH crisis. I shall just leave this here in the hope you know them well.

@Berlioze I’m not at all disputing that I need to address it, hence this thread as I am so worried about the consequences. We all make mistakes and all have difficult times. I presume you are too a lawyer and I hope nothing ever happens in your life that turns it upside down. For what it’s worth, if you met me you wouldn’t think this has happened to me. People are more fragile than you think even when working for a huge law firm or on good money. Anyone’s life can shatter. No need to be unkind.

Remember that the SRA prizes honesty above all else. I really would be surprised if they cared about the police telling you to back off, especially in the circumstances you describe. But I wouldn't be surprised if they struck you off for trying to conceal something from them. You need to discuss it with them. If you don't want to give them unnecessary information, ask the police first exactly what you were given, and then tell the SRA that you've got one of [whatever it is], and how would they like you to proceed.

ugh. I knew it would come back all patronizing and dripping with sarcasm.

I didn’t word my first bit well - I meant that I don’t think what she’s done is evidence that she’s a bad lawyer and that one should be astounded that she is a practicing solicitor. Being a solicitor is not some amazingly difficult thing to do that only a few special people are capable of doing.

I do think that the OP should disclose it and notify the SRA. I would be surprised if they prohibited her from practicing. That doesn’t mean that they definitely won’t. But thst would be very extreme.

Are The Solicitors' Charity any use?

I suspect the only solicitors who know and understand the SRA's regulatory regime are the ones who specialize in defending other solicitors who are being disciplined. Everyone else only looks at the headline cases in The Lawyer to see if they recognise any names, not because they want to perfect their knowledge of SRA caselaw.

I think you firstly need to find out what the Police action actually involved. Then speak to the Law Society - they won't be able to advise you unless they have all the facts (which you can't give them because you don't know) Then take it from there.

I don't think you are being dishonest, and I think it's unfair to suggest you are. On an anonymous forum, you are allowed to be concerned about yourself, your future and talk through your options. You don't always have to disclose matters to the SRA, that's why they have a table setting out things you have to disclose, to guide you.

Do you have another Solicitor or a Partner at your firm you could confide in and get some guidance?

I did apologise for being blunt OP, but I stand by everything I said and whether you believeit or not, it was said in your best interest. There is no need to act precious about anything said on here, you've asked fellow lawyers, we said what we think you should do in response. The comments aren't unkind, but I agree that they aren't easy to digest. These are two separate things, however.

As far as your assumptions about nothing awful ever happening in my life and me being a perfect individual/lawyer, you are incorrect. It is, however, what you do with a particular situation that matters. So instead of asking MN, do the right thing.

@Berlioze yes I am going to address it, just very anxious about the whole thing. Can’t believe I was ever so bloody stupid.